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“Joe Biden wets himself when Palin’s name is mentioned, and Obama isn’t any better.”

“Some of the things that I have heard Obama say on the campaign trail over the weekend… I’m beginning to question not just this whole messiah thing, but what’s genuinely up there between the ears.”

“Why in the world would I feel pessimistic or defeated? My parents wouldn’t understand my life. They wouldn’t believe it! It is blessed. I’ve got nothing to complain about.”

“Don’t just ask; do something! Look at Sarah Palin. Can you believe this? She’s where she is today because she decided she had to go to a PTA meeting to straighten out her kids’ school. You know how many potential Sarah Palins there are out there doing just that?”

“There is no way that MSNBC can define itself as a success… unless you want to say that they make more people mad with genuine, irrational, insane stupidity every night than any network ever has.”

“I’m all for shaking up Washington, but not in how it’s presented in a political campaign. I want to shake up Washington by getting as many liberals out of there as possible.”

“Poor old Chris Matthews. I know he’s in the tank and I know he gets tingling things in his leg when he sees Obama, but this poor guy has a respectable Sunday morning show. Well, compared to MSNBC, it’s respectable.”

“I think Kim Jong Il must be terribly ill because he never misses the gay pride parade, which is held every year in North Korea in Judy Garland Memorial Park in Pyongyang.”

“Once again, ladies and gentlemen: 30 lawyers and opposition research people are in Alaska digging for dirt on Sarah Palin. We just have to remind everybody here that no personal attack ever lowered the price of gasoline or added a point to the gross domestic product.”

“You shouldn’t have worried about the Secret Service talking to you, Curt. This is not the Clinton administration.”

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“President Obama said he will find programs that we don’t need and cut them. And I guarantee you he will: It’s called, ‘The Pentagon’.”

“Did you know that in the Obama stimulus package, $4.19 billion is going to ACORN? Would somebody tell me what the stimulus is in that? I’ll tell you what’s going on here, ladies and gentlemen: We are funding the Democrat Party’s street army.”

“I fully believe that I’m going to be on the opposite side of 99% of the people, but that’s okay because I am the one who resists the tug of popular sentiment.”

“What is the correct conservative response to Starbucks accepting delivery of their new corporate jet? ‘None of our business.’ It certainly isn’t any of Obama’s business.”

“My financial guy says I have ‘X’ in my portfolio, but I’m pretending I have nothing because I have Barack Obama and Democrats who are going to figure out how to take every bit of it from me.”

“I’ve said it constantly: When you take freebies, it’s not free. When somebody gives you something, they’re always going to want something back.”

“There is a war going on. There are casualties in this war, and I’m going to tell you what this war is: This is the Obama war on prosperity. Forty thousand jobs, dead in one day.”

“That’s one of the greatest comments from a woman about football I have heard: ‘I don’t want it to be over.’ Most women say that about their relationships, but you said it about a football game, Jane. That’s fabulous.”

“After debacle after debacle after debacle, the question still arises: ‘How can people have such faith in government to fix things?’ And the answer, frustratingly, is: ‘There are just too many people now to whom big government means big benefits.'”

“Carl Levin and Jennifer Granholm… they’re really doing a lot for Michigan, aren’t they?”

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“The war on Obama is the war on ignorance, and I’m telling you, ignorance is the most expensive commodity that we have in this country.”

“We don’t have a Constitution anymore. Do you realize that if they can just singularly disregard the Constitution with this 90% retroactive tax on bonus payments, they can discard the Constitution anytime they want?”

“The Obama administration gets to make taxes high, they get to make regulations impossible, they get to make unions strong, and then when your company fails, they can go in and seize it. They’re raising the odds against success with every passing day.”

“What the ignorant do when they don’t have their demands realized is they get on buses and start harassing executives in Connecticut with the full sponsorship of an organization bought and paid for and groomed by President Obama: ACORN.”

“Nobody has a sense of humor anymore. We have no appreciation of sarcasm, cynicism, any of these things. Poor old Don Rickles… no wonder you never see him on TV anymore.”

“You see, blunt, tough talk often is what you get from honest people, and smooth, evasive straw man arguments emanate from dishonest people. Unfortunately, however, that’s confusing to the governed because of their ignorance.”

“Obama wants to control the compensation of all non-bank executives, too. Now, why would a leftist authoritarian want that power? Well, if you control executive compensation, then you have the right to take over the economy’s central nervous system, do you not?”

“I think the Democrats everywhere are really scared of what I am saying because I think they are scared to death that articulate conservatism might flip these states back to red from blue.”

“I get e-mails from people all the time: ‘Rush, what would you suggest as a reading list so that I can understand conservatism?’ You don’t need a reading list. You need just one book, and I would recommend you getting this book for yourself and buying extra copies to give away: Mark Levin’s Liberty and Tyranny.”

“Our opposition to Obama is indeed based on N-O! We say no to socialism! What’s negative about that?”

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“The smallest minority on earth is the individual, and I dare say that in this country today there’s no one looking out for the individual, other than me.”

“I have to show where I am 14 different ways every day of the year because I pay per diem taxes in New York City when I work there. So I try to limit those days, but they just come at me every year. The latest audit has been going on for six months — try the legal fees on that. It’s pure harassment!”

“After Tim Geithner sets the salaries of the employees — not just the executives — at companies that took TARP money, why stop there? Why not just establish whatever salaries they think are appropriate for everybody that has a job?”

“Polls say Obama’s approval numbers are through the roof, that people love what he’s doing with the economy. Maybe we have descended into a nation that sort of loves the concept of soft tyranny.”

“I would never presume to tell you what car you have to drive; that’s not in my nature. The only thing I would say is, you know, don’t be an idiot and buy a hybrid because you think you’re saving the planet.”

“The disagreement on this show with practically every element of Obama’s agenda is based on one thing: We do not want to lose the liberty and freedom that we were born with that has made this the greatest country on earth.”

“When you vote for politicians who take from your back pocket to give to others, do you think it’s compassionate? Do you think it’s caring? It’s not. It’s depriving the recipient of his own quest for self-interest.”

“I would define the common good as everybody acting as an individual, born as he or she is, pursuing self-interest. That built cities. That built a great country. That built railroads and engines. People denying who they are did not.”

“Health care is about to become a huge crisis, too. Don’t be surprised if you see a bunch of horror stories start popping up in the press about that, because, you see, we can’t have this kind of massive change without a villain.”

“We are Venezuela in the early years.”

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“Democracy doesn’t belong only to the leftist agitators — it also belongs to the people who pay the bills and make this country work.”

“I’m going to tell you what, folks. The Democrats in this country are now dripping with contempt for the public, and they do so at their own political peril, by the way. These Democrats, if they show this contempt too much, are going to pay big time.”

“The Democrat Party now has a new slogan for the American people: ‘Screw you!’ Actually, that has been their modus operandi for as long as I’ve been alive, but now they’re out there actually saying it in so many words.”

“David Axelrod invented Astroturfing. This is not to be confused, however, with the genuine astroturf Bill Clinton bragged about having in the flatbed of his El Camino.”

“Obama had the Democrats over for lunch today, and apparently he gave them a Knute Rockne-like pep talk: ‘Go to the town halls! Go out there and lie, lie, lie!'”

“Helen Thomas and Obama have the same birthday, and Obama said that Helen wished for health care reform. Helen, you’re 89. Be careful what you’re wishing for here.”

“That Obama/Joker poster ought to be framed and hung in a museum. It’s art, after all, isn’t it? And maybe somebody ought to write a book about Obama. It could be called, ‘Barack Obama is a Big-Eared Idiot’.”

“Obama’s lying about his attempt to jam socialized medicine down our throats. This isn’t hardball politics. This is the Bernie Madoff method of taking money under false pretenses.”

“This campaign of fraud and deceit is exactly why the American people are up in arms, and it’s exactly why Democrats are looking at all of you with deep contempt. This wasn’t part of the plan. The American people weren’t supposed to figure this all out, they were just supposed to bow down and say, ‘Thank you for caring about us.'”

“There’s a blueprint for how to get an economy going again. It’s called, ‘Get out of the way of the American people’.”

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“It’s not the participants at these town halls that are causing the problems. It’s the lying members of Congress who don’t have the answers.”

“Barack Obama may indeed, right before our very eyes, be destroying the Democrat Party. In fact, the whole Democrat Party might be committing suicide, and the only thing that might be able to save them is if ACORN can rig enough elections in November of 2010.”

“Chuck Norris has done something that nobody at NBC has done. Chuck Norris has done something that nobody at ABC has done. Chuck Norris has done something that nobody at CBS has done. He has read the health care bill.”

“No matter how brilliant you are and no matter how often you are right, there’s something about living, working, and breathing inside the Beltway that makes you unable to have a perspective identical to people who are living and working outside that place.”

“My comment, ‘I hope he fails’… I wasn’t surprised I was, you know, out on a limb by myself on that. But, look: that’s what being on the cutting edge of societal evolution is all about. It’s what being a pioneer is all about. It’s what being fearless is all about.”

“I love getting calls from people who disagree with me on this program. It is a delight to open somebody up to the truth, to get through the cocoon in which they have sheltered themselves.”

“David, I’ve been engaging in the Mort Kondracke-preferred way of responding to you, and that is, when somebody’s making a fool of themselves, you stand out of the way and let it happen without any vitriol or argument. But you really are clueless.”

“Arlen Specter saidtoday that the health care plan is going to be deficit neutral. They’re at the point now where they’re literally grabbing globs of excrement, throwing it up against the wall, and hoping some of it sticks.”

“When you — as the president of the United States — have to tell the country that you are not in favor of death panels and that you’re not going to pull the switch on grandma, you’ve lost control.”

“The people who we have elected to serve us are showing their true colors. They are rude, they are filled with contempt for their constituents, they’re condescending, and they are stonewalling.”

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“Fascism is where the private sector still owns what it owns, but the politicians run it — and fascism is exactly what we’re getting under Barack Obama.”

“You want to hear the most ridiculous headline of the day? Here it is from The Politico: ‘Obama Vows Further Deficit Cutting.’ When are these people in the media going to understand this is not a game?”

“Tell me, is your life better off now than it was a year ago? After all of these rescues began? After all of these bailouts?”

“I’m going to tell you what this is all about. This is about Bill Ayers getting his work done by Barack Obama and Eric Holder. Ayer’s has a guy in the White House pulling this off if we really are going to investigate people who saved American lives.”

“Snerdley, is this mark a new development in my career? To be singled out in a rap song by the famous rapper Jay-Z? I guess it is. I guess this means I’ve made it.”

“I checked the e-mail during the break: ‘What a great hour! What a great opening!’ Folks, you might think it was good, and I appreciate that, but it upsets me. I don’t like having a president about whom I say, ‘I don’t think this guy likes America.'”

“Obama says he ‘brought our economy back from the brink’ on the very day he announces deficits of $9 trillion over the next ten years. Good Lord. How about your job? How is that hope and change working for you?”

“Senator McCain, please let the Democrats go down in flames justonce when they’re in the process of doing it — don’t bail ’em out! Oh, this silly, misguided notion that what the American people want is bipartisanship!”

“I don’t know what people are talking about. This is BS. I played high school football. I had twice-a-day practices. I’ve done my share of exercise in my life, and I’m telling you, I’ve never felt one damn endorphin.”

“I like seeing Obama and his party commit political suicide; I really do. But the problem with that is: What expires first? Our country or the Democrat Party?”

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“Guess what? Faisal Shahzad is a registered Democrat. I wonder if his SUV had an Obama sticker on it.”

“Mayor Bloomberg, you’re an absolute blithering, embarrassing idiot. If you’re going to try to relate this to modern politics, tell us that this Muslim from Pakistan is upset over the Arizona law — health care is yesterday’s news.”

“Wouldn’t it be nice if we had our ‘boot on the throat’ of Muslim extremists, just like we have ourboot on BP, a company that is attempting to produce energy for us to improve our lifestyle and our economic output and our standard of living?”

“If you see something, say something — unless you see it in Arizona. Then you shut up.”

“So here’s Obama praising ordinary citizens for reporting suspicious activity to the authorities, but what if the T-shirt vendor guy had been wrong? Would the T-shirt vendor guy then be facing charges of profiling, as in a hate crime?”

“As far as this regime isconcerned, for every problem, there is not a solution, but there is a villain — unless Muslim terrorists are involved.”

“I’ll bet the media jumps on this mortgage angle and tries to justify Shahzad’s radicalism because he was ruined by Bush housing. In fact, I’ll bet you they’ll say this poor guy was tricked into a mortgage he couldn’t afford. In fact, I’ll bet you I could even make myself feel sorry for him before this show is over.”

“Faisal Shahzad had ties with militants. He was at a training camp. Now, I did not know that the Taliban had training camps for Americans who have been foreclosed on — can you believe that?”

“Would somebody explain to me why Obama has a reputation for competence when he’s never done anything? The closest experience he has to this oil rig is Bill Ayers, because his buddy, Bill Ayers, knows how to blow things up!”

“Twenty-one years and it never stops. They never debate me on what I actually say. They have to lie about things I didn’t say to try and discredit me.”

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“By the way, Lindsay Lohan’s going to jail. Okay, can we be done with it now?”

“You don’t need Shirley Sherrod, or whatever her name is, to prove racism at the NAALCP. All you need to know is that Jeremiah Wright’s a featured speaker at the NAALCP.”

“The media lives and exists for each other. You and I are three times as informed as the so-called veneered fourth estate. You and I know more about what’s going on in this country than they do, and they are the ones with the arrogant condescension looking down on all of us.”

“Is it just me, or does it seem a tad off key to publicly demand extending unemployment benefits during your Summer of Recovery? That sounds like an admission of failure. Call me crazy.”

“I have people who just inundate me with e-mails: ‘Rush, you need to point out how the media is X and the media is Y.’ What have I been doing for 20 years? Have you not been listening? If you don’t think I’m explaining it right, go get your own radio show.”

“Isn’t it time to learn to laugh at Obama and mock him? He is not God’s greatest gift. He is not God. He is not The Messiah. He is an ineffective, incompetent man-child.”

“I’ll bet Michelle Obama can still throw a baseball better than Barack can. I’ll bet if we saw videotape, we’d all come to that conclusion.”

“There’s a song out there by Harold Melvin & Blue Notes that goes: ‘If you don’t know me by now, you’ll never, never, never, never, ever know me.’ Well, Obama ought to be laughing and singing that to every damn reporter in the White House pressroom.”

“The media story line is that the Democrats want extended unemployment benefits, and the Republicans don’t. But that’s not the story. The story is, how the hell are we going to pay for this? And the substory is, at what point does unemployment compensation become welfare?”

“Everybody knows that chocolate will melt in Mexico.”

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“Tomorrow is Obama’s birthday. Not that we’ve seen any proof of that, but tomorrow is Obama’s birthday.”

“Maxine Waters, in a statement released yesterday, said, ‘I have not violated any House rules.’ Who the hell is she kidding? She violated the most important House ethics rule of all — she got caught!”

“Everybody’s falling for this notion that there’s Muslim outreach going on with this Ground Zero mosque. No, they’re planting the flag of victory with this mosque; that’s what they’re doing.”

“If you saw Woody Allen’s movie Sleeper, you’ll know that the busybodies depicted in that movie are exactly who we’re talking about here on the New York City Landmarks Commission. They are women with the body of a crab and the head of a social worker. That’s just the best way to describe it.”

“Treasury secretary Timothy Geithner is a genuine egghead. Have you seen this guy’s head? Genuine shape of an egg. There’s something not right about it. Of course, you’re not supposed to notice these things.”

“We open the floodgates to the ill-educated, uneducated, and uninformed, and there’s a reason for this: It’s much easier to turn the ill-educated, uneducated, and uninformed into Democrats, because that’s who votes for them anyway.”

“The American Civil Liberties Union praised the Ground Zero mosque, saying it represents the core of American values. Represents the core of American values. Well, if the ACLU thinks it, so does Obama.”

“Dan, the day that Donovan McNabb was traded to the Washington Redskins, did the sun come up the next day in Philadelphia?”

“If I’m Obama, I’m feeling pretty good about what I’ve been able to destroy here in just 18 months. I mean, if wiping out the American capitalist system is the objective, and if it’s going to cost your political party a bunch of seats for a while, go for it — it’s worth the price.”

“Snerdley once had a crush on Suzanne Malveaux.”

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“Republicans must continue to pursue repeal of the whole Obamacare law. None of this, ‘Well, there are parts of it that we like.’ Forget that. No deals, no negotiations. Kill it.”

“The New Castrati is saying, ‘Well, we have two other federal judges who said that Obamacare is constitutional. What about that, what about that, what about that?’ Here’s the true answer, and don’t doubt me: it means nothing.”

“This is not an occasion to look for common ground. This is an occasion to build upon a decision that rules the fundamental building block of Obama’s reason to be president unconstitutional.”

“Mr. New Castrati, if they can force us to buy health insurance, they can force us to buy broccoli. Once you get this in your head that they can force us to buy health insurance, what’s to stop them from making us buy a stupid electric car?”

“I’ll tell you, Judge Vinson’s reference to the original Tea Party was just a really great poke in the eye to the Democrats and the media. I mean, he could’ve cited any number of examples, but totake that one… That was just, ‘I’m gonna jam this in the nearest orifice I can find, and I’m not stopping!'”

“Obama’s a constitutional scholar, folks. Or, more properly, he taught how to subvert the Constitution to a bunch of ACORN-types when he was in Chicago.”

“I’m getting e-mails, ‘What about Punkin, what about Punkin? Are her feelings hurt? My gosh, you never even talk about her anymore!’ Okay! All right! I’ll tell you about Punkin!”

“From the Jerusalem Post: ‘A leading member of the Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt told an Iranian news network that he would like to see the Egyptian people prepare for war against Israel.’ This is a peaceful bunch of people, right?”

“I’m not sure whether to laugh or cry about this, folks: ‘According to the White House, Janet Napolitano briefed Obama this morning on government preparations for the latest bout of winter weather.’ Why doesn’t he just mandate everybody go out and buy a snowplow?”

“Yeah, The Haney Project is sort of like the health care bill: you have to watch it to find out what’s in it.”

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“Thank God for men like Donald Rumsfeld.”

“Holy cow, folks! Who would have thought that you could make as much money setting up a liberal wet job website as you could by marrying and divorcing a rich guy? I’m talking Zsa Zsa Huffington here.”

“By the way, Keith Olberdorkk, who left MSNBC, is going to Algore’s cable channel, Current TV. I just have one piece of advice for the people at Fox: Don’t ever talk about what goes on over there, and nobody will ever hear about it.”

“Judging from my e-mail, it’s apparent that the reason I thought the halftime show at the Super Bowl was good was precisely because I could not hear the lyrics or any of the performances.”

“If the Obama presidency had a subtitle, it would be, ‘Line up here for your benefits.'”

“I’m shocked. Yesterday I sent Steyn a whole bunch of things to convey about the Super Bowl and I’m told he never got to it. I thought he would have covered it all by now.”

“I mean, for crying out loud, folks, Obama having a ‘JFK moment’? It’s more like a Bill Clinton moment with the media playing the role of Monica Lewinsky. Yes, you heard me right.”

“I have to tell you, folks: Obama lecturing America’s businesses about how to direct their profits… How do we sit here with a straight face?”

“I don’t know about you, folks, but especially after I met Donald Rumsfeld for the first time and found out what kind of man he is, it just infuriated me to listen to people in this country try to destroy him. Same with George W. Bush.”

“Me and Aaron Rodgers sit down for a beer summit? I’d do that.”

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