Rush Limbaugh

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RUSH: Folks, over the last year, practically from the beginning when we announced TwoIfByTea.com, we have been deluged (and I mean deluged) with requests from people saying they love the tea, but they really would like one with no sugar, no sweetener. Just plain old tea. And we listened. Well, we listened the whole year. We’d go back and forth. My first reaction was, “Screw it! For crying out loud, if you want tea without sugar, go brew it yourself. Anybody can make a tea with no sweetener in it or no flavoring.”

But, of course, I saw the error of my ways, ’cause the requests kept coming in. Literally we have been deluged with people who want a Two If By Tea with no sweetener and no sugar. So we listened. And today we are thrilled to announce the latest and greatest addition to our fleet of flavors at Two If By Tea. So as of today: “Plane ‘Ol Tea.” That’s right, it’s “unsweetened,” for those of you in Port St. Lucie and Rio Linda. It is available at TwoIfByTea.com, and we have a new label that I want to show you here.

There it is. “Unsweet Plane ‘Ol Tea.” That’s me in a vintage World War II plane. Normally, I’m on a horse, as Rush Revere. But this is just Plane ‘Ol Tea. It’s a gorgeous white label, and I think it’s pretty clever, especially since it was my idea: Plane ‘Ol Tea. There you have it, and it’s as good as any of the other Two If By Teas. We went through the rigorous tasting process here. We just didn’t say, “Put together some tea and don’t put any sweetener in it.”

We actually tested the strength and the weakness and all those things, and it’s now available at TwoIfByTea.com. Now, seeing as the election is right around the corner, we figured that Rush Revere needed to pick up his place to spread the alarm and that’s why I’m in the plane here. “One If By Land, Two If by Tea” is how our brand began. So I, Rush Revere, had to temporarily trade in the faithful horse for a bomber.

Really, it’s funny. It is. I’m still dressed as Rush Revere from the 1700s, but in this airplane. Now, this could be the greatest label yet, and of course the label does signify how great what’s inside the bottle is as well. This is the perfect American-made tea for your next barbecue or your patriotic event, and now this closes the loop. We might have some additional flavors coming, but here it is by popular demand: Plane ‘Ol Tea with no sugar. And, of course, as always, we remain a proud sponsor of the Marine Corps-Law Enforcement Foundation.

This is an incredible organization that works tirelessly to provide scholarships and a future for the children of fallen heroes lost in combat or in domestic tragedies like 9/11. Now, I have to warn you: There’s just a limited supply of Plane ‘Ol Tea right now. We are bottling even as we speak. But the demand on this is gonna be very, very high. And if we run out today or this week, be patient, because we are continuing to bottle.

But it is available for order now at TwoIfByTea.com.

By the way, while I have you here and am talking about this, this is also something that we’re getting a lot of requests for: We are opening up our distribution channels to you. If you would like to be part of Two If By Tea and spread the alarm by offering Two If By Tea in your personal mom-and-pop store, or your restaurant, or your chain of stores… See, we have always wanted to maintain direct contact with our customers, which is one of the reasons why we haven’t shipped a bunch of this stuff off to distributors and lost control of it or put it in all the grocery stores.

So what we thought we would do is simply sell large orders. If you want large orders, if you want to put it in your restaurant or in your mom-and-pop store or your mom-and-pop chain or whatever, there’s a Large Order Inquiry Form at TwoIfByTea.com. It’s right under the “SHOP” tab. You might want a large order or truckload for your next party. You could do it that way as well. But if you want to resell it, we’re interested in talking to you about it at TwoIfByTea.com.

Look for the Large Order Inquiry Form under the “SHOP” tab.

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