Rush Limbaugh

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RUSH: Ladies and gentlemen, the verdict is in, and I say this with great pride. I had hoped this would be the case. It was the case in our house, but our brand-new tea has been out there now ten days. We introduced this tea to the world on Wednesday, June the 15th. It’s now been nine or ten days, and the tea has exceeded all the projections and expectations that we had. We were very realistic about it, by the way, too. That’s the one thing we are is that we are: We are profoundly honest with ourselves, talking about projections and so forth. But this tea is the best iced tea you have ever tasted — and I say this with entire confidence. I thought it when we finished all the taste tests.

Why would I think otherwise? We spent two months taste testing this stuff. I can’t tell you the number of recipes we tried or mixtures, with the various levels of sweetener and how much tea, dealing with whatever aftertastes that might incur. It was a monthly process, a multiple-month process — and the things that we were insistent on at the end of it was whatever flavor, be it regular or raspberry (and there will be additional flavors come down the pike) you better be able to still taste the tea in it. We’re not making fruit juice here! This is tea, ’cause we happen to love tea. We have regular and diet, in raspberry and regular flavors. There, as I said, are more to come.

I’m violating my own tenet. I said I wasn’t gonna hype one particular flavor because we would have a run on it. People would go after what I liked. But I have never tasted a better tea than our diet raspberry. The sugared raspberry is not high fructose corn syrup, either. It’s sugar. The sugared version of raspberry tastes just like the diet version, just like the regularly sweetened, standard tea. It tastes just like the diet tea — and now we’re getting e-mail feedback from people who have had the tea delivered, they have tasted it, they’ve sampled it. They’re sending us pictures of what they’re doing. This is exactly as I thought. They’re not throwing the bottles away. They’re using the bottles for flowers and any number of things.

Because the artwork is the finest that you will see in any tea that’s out there. The packaging, the shrink wrap, the tea itself, there’s nothing better. We’re jazzed about this! It’s called Two If By Tea: T-W-O. You know, “One if by land, Two If By Tea.” We have so much stuff planned as this rollout continues, but it’s primarily for sale at our website TwoIfByTea.com — and there you’ll find the answers to a lot of questions you have about why this and why now. You will also find the price: $23.76. The shipping is free, and let me say something about that. You know, ’cause you wouldn’t believe the number of snide comments even from friends who think they know how we’re running the business. “Hey, Rush, it’s really clever of you to say ‘free shipping.’ With ‘free’ people think that they’re actually not paying for it. It’s really clever the way you’ve done it.”

Folks, we did a lot of research here. You know, tea, beverages are primarily purchased at the store. You walk in, you walk down the aisle, there’s the beverage you want (or not), then you walk out with it. Well, we’re not gonna get shelf space in all 50 states in every town at first. We’re not even gonna try that. That’s a whole different game. So here we are on the cutting edge, doing something in the unusual and nonconformist way. We got a beverage, and you don’t get it the minute you pay for it! You have to wait for it to be delivered. It’s, “How do we price point this stuff so that we don’t take a bath on it on all plus the shipping and everybody works out that we still have a price that people will pay?”

It’s actually been kind of fun to put this all together, but the entire shipping price is not built in. I’m not gonna go into a whole lot of detail here but we are doing a lot of things here public service-wise, customer service-wise that enhance the value here. Most important is the tea itself. It’s just delicious. It’s sold in 12-packs, and there are no returns. (laughs) We knew people would try that: Take a sip of one bottle and send it back. No returns, folks. We’re not gonna take back returns. You won’t want to return it. You are going to be chugging it! Don’t even think about returns. TwoIfByTea.com. There’s also a phone number if you don’t have a computer or you don’t like ordering on computers. The telephone number is 866-662-1776. We’re gonna send a refrigerated Two If By Tea truck into some winner’s town and we’re gonna provide the Fourth of July barbecue and picnic with free Two If By Tea.

People are submitting entries on our website as to why their community deserves it. To register, go to TwoIfByTea.com. That does not mean that your applications are lacking. We are just keeping it open for as thousands and thousands of these pouring in. We’re not gonna tell you how, but we’re gonna make a determination as to who wins. So the opportunity to register for a truckload of Two If By Tea for your town on Fourth of July still wide open at TwoIfByTea.com, as are general over-the-counter sales via the website at TwoIfByTea.com. It is time to start thinking about Fourth of July and afternoon barbecues, and this tea will be perfect, and if you serve it to the people who have not tasted it, they are going to absolutely freak and love it because I’m telling you it is the best iced tea you’ve tasted. You won’t put it down once you’ve opened it up, and you won’t throw the bottle away. You’re gonna find a way to want to keep the shrink wrap that it comes in. You’re gonna want to keep every aspect of this product as close by as you can.


RUSH: Our Fourth of July contest open ’til June the 29th at six p.m. You have until six p.m. on June 29th to fill out the form at TwoIfByTea.com to explain to us why your town’s the best town to receive a truckload of chilled refrigerated Two If By Tea for your Fourth of July bash. And then we’ll announce the winner on July 1st, right here on this program.


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