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“If you don’t like barbecue, you’re not one of us.”
“The left cannot accept the fact that Obama is dropping in the polls because of his radical views, because of his screw-ups, because of that ill-fated trip to Europe. No, no, no; can’t be any of that because he’s the perfect candidate! Blessed by God are we to have Obama in our midst (so says Nancy Pelosi)!”
“I also have a little bit of a desire for Obama to choose Evan Bayh as veep. Can you imagine the name of that ticket — Obama-Bayh? Bye-bye, Obama-Bayh!”
“MSNBC is replacing Dan Abrams with Rachel Maddow, a failed liberal radio talk show host with no proven experience garnering an audience at all. It’s gotta be humiliating to be replaced by someone who has more testosterone than you do.”
“Obama said yesterday, ‘McCain doesn’t know what he’s up against.’ I’m tell you what: Obama doesn’t know what he’s up against — and that is his past.”
“Obama lobbied for infanticide and doesn’t have the guts to admit when he’s wrong, for one thing. I think McCain not only knows who he is, he knows who and what he is up against when he sees the man child, Obama: pure arrogance.”
“We are not going to have a windmill farm on top of the EIB Building in Midtown Manhattan. Just not going to happen.”
“I know what Obama could say to explain the discovery of his half-brother who lives in a hut: ‘He’s my green brother.'”
“‘Olympic legend Michael Phelps will appear on boxes of Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes, a cereal loaded with sugar. This has drawn sharp criticism from health experts worried about the message he’ll be sending to children across America.’ You know what message Michael Phelps sends to people? ‘Get off your ass and work!'”
“Heidi Klum, that great philosopher. I’ve read a lot of her work.”