RUSH: Have you seen that they’ve taken the first-ever picture of a black hole? We’ve long suspected that there are black holes out there, but the first-ever actual picture of one has supposedly been taken.

And, you know, it got me to thinking. What is a black hole? Do you know what the definition of a black hole is? You know what it is, Mr. Snerdley? (interruption) What do you mean, you “know what it does”? (laughing) That’s exactly right! It’s a giant, giant Hoover. I mean, it sucks in airliners that were traveling to Malaysia. Don Lemon knows all about them. By the way, do you know he got engaged the other day or got married? Yeah. CNN made a big deal, Don Lemon and his husband-to-be somewhere. Maybe in Malaysia.

Black holes suck in missing airliners.

No, really they’re gigantic stars that have such mass and such gravity that nothing can escape, including light! Light cannot escape black holes. Everything in the reach of a black hole is crushed into nothingness. I think we ought to name them after Marxists. If we’re now locating black holes and if we’re gonna start photographing them and taking pictures, let’s name them after people who believe in doing the same type of thing to as many people around them as possible. We should name a black hole after Marx.

We should name a black hole after Engels, a black hole after Alinsky.

Socialists, Marxists, communists, and fascists.