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The Story of Dan’s Bake Sale

by Rush Limbaugh - Dec 8,2017

RUSH: Here is William in Cleveland. Great to have you on the program. Hi.

CALLER: Mega dittos, Rush. I listened to you since 1987 before you had that bake sale for Dan up in Colorado. I was calling to know that we have a president who’s a street fighter. He’s not gonna back down because of the fact that he was raised and brought up being for God, home and country. Plus, he came up earning his way. He’s won and he lost lots of money. He knows the inside of running a business and everything, and he’s gonna run the country the same way. So that’s why I voted for him, and I would still vote for him.

RUSH: You don’t have any regrets about voting for him?

CALLER: Not at all. And the thing is, usually when I answer a questionnaire that I go apply a job, I skip over what my ethnicity is, because I am Afro-American. I consider myself an American. That’s all I am is an American, and that’s why I’m for America ’cause I was raised up the same way.

RUSH: Wow. That’s incredible. So you’re not hyphenated at all. You just call yourself a flat-out American?

CALLER: I’m an American. I am an American. I believe in our country. I believe in God, home and country. This country has given us many opportunities. Even when we fail, it allows us to be able to take it back on our feet if we’re willing to work, and we can achieve despite whatever else is going on. That’s why I like Trump. Because Trump is a fighter. He will not quit. He’s using the tools he has at hand and he’s gonna succeed because of that. He’s not gonna allow his party to beat him, he’s not gonna allow the Democrats to beat him, he’s not gonna allow the media to beat him.

RUSH: Let me ask you a quick question. Is there anything that the mainstream media has reported or tried to report that’s made you stop and think for a minute? Has there been a single instance where they’ve made you doubt your support for Trump?

CALLER: Never. Remember, I listened to you since before 1987, just about. I know the fact that you said the media lies and cannot be trusted and it’s been proven time and time and time again.

RUSH: Oh.

CALLER: They never tell the truth. Why would I believe them?

RUSH: There you go. There you go. Dan’s Bake Sale. That was like in 1989.

CALLER: Yes, sir.

RUSH: We started the program in late 1988. You’re a lifer. You’ve been here for life. I can’t ask for more than that.

CALLER: Plus on top of that, I remember you tell me the only thing he mistake he made is he didn’t make enough cookies. He could have made a killing that day! I’ll never forget that when you said that on the air.

RUSH: Well, this guy Dan, never knew the opportunity he had in the ’80s. This is the most amazing thing. You want to hear the Dan’s Bake Sale story real quick?

CALLER: Yeah.

RUSH: Let me tell it to you real quick. I don’t want to belabor this ’cause there are other things I want to get to like Trump doing a rally for Moore tonight, but he’s not going to Alabama to do it, which is very clever. Back in the early nineties… This is after Bill Clinton had been immaculated. For some reason, a bunch of school kids started doing bake sales. (interruption) Well, that came later. The reason for the bake sales was originally to raise money for the school or whatever.

We’re talking first and second graders. The kids weren’t doing the baking. Their mothers were and then the kids were taking the baked goods to school and they were raising money with the bake sales, and it was a bit of a phenomenon. And then, at the same time, Clinton is talking about how he cannot give a middle class tax cut. (impression) “I have worked on this! I worked as hard on this as anything I’ve ever worked on in my life. I’m sorry, I’m gonna have to break my promise. I simply am not gonna be able to cut your taxes.

“Bush didn’t tell me how bad it was. I had no idea that things were as bad in this country as they are. They shielded that from me during the transition. I got in here and, folks, I’m sorry. I just… I can’t do the tax cut,” and he started whining and moaning about the deficit. So some liberal teacher out there (I think it was in Kansas but I’m not sure) decided that her next bake sale they would send the money to the president to help reduce the deficit. This is a bake sale raising $300.

Okay, so, the media started talking about a wonderful civic lesson this is: Young students learning the importance of the budget in the second and third grade! And, folks, I was right in there blowing that out of the sky. I said, “These kids aren’t learning anything. They’re being propagandized. Their parents are already overtaxed. It’s not that there isn’t enough money being sent to Washington by certain people doing bake sales or anything else. The reason to explain the deficit is because those people in Washington have no spending discipline.”

But, nevertheless, it was such a great, great liberal opportunity. So bake sales sprung up all over the country with the objective of sending the money to Clinton. The kicker was that Clinton kept it! That’s what I couldn’t believe. This guy actually kept the money these little kids were raising from selling their little divinity packages or whatever, their baked products. He was keeping the money, and thereby furthering this bogus lesson that even little kids need to send their money to Washington to help with the budget.

I correctly identified this for what it was. This was an attempt to get young skulls full of mush, early on, comfortable and even patriotically associated with the idea of sending their money to Washington, even after their parents had paid their taxes and all that. I excoriated Clinton for keeping the money. I said, “That is irresponsible. You want to teach the lesson? Teach the lesson but send the money back to ’em. Be magnanimous. That money is not gonna matter a hill of beans to the deficit. Send it back to ’em.”

But he didn’t. He kept it. Meaning the government kept it. Well, during all this, a guy called my program and complained that he couldn’t afford a subscription to The Limbaugh Letter and asked me for a free subscription, and back then I wasn’t in the practice of giving things away like I am today. I told the guy… His name was Dan. I said, “Dan, do a bake sale. Do a bake sale. How long would it take? You can do a bake sale in 10 minutes and raise the 24 bucks needed to buy a subscription.”

He hemmed and he hawed. You know, Dan’s elevator didn’t go to the top floor. But eventually he decided to do it. Well, that created a chain reaction of thousands of people in the audience wanting to be in on it. So Dan’s Bake Sale started as just whatever little Dan was gonna do wherever he lived and turned into a gigantic bake sale with — I forget what it was — 70,000 or 80,000 people showed up in Fort Collins, Colorado. Senator Hank Brown was there. I mean, they glommed onto it. NBC News was there. They called it the conservative Woodstock.

I flew out there, of course, to make a perfectly timed speech, and it was pouring, and we landed at the airport and had to take a helicopter up to Fort Collins. I’m telling you, the interstate to get there was backed up, it was stopped, and I couldn’t believe it. There were people all over the country who’d phoned in and offered billboards on the highways leading into Fort Collins months in advance advising that it was gonna happen. We had restaurateurs from New Orleans and all over the country flying into Fort Collins to set up booths.

And it was all called Dan’s Bake Sale. Now, remember, the whole point of this is for this schlub to raise 24 bucks to buy a one-year subscription to the newsletter. And this guy didn’t bake enough cookies for this massive bake sale with 70,000 people! He ran out of cookies in five minutes and started asking other vendors if they would give him some of their stuff to sell. Talk about…? (laughing) That’s what the caller means by blowing an opportunity.

And then, after that, Dan tried to set up his own bake sales thinking all he had to do was somehow get on another radio show and say he was doing another bake sale in some city, and that 70,000 people would show up. We got wind of it here. I got a call one day, “Are you aware that Dan’s doing another bake sale at the…?” “No, I didn’t know.” “You mean you’re not part of it?” I said, “No, I’m not.” So we figured out Dan was… (laughing) I mean, the caller talked about how he blew an opportunity, and he did.

He never got it. He never understood the opportunity he had. I mean, to show up at this… (interruption) Oh, that was a funny part too. Yeah, it was pouring rain. It was pouring rain, and the helicopter landed short of Fort Collins. We had the chopper in there, ’cause we couldn’t have got there if we drove. The interstate was backed up. So we choppered in there, and the moment — the moment — my helicopter touched down and got off, the skies cleared. And it was a radiant, almost cloudless sunny day, within moments of my arrival there.

And it wouldn’t have mattered. The rain wouldn’t have stopped what was gonna happen anyway. I mean, literally, 70,000 people. And here is the kicker: When it was all over, there was no mess. Local Fort Collins media was astounded there was no trash. Now, you take a look at the trash that the vagina hat ladies left after all their protests the day Trump got inaugurated. But there was no mess in Fort Collins. But as I think back on it, this guy, Dan?

What a… (laughing) He never saw the opportunity. If he would have just invested in a two-hour supply of cookies! He’s the reason it’s happening! Well, I, of course, became the reason it was… But it was Dan’s Bake Sale, not the EIB Network Bake Sale or Rush’s Bake Sale. We did all of this to poke fun at Clinton for taking the money of second and third graders from their little bake sales in Kansas and Wyoming and wherever else.

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: I knew this was gonna happen the moment I started telling the story. I checked the email during the break. “Why don’t you do things like that anymore, Dan’s Bake Sale?” Folks, I can’t. I am too famous to do stuff like that anymore, and it pains me. But I can’t do it. I mean, even back then it was 70,000 people that showed up, and they weren’t prepared for it out there. I mean, the stage was nothing more than a horse excrement platform in the center of town that was elevated by about three inches. I nearly got run over by Hank Brown’s horse.

I had to walk out. They gave me a police escort behind a horse, and the horse stopped and almost kicked me. I walked right behind it. I had my hands on its butt. I can’t. I would love to, but it’s just… (interruption) Believe what? Ah, too famous? (interruption) No, I don’t expect you to believe it, but I’m too famous. I can’t do stuff like that anymore. Anyway, the reason it was in Fort Collins is ’cause Dan lived in Fort Collins. Remember, his original complaint was his wife wouldn’t let him spend the money, because she was not a fan.

She wouldn’t let him spend the money on a subscription to the newsletter, so that’s when I suggested he do a bake sale and leave his wife out of it if she didn’t want to be part of it. (interruption) Oh, that’s right. He was getting Xerox copies. That’s what blew me up. We had a copyright and intellectual theft issue going on, and this guy did not know that he was admitting to a crime by saying he was copying issues of The Limbaugh Letter and passing it around. So I had to put a stop to that. We insisted that he do the bake sale idea.