RUSH: Joyce in Lincoln, Nebraska. Great to have you on the EIB Network. Hi.

CALLER: Hi, Mr. Limbaugh, I am a Rush Babe. My handle is Huskers Rock, and I have nicknamed you. I’ve listened to you for two years, and, sir, you are the King of Think. You are the renaissance man, and you are bulletproof. And there’s nobody who can argue politics with me anymore. In fact, they ask my advice on it. But that’s not why I called.

RUSH: Wait a minute. You just can’t let that go. That is awesome. You’ve been listening to me for two years now, and so people can’t argue with you anymore, they don’t stand a chance?
CALLER: No. I’m converting liberals. With the help of your iced tea and your mugs, I know the whole thing.

RUSH: God bless you.

CALLER: I can tell ’em the Rush Theorem.

RUSH: King of Think.

CALLER: You’re the King of Think.

RUSH: Joyce, hang on. I have to take a obscene profit time-out here, but I am nowhere near being finished with your call. So don’t go away.

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RUSH: Back to the phones. Joyce in Lincoln, Nebraska. I’m glad you called. We got a little bit more time now. I wanted to take time to thank you. Those are awfully nice things that you said.

CALLER: It’s true, though. It’s really true. And you have taught me how to have a sense of humor yet be able to outtalk liberals, and they see my point.

RUSH: I really like, in just two years, you have now become a source authority for people, that they seek you out to have things explained to ’em. That’s big.

CALLER: They do. They ask me.

RUSH: That’s big.

CALLER: And it’s because of you, so that’s why I’ve nicknamed you the King of Think, bulletproof, and the renaissance man. I’m not easily impressed, but your brain impresses me, okay? And I’m not just saying that.

RUSH: That’s probably what you say to all the guys, though.

CALLER: I do not. I’ve been married to the same man for 40 years, and he is a very bright man, and you, your brain amazes me.

RUSH: Well, thank you very much. I really appreciate it. I know that’s not why you called, though.

CALLER: It isn’t. I called because — well, for one thing, I made up a jingle on the Weiner guy, and I e-mailed it to you, and I Twittered it to you, and it’s so funny, it cracks me up. I laugh out loud. Maybe nobody else thinks it’s funny, but it’s pretty funny. Anyway, I called because I loved the talk about cigars last Friday on your show. I do not drink, and I do not smoke, but my husband and I are having our 40th anniversary, and I want to buy an expensive single malt, whatever that is, and the best cigars there is, ’cause I know he likes cigars, and he needs to relax because his job is so stressful, and I thought, a-ha, King of Think will know what to tell me to buy.

RUSH: So you’re looking for some guidance on the finest single malts and cigars; is that right?

CALLER: That’s correct. And I live in Nebraska.

RUSH: What does that mean, that you might not be able to find what I’m gonna recommend?

CALLER: Yeah. I’m gonna have a hard time.

RUSH: No, you won’t. No, you won’t.

CALLER: Okay.

RUSH: ‘Cause I’m gonna give you some options.

CALLER: Okay.

RUSH: Because it’s hard to name just one single malt. There are many. It’s a Scotch that’s not blended. Just one barrel. And there are many of them, and it’s like anything else, it’s individual taste. What might be my favorite could not be somebody else’s, but it doesn’t mean that mine’s better, just I have a preference for it. So I’ll give you a couple.

CALLER: Okay.

RUSH: Glenmorangie is a great single malt.

CALLER: Okay.

RUSH: Comes in a number of different years. The older it is, the more expensive it’s gonna be.

CALLER: Okay.

RUSH: And the second would be Macallan. And the same thing there, the older it is, the more expensive. Macallan 20 is good, and you should be able to get that anywhere.

CALLER: At a liquor store?

RUSH: Oh, yeah.

CALLER: Oh, okay, I will. I’ll get the Macallan.

RUSH: I wouldn’t be surprised if Walmart had it.

CALLER: Oh, my goodness.

RUSH: Well, you can probably get Dom Perignon at Walmart.

CALLER: ‘Cause I saw a movie once where a guy sold his friend’s car for 300 bucks and went out and bought a bottle of single malt, and I thought, “I’m gonna do that before I die.”

RUSH: Some of them — I don’t want to scare you, but depending on how old, some of them are much more expensive than that. But you can find a great, great bottle for that price, and maybe even a little less.

CALLER: Okay.

RUSH: Even if you get a single malt that’s 10 years old, a single malt that’s 10 years old is gonna be fine, 10, 15, 20. Now, cigars…

CALLER: Yes.

RUSH: That’s gonna be a different thing. You know, I don’t know whether his taste is mild, kick ass —

CALLER: He loves cigars and he needs to mellow out. His job is so stressful.

RUSH: Okay.

CALLER: I want to sit around the fire and mellow out.

RUSH: Okay. Let me give you a couple here. Again, I’m at a bit of a disadvantage because there are so many good ones that I’m gonna anger some of these guys that I leave out. I hope they will understand. You’re saying mellow, and let me just give you three.

CALLER: Okay.

RUSH: And you might be able to find one of these. If you can find cigars by Arturo Fuente, that’s the brand name. And then you can find the Don Carlos or the Fuente Fuente OpusX. But find something by the Fuentes. It will be awesome.

CALLER: Okay.

RUSH: The other one, Ashton, is another mild, good cigar. Macanudo is another good cigar. And if you want one really, really, really strong —

CALLER: Well, we want something that — we don’t care that it tastes mellow. I want him to mellow out.

RUSH: Well, this will work. This will work.

CALLER: Okay.

RUSH: Here we have La Flor Dominicana —

CALLER: Oh, man.

RUSH: La Flor Dominicana Double Ligero Chisel.

CALLER: You’ll have to spell that one.

RUSH: La Flor is two words, L-a, then F-l-o-r.

CALLER: Okay.

RUSH: Then Dominicana, as in Dominican without the N.

CALLER: Okay.

RUSH: And then double, d-o-u-b-l-e.

CALLER: Yeah.

RUSH: Ligero, l-i-g-e-r-o.

CALLER: L-i-g-e-r-o.

RUSH: Chisel.

CALLER: Chisel.

RUSH: Right. And that’s the shape.

CALLER: Okay. Are they plugged and everything, or do you have to bite off the end and —

RUSH: No, you get a clipper. You get a clipper and clip off the end.

CALLER: Will they do that for me?

RUSH: They will.

CALLER: Okay.

RUSH: They’ll have all that. They’ll have lighters, clippers. They’ll have everything you need there.

CALLER: Okay. And where do I go for something like that?

RUSH: Well, now, in Lincoln, I don’t know. I’m sure there are tobacco shops. Google “tobacco” shops in your area or go online and buy these things online and have ’em shipped to you.

CALLER: Can you have liquor and cigars shipped to you?

RUSH: I wouldn’t do it with the liquor. You could.

CALLER: Okay.

RUSH: Find the liquor, you’ll find the Scotch. Cigars, you can have them shipped in particular.

CALLER: Okay. And they’re Macalalor.

RUSH: Macanudo.

CALLER: Macanoodle.

RUSH: No. M-a-c-a-n-u-d-o, Macanudo.

CALLER: Oh.

RUSH: Macanoodle is a macaroni. Anyway, you can’t go wrong with any of these things. (interruption) Snerdley, what do you mean you just checked Dom Perignon at Walmart? You went online? You didn’t see Dom Perignon at Walmart? Might not be online. I can’t believe that they’re not gonna have this, but she’ll find it. I’m guessing Walmart’s got it. Walmart’s got everything. Anyway, Joyce, I appreciate it. Thanks so much. Happy anniversary, birthday, all of that.

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: Okay, I did a little research here for Joyce. Joyce, I know you’re still listening, and we found a place for you right there in Lincoln, Nebraska. Jake’s Cigars in Lincoln, Nebraska, sells cigars and Scotch. So, Joyce, we found for you a one-stop shop: Jake’s Cigars in Lincoln, and I guarantee you that pretty much everything I suggested to you, old Jake will have. Yeah, use the offer code “RUSH” and see what it gets you, Joyce. Go to Jake’s Cigars in Lincoln and use offer code “RUSH” when you check out.

Now, Joyce… This is the 40th, did she say anniversary?

I mean, that’s big, Joyce. There is a 64-year-old Macallan that is about $460,000. Now, most of that is because it is bottled in Lalique crystal, most of what you’re paying for is the Lalique crystal bottle or container. But Macallan 64 in Lalique is 460 grand. So if you really want to splurge on a 40th anniversary. (interruption) Yeah, you’d need to sell more than a car for that. But, I mean, it’s an option.

I don’t know that Jake will have it at Jake’s Cigars in Lincoln, but use the offer code “RUSH.”