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RUSH: I was told; I had not seen the story — that I have made the Worst People in America list at the Huffing and Puffington Post. I didn’t know who else was on it and I didn’t know where I was. Well, I knew I was number ten. So naturally somebody on the staff went and looked it up and sent me the others on the list. Now, I’m number ten. Wayne LaPierre is number one. I just saw something else. Look at all these celebrities joining the gun control fight now.

Tony Bennett and Chris Rock and all these guys who have armed guards everywhere they go, armed security everywhere they go in public and probably in private as well. At any rate, you know, my New Year’s resolution was to try to be less noticed, have a lower profile, be less controversial. Here it’s only February, and I’m already number ten on the worst person list! It doesn’t say why. Well, at least what I have here doesn’t say why. It might. They didn’t send me that. Here are the people on the list: Wayne LaPierre, Chris Brown, Subway…

Is that the restaurant or is that an actual person? (interruption) It’s the restaurant. Lance Armstrong. The woman with the… Have you heard about this? The Brazilian woman who poisoned her husband? She attempted to poison her husband. Have you heard about it? This comes on the heals of this sickening story about the school in Carson, California, that was closed down. A five-year-old girl… By the way, if you’re just joining us, we don’t want to shock you here, and I’m gonna mention this again. If you don’t like discussions of a sexual nature, I’m gonna count down from five and you can turn the radio down for a minute or so.

If you don’t, you’re flying on your own here and you can’t complain because you’ve been warned, all right? Five…four…three…two…one. Folks, I don’t create the news; I don’t live the news. I’m just telling you what’s happening out there, and it is a depraved world. A five-year-old girl was performing oral sex on a four-year-old boy. The father of the boy said, “Yeah, it happened a lot.” They’ve shut down the school. It’s a Lutheran church school in Carson, California. And of course, Snerdley says, “How in the hell does this happen? Where does a five-year-old girl learn this?”

Well, one of two things. She’s seen it somewhere, or she’s the victim of sexual abuse herself. Whatever it is, it’s depraved. Five-year-old girl, four-year-old boy. And there were a number of, shall we say, victims of this treacherous five-year-old girl. Five years old! Remember how horrible you felt when a ten-year-old killed an eight-year-old twenty years ago in Chicago? Well, this is… In the meantime, while all this is going on, “We can’t let them look at pictures of guns, these kids, and we can’t let them play soldier. That’s dangerous stuff!”

The Brazilian woman who attempted to poison her husband by putting poison in her vagina and then luring him into oral sex. That woman is on the Huffing and Puffington Post’s Worst Person in the World list. Pat Robertson is on the list. Whoever started the feed on the dolphin that swam into the Gowanus Canal and didn’t die due to pollution, contrary to media reports…? Whoever did that. Ronaiah Tuiasosopo, the guy who made up the fake girlfriend for Manti Te’o. He’s on the list. The Westboro Baptist Church is on the list of the worst people in the country, and then me. I’m number ten on this list.

So that’s who’s on the list.

As I say, there’s a growth opportunity here. I’m at number ten, and this is just February.

There’s a chance, if I play my cards right, that by the end of the year I could be in the top five.

You never know.

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