Rush Limbaugh

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“What must it be like to be Algore? The guy is telling one of the biggest lies in the history of American politics.”

“This Dem subpoena effort is political, it is a witch hunt, and it’s a desire to find a crime. And I’ll tell you what else: the reason that Leahy wants these people — Rove and Harriet Miers — under oath is to set a perjury trap. He wants to pull a Patrick Fitzfong on them.”

“So this guy was found guilty in April of 2005 of felony mistreatment of an animal after he killed a horse with the intention of having sex with it. The judge said, ‘This type of behavior is disturbing. It’s disturbing to the public, it’s disturbing to the court.’ Really?”

“How does Mr. Snerdley ‘diss’ you when you call? This is the first I’ve heard of this. But, you know what — after hearing about this I think Snerdley deserves a raise, frankly.”

“Every timewe get one of these ‘ugly’ stories, there’s a very logical question: Who decides who’s ugly or not? It’s a valid question, but the answer is simple: The ugly know who they are. They have to look in the mirror, too.”

“I’m holding here between my formerly nicotine-stained fingers an official Arnold Schwarzenegger cigar. I received it today via overnight courier; it’s complete with the office of the governor of California seal and he autographed it inside. I’ll report back on the quality of the cigar as the program unfolds today.”

“The Global Warming Stack — I’m convinced it’s making love to itself because it just keeps growing. It’s getting to the point where we could do a whole show on it, but, of course, that would be overkill.”

“I have to take a break and get away from all these people thinking I’m in trouble again. I’m not in trouble, and even if I am, I’m not in trouble for anything legitimate. And I can take the heat. What the hell — you people out there need to relax!”

“So Gore wouldn’t take this energy-saving pledge. In essence, he was saying: ‘I’m not going to change my life. That’s up to you plebes to do. I’m the leading snake oil salesman in this hoax, and that’s what gives me my power.'”

“The bottom line is: You mess with Mrs. Bill Clinton, and you watch out. You have to love Big Brother! You can’t just obey!”


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