RUSH: I’m thinking we gotta change the way we talk to them here, or talk about them. Somebody asked over the weekend, “What is the latest great product from Apple?” I found the question interesting. “You mean, you don’t know?” “No, I really don’t.” Interesting question. If you’re Apple, that’s not good, that people don’t know what your latest tremendously innovative product is. You would think everybody would know. Everybody who has an iPhone, you would think would be up to speed on things you can use with it, ’cause the answer to the question is the wireless Bluetooth AirPods, right?
I think one of the reasons why people don’t know it is you can’t get them. They were introduced last October, and then they were pulled. Before they were ever sold, they pulled them — and it said “coming soon.” And “soon” meant the middle of December, if you were one of the first 10 to show up and buy it. After that, after the first 10, it was six weeks from the moment you order the pair until they’re delivered, and it’s still six weeks. Six weeks! They must be tough to mass produce. They are amazingly innovative.
They’re the one Apple product I can’t use because I’m deaf. But they are tremendous. They’re these genuinely wireless Bluetooth AirPods. People who use them say that people listening to ’em on the phone say, “You’ve never sounded better.” They have microphones in them that are specially built, and apparently people using them to speak sound awesome. If you have the ear pods in and you’re say listening to a song, there are no volume button. So you double tap it and say, “Raise the volume, Siri. Turn it up.”
If you’re listening to music and you get a phone call, double tap either one of the AirPods; it’ll pause the music and answer the call. When you finish the call, the call is completed, and it goes back to the song from the moment you paused it. You can change the double tap on the AirPods to do a couple of different things. And, of course, this is just version 1. The next versions they’re gonna have many more software capabilities as they innovate them further and design them up. But you still can’t get ’em. Six weeks!
And they’re $159 for a pair of wireless AirPods. They come in a case that looks like dental floss. You charge that case, and that case will then charge the AirPods for 24 hours. The AirPods last anywhere from two to five hours, depending on how solidly you use them. In the meantime, Apple just announced that they have promoted some babe from some job to human resources. She’s now in the executive circle. Apple’s most recent announcements have been what they’ve been doing with clean energy, what they’ve been doing in human resources.
What they’ve been doing on LGBT Day, what they’ve been doing Gay Rights Day, what they’ve been doing on GLAAD TV Day. There haven’t been any product announcements, and people are hungering for products. So I’m thinking we need to change the way we speak to ’em. For example, “Mr. Cook?” The CEO. “Mr. Cook, you are not being inclusive, and Apple is coming up short in sustainability — and the evidence is AirPods. You announced the AirPods last October; they go on sale, but people are still waiting six weeks.
“You are discriminating against people.” You gotta use liberal language to get to these people. “You’re discriminating against potential buyers. Six weeks! It’s not fair. It’s not fair that some customers have got theirs and other customers have not. That’s unequal. It’s not inclusive, Mr. Cook. There are people who would love AirPods who cannot get them because you won’t make them, and that’s not fair, it’s not inclusive, and it’s not equal. But your human resources department apparently is big on the uptick and we’re all happy about that.
“We’re happy about all the solar farm clean energy and stuff. But when it comes to products, you’re not being inclusive — and, of course, sustainability? I mean, we haven’t even gotten to the point where the AirPods have their own sustainability ’cause there aren’t enough of them out there for people to buy.” Maybe that’ll work, folks. Who knows? But I’ve found that to get through to liberals, you gotta speak their language, and two of the big terms in liberalism today are “sustainability…” Run the test.
If you have Millennial kids who think they know everything, go talk to them and somehow work in “sustainability” when talking about, say, energy or climate or any kind of process to improve life. And then offer your opinion, “Well, that’s not sustainable.” And they’ll think you’re brilliant, and they’ll agree with you ’cause sustainability is one of the biggest words in the Millennial lexicon. I have personally discovered this. And then “inclusion.” Inclusivity. Those two things. If you want to worm your way into the mysterious heart and tiny mind of today’s liberals, those two terms will get you there.
They will run you through the maze and you’ll hit pay dirt. As long as you can sell it. As long as you sound like you really believe in inclusion. And if you really think somebody is not being inclusive with what they’re doing and if what they’re doing isn’t sustainable, for example, Big Macs are not sustainable. We cannot sustain the planet with Big Macs because that’s beef, and that’s methane, cow farts, and that’s destroying the climate.
So Big Macs are not sustainable. So we must have sustainable energy plans, sustainable this, sustainable that, that are all-inclusive that take us to equality. Try it, my friends. If you have been having trouble with your Millennial kids, try working those three terms into any conversation, and they will think that you have overnight become brilliant and matured and you’ll become respectable parents.