“MC-LEF gave me a first-time-ever award last night, but I can’t tell you what it is andI can’t show it to you. Loosely describe it? Hmm. It’s a guy thing, folks. It involves brass and a pair. You got it? Okay.”
“Charlie Rangel said, ‘At least the Clintons stay married.’ Yeah, Hillary stayed married for political advantage to a serial adulterer, who also committed sex acts with cigars in the Oval Office with a girl young enough to be his daughter. Does that not embarrass you, Democrats?”
“They say Mrs. Clinton ‘hasn’t had a scandal.’ If Norman Hsu is not a scandal, if the Chinatown story is not a scandal, if her illegal phone taps of ‘bimbos’ when her husband ran for president is not a scandal, perhaps the word ‘scandal’ is the new taboo.”
“What are you saying, John? Are you saying the Drive-Bys are exaggerating the California fires story? Now, why would you think they would do that? I mean, we had examples of accurate and truthful reporting during the disaster that was Hurricane Katrina — A-hem!”
“Big news, ladies and gentlemen. It’s a Reuters story, but we had to go to a Swiss website to find it: ‘Violence in Iraq has dropped by 70% since the end of June.’Ta-da!”
“The truth about the US economy on any given day of the week is that there has never been a country with this much prosperity, this level of a standard of living, and this kind of opportunity for all citizens. We are truly blessed.”
“This stupid cable is too damn long! I keep stepping on the damn cable! Almost ripped it out of the jack here just a moment ago! Uh, did I just lose my composure there? Did I say anything besides ‘stupid’? I said ‘damn’? Well, that’s all right.”
“As you know, your host is in the process of another mini-smear. It is centered around the false allegation that I attacked this 12-year-old kid, Graeme Frost. Yeah, we’re hoping Pelosi will send a letter about this, but she’s in deep doo-doo with her own people.”
“Mrs. Clinton said, ‘We’ve had challenges, as everybody in the world knows. But I never doubted that it was a marriage worth investing in.’ Okay. ‘Invested’? Does this sound like the language of love?”