RUSH: So don’t send ’em! For crying out loud. (shuffling papers) I don’t know. “Okay, Phantom Airlines Flight 0001 has a 50-50 chance of not making it to New York. It’s leaving in two hours. You need to be on it.” How many people would get on it? You got a 50-50 chance your kid is gonna be assaulted or worse at college. “She’s gotta get an education!” Okay, she goes, he goes; gets assaulted. “It’s horrible out there! We’ve gotta do something!”

How about not sending ’em to the place?

If the risks are this bad — and that’s what they’re telling us! There’s a rape culture on American campuses, campi, and it’s getting worse. Why, we’re even writing fake stories about the rapes that don’t happen just so people will know how bad it is! Well, why send them there, then? Is that it? Is this insensitive, by the way, to ask these things? I have to be very careful about this. I don’t know.

“You gotta go! You gotta go! You gotta go!”

There’s a 50-50 chance you’re gonna get assaulted.

“Still, you’ve gotta get an education. You gotta go! You gotta go!”

Okay, fine. It’s 50-50. Would you get on an airline that’s got a 50-50 chance of not making it? I don’t know how many would. If that’s advertised in advance, “We can assure you that there’s a one-in-two chance that you’re gonna make it to New York. Okay? By the way, there’s no reduction in the price.” You gonna go? I have found that logic is in itself controversial and is oftentimes “inflammatory.” Logic and common sense. So I’m just… That’s as far as I’m gonna go with any of this.

(interruption) Why are liberal college campuses so dangerous? (sigh) “Ted Cruz! You got people like Ted Cruz running around saying all these inflammatory things; that’s why campuses are dangerous. Ted Cruz doesn’t believe in global warming! Ted Cruz thinks rights come from God, dou believe that? No wonder people are at risk on college campuses!” That’s how it works. That’s a good question: “If college campuses are so dangerous, they’re liberal places, why?”

It’s like we have spent $18 trillion in this country that we don’t have. The large part of that deficit, that national debt, is spent on social services. Where is the utopia? Where is the happiness? Where is all the contentment? Where is all the prosperity? Lord knows we’ve spent $18 trillion, and $6 trillion of it just it is last six years. Where is utopia? The people getting it are angrier than ever. The people getting it are more unhappy than they’ve ever been.

The people on the receiving end of all of this “compassion,” dare I say it, are angrier than ever. They’re protesting, they’re violent, they’re ticked off. They’re certainly not happy. How does that work? Here we have the best of liberalism the last six years. We’ve got textbook classical Marxism/liberalism, the key to prosperity and happiness. Why is there no prosperity, and why is there no happiness? Consequently, liberal college campuses? That’s what most of them are. They are liberal citadels.

They are citadels of liberalism. How in the world…? I thought it was Republicans conducting War on Women, not college campuses. If I didn’t know better, I’d say the War on Women is being conducted by universities. And if not by the university, at least the battlefield is the university. But I’m told it’s the Republicans conducting War on Women. So much of this doesn’t make sense to me. I need answers.

We’re supposed to be in a utopia. We’re supposed to have people deliriously happy, content. People are supposed to have more than they’ve ever had. We’re opening the borders! The beauty, the bounty of America is available to more and more people than ever before, and the recipients of all this are angry and ticked off like they’ve never been, and they’re poorer. Why? Meanwhile, over here, the Republicans are the dreaded enemy and conservatives are even worse.

There’s a conservative college out there. Have you ever heard of it? Hillsdale College? I don’t remember the last story of an assault on a student from that university. Do you? And I know damn well if there had been one, it’d be the only one we’d be hearing about. No, we’re hearing stories of assault in citadels of liberalism. Like University of Virginia Charlottesville? That’s no different than the University of North Carolina at whatever the hell it is.

How many parents are naming their children Ann Arbor because of how safe and wonderful that place is? Well, seriously here, folks. All of these dangers that every student is being warned about, they’re all happening where liberals run everything. All of these cities where there’s mass anger, mass protest, mass unhappiness, prevalent poverty, are all run by liberal Democrats, all being protected by liberal Democrats.

The people that live in all these places?

The Democrats are the ones looking out for ’em and warning them to beware of these evil Republicans and conservatives.

And yet, they’re not doing anything.

So you can see why we’re confused here.