“You know what the burning question is in Detroit today, folks? It’s whether or not their mayor will be out of jail in time to campaign for Obama.”
“If you’re in a bar anywhere, and you see an attractive woman, and you think she’s a liberal and you want to get to first base (or maybe further), just go up and start talking about ‘alternative energy’ or ‘renewables’ — you will not be able to get rid of her!”
“A little girl asks you a question: ‘Why did you start running for president?’ It’s a 7-year-old, Senator Obama! You do not lie to 7-year-olds and tell them that our country sucks!”
“America is no longer ‘what it could be, what it once was’? How the hell would you know, Obama? Your experience has only been in one part of America: elite, leftist academia. Oh, and with Jeremiah Wright.”
“Hillary said something to the effect of, ‘We don’t want anybody at the convention walking away saying they’re unsatisfied.’ Now, how the hell could that happen when they’re nominating a messiah?”
“I’m sitting here in stunned disbelief: The Republican presidential nominee, John McCain, has actually criticized the Democrat nominee. Make a note on your calendars, my friends: August 7th, 2008.”
“With Senator Obama, we can’t have any new oil in our energy plan. No: it has to be something that hasn’t been invented yet and that doesn’t work, but that we can still waste a whole lot of money on.”
“Nancy Pelosi, the most powerful woman in Washington, DC, the Speaker of the House, has only sold 2,000 books. You want to know the real America? I think this is it.”
“McCain did a set visit to the show ’24’; he did a little cameo role in it a couple years ago. I wonder if he met Dennis Haysbert: ‘You know, I really admire the way you handled that crisis in episode six. Anything you can share with me about how tough it was?’ ‘Yeah, well, Senator, we didn’t get it right ’til the tenth take.'”
“Michelle (My Belle), elitism doesn’t even begin to describe your husband. ‘Messianic complex’ does.”
“This is basically the Democrat Party platform, summed up here in one sentence: ‘Screw the America that we’ve always known.'”
“I’m sure at some point in his young life Obama was like every other normal little kid with four half brothers and a father with four wives. But somewhere, somehow, somebody got a hold of him, and he has absorbed poison ever since from radical leftists who do not like this country.”
“Nobody at that convention could describe Obama’s accomplishments because there aren’t any. His real accomplishment is learning the art of Chicago thug politics.”
“I multitask. I can listen to Democrats lie through their teeth, get frustrated as hell about it, and still track hurricanes.”
“Now, from this story, ladies and gentlemen, we have to assume that simply breaking a nose would not be good enough for Mother Biden. No, she insisted upon little Joey Biden drawing blood. You have to respect that.”
“Biden doesn’t even know the difference between a brigade and a battalion, and neither does anybody else in the Obama campaign who wrote his speech, but we’re supposed to trust Obama’s judgment and not trust McCain’s?”
“Joe Biden is worse than your boss. He is your coworker stabbing you in the back to get himself advanced. Plus, he has this insufferable arrogance at the same time.”
“Bill Clinton said Obama was everything and a bag of chips. Big deal. Bill is a convicted liar. Bill is a serial cheater. By the way, can you imagine John Edwards watching this thing last night?”
“Let me tell you, you Democrats and Drive-Bys: you better be very careful rooting for the hurricane to hit New Orleans here, because we have a very competent governor now who can tell that loco-weed mayor in New Orleans how to do it right, and his name is Bobby Jindal.”
“I was blowing up at home last night. The cat wasn’t safe. I had to close the door to the library. I couldn’t handle all the lies.”
“Senator Obama is acting no different than a 1950s segregationist trying to stoke racial hatred.”
“These people in Washington do not realize that money is produced by one thing: the collective work and productivity of the American people. If the American people didn’t work or pay confiscatory taxes, that big pile of money wouldn’t be there. These people in Washington produce nothing — they just gum up the private sector.”
“Obama’s running a two-tier campaign — Chicago tactics behind the scenes, new politics imagery in front of the cameras — but there can be no mistake who he is now: just an average Chicago thug.”
“The reaction to the hacking of Palin’s e-mail account is stunning. The Drive-Bys are not upset about this at all. In fact, get this headline: ‘Palin’s e-mail habits echo worst practices of Bush administration, expert says.’ Do we live in a sick era, or what?”
“This is not the time for Senator McCain to tell Governor Palin to start bashing Wall Street; it’s time to bash the Democrats. I beg of you in the McCain campaign: let Sarah be Sarah.”
“There you have it: Daniel Mudd. I mean, I have never heard somebody kiss ass in public like this in my life. Well, I may have. I just don’t remember it.”
“I wrote a Wall Street Journal op-ed this morning, and they liked it. It’s about 700 words, which they also love; they love you coming in under the word count. So I told them, ‘Brevity is the soul of wit.'”
“I have made an executive decision. On Monday, we will have for broadcast on this program Spanish language translations of my April 6, 2006, Morning Update for Spanish-speaking peoples across the country. Si se puede!”
“Obama has been running commercials saying that McCain wants to overturn Roe vs. Wade, which would prevent women from getting abortions. Now, if that ever happened, it would mean that the states would decide the issue. This guy is supposed to be a constitutional scholar and know this, but he’s a pathological liar.”
“Sarah Palin would kill for my legs.”
“Whether you agree with what’s about to happen here, McCain and Bush acted like leaders while Obama acted like a poser.”
“For me it boils down to, ‘Who do you trust?’ Do you trust Paulson? Do you trust Barney Frank? Do you trust Chris Dodd? Do you trust McCain? Do you trust Obama? I’ll tell you who you trust: you trust conservatism.”
“The Uncivil War is back in the Democrat Party. Bill Clinton is dropping neutron bombs all over the place against Obama, and Obama, I’m sure, did not know who he was messing with when he dissed Hillary for the vice presidential nomination.”
“Obama thinks he’s citizen of the world. I think, perhaps, he could be the first pure socialist leader that we’ve ever had, and he’s making no bones about it.”
“Obama wanted to put out a joint statement, but joint statements don’t do anything. In fact, they are typical of Obama, who doesn’t do anything. He doesn’t take a stand on anything because he doesn’t want to have to explain it later on.”
“You talk about callous and not having the judgment to lead… Obama sounds like a guy who would remain an active member of a racist church for 20 years and not know what’s going on in there.”
“I’m very cynical about Democrats, as you know. I think their preference would be to not fix the whole thing because they thrive on chaos. That’s why Harry Reid said, ‘Stay away from here, McCain.'”
“Barack Obama said, ‘I’m sure [McCain] wishes he joined me when I blew the whistle on the fired CEOs of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac.’ Obama might have blown something on Fannie Mae, but it wasn’t a whistle, folks.”
“I knew this was going to happen: the Democrats are running ads on McCain’s age and his health. I’m waiting for the blood-in-the-stools commercial — you wait.”
“To show balance and fairness here on the EIB Network, I do agree with Obama that presidents ought to be able to do more than one thing at a time. Therefore, I would like to know what else Obama can do besides talk.”
“Republicans will pay thousands to get women into clothes, while Democrats spend thousands to get women out of their clothes.”
“Two-thirds of Iraq is now under control of Iraqi security forces; it’s a major, major victory — a major story. Unfortunately, nobody cares.”
“I just got an e-mail from a woman telling me that Hillary’s pantsuit color was not ‘pumpkin’, but ‘shell orange’. Ladies, listen: when we men saw the pantsuit that Hillary Clinton was wearing, we saw a pumpkin!”
“$150,000 is the amount of money the RNC spent on Palin. Say, do you think Steve Gobie might have raised 150 grand for male hookers in Barney Frank’s townhouse back in the 1980s?”
“I dare say that not one of the reporters or reporterettes that has put Sarah Palin under the lights could stand up twice to the treatment that she has received and still run around and smile and enjoy what she is doing.”
“The idea that these Democrats are the people who are the most tolerant and compassionate among us really offends me. Actually, it does more than that — it enrages me.”
“Obama said, ‘If you don’t put family first, you’re probably not the kind of person that’s going to be caring for other people.’ He has a half-brother living in a hut!”
“Propaganda couldn’t keep the Soviet Union afloat, and propaganda will not protect the media from collapse, either. The media, if this keeps up, will collapse of its own immorality.”
“Markets are looking for good news, and it’s not gonna come in a BS New York Times poll that says Obama’s up 15 points. The markets are dealing in reality; they see Hurricane Obama coming.”
“Employers don’t hire people for tax breaks — they hire them because they need their productivity, for crying out loud, Obama!”
“If Obama gets what he wants, there isn’t going to be a recession in 2010 — there will be a depression.”
“Does Obama just want to be president with everybody else doing all the work while he gets to be the figurehead? I mean, have we ever seen a president announce an executive order and then have his counsel explain to him what the hell the executive order is?”
“So it looks like we’re going to have another historic first in an administration: our first tax cheat secretary of the treasury.”
“For all the talk about the popularity of Obama’s inauguration, more people watched American Idol than watched his inauguration, and millions more watched Ronald Reagan’s inauguration. So, again, Reagan wins in a landslide.”
“Bush was a leader who dedicated his presidency to bringing these terrorists to justice, and now it’s all come to a shocking halt. Elections have consequences; so do actions.”
“No, Mr. Snerdley, Robert Gibbs was not part of the Bee Gees. They were ‘Gibb’. And it was Robin, Maurice, and Barry Gibb, anyway.”
“Obama’s policies succeeding do not mean success for the country, and that’s the bottom line. So I want Obama’s policies to fail — that will equal success for the country.”
“I have been getting some of the cattiest e-mails from women that I know about the curtain Michelle Obama made into a dress for the inaugural ball. Well, it did look like a drape.”
“We have one year left, supposedly, before Club Gitmo closes. Therefore, I have issued an executive order to my marketing people at the EIB Store. Will we have a new phrase: ‘Club Gitmo: When America Was Safe’.”
“The last person in line who has any responsibility for my show ending up on a PA system at a Green Bay middle school is me.”
“I have this belief that, all things being equal, the vast majority of people are capable of far more than they think they are.”
“The world didn’t come together to bring down the Berlin Wall, as Obama said. If anything, the world came together to
“There is a concept of American exceptionalism, and this guy, Obama, hates it. He doesn’t like it, doesn’t agree with it, and thinks the only thing we’re exceptional at is being bullies.”
“I just identified the Somali pirates as Muslim, but I could be wrong about that. I mean, the president said that we are not at war with Islam. Maybe they’re orthodox Jews. Well, if they aren’t Muslim, they gotta be something!”
“Obama is on these world tours ostensibly to promote US interests, but he is out there promoting himself. As I said yesterday, he’s traveling around as the world’s leader, not ours.”
“I can remember how, just 20 years ago, if Fidel Castro had endorsed you and said he wanted to do whatever he could to help you, you were finished;was the kiss of death. Not today.”
“Obama said to reporters today, ‘Guys, we’re talking about housing right now, not pirates.’ Translation: ‘There’s nothing in my teleprompter about pirates right now.'”
“I’m a huge individualist; I’m not a conformist. And when you join a union, you’re giving away your individuality. Your merit is not relevant in what you earn. That’s just not for me.”
“One of the reasons programs like this and Mark Levin’s great book are going through the roof is because capitalists do not have an elected leader. Nobody in the Republican Party is willing to stand up for capitalism. In fact, the so-called conservative intelligentsiawants us to become more like Democrats.”
“These are days when I think I’m not paid enough.”
“I never thought I’d say it, but I long for the good old days of Sam Donaldson.”
“This Chrysler bankruptcy is a huge Barack Obama failure. Well, actually, at the end of the day, it’s a dynamic success for Barack Obama. This is precisely what he wants to happen: the United Auto Workers ending up with majority control of this company.”
“Obama will pretend to love us as long as he gets what he wants, and he’s told us what he wants: he wants to ‘remake America’. When I heard that he said that last night, hello blood boiling!”
“This press conference last night underscored for me how wide open an opportunity exists for an articulate, attractive, conservative candidate to take Obama and the liberal media apart and win the White House.”
“Obama makes everybody think he’s on their side, makes everybody think that he agrees with their point of view on things, but this man is like every other liberal to come down the path: he lies.”
“The media can celebrate Obama as an effective president after a hundred days, but we can’t criticize him? We can’t point out the toilet that the country is about to be flushed down?”
“Obama has been able to slither between the lines, been able to say he stands for America’s traditions while he trashes them. And it’s not because he is so clever or so good at spin, it’s because we lack the leadership to seize the moment and call him on his phoniness.”
“So Arlen Specter left, and we’re supposed to just give up? Sorry, my friends, but I don’t buy that. For me, it’s offense, baby. Or, as Al Davis would say: ‘Just win, baby.'”
“The FBI is running around trying to find out if we have any sleeper cells in this country. Meanwhile, people at Club Gitmo are going to be released with no questions asked. That’s the Obama plan. Hope that makes you feel better, folks.”
“Get over the idea that flowers are a cop-out, that women don’t really appreciate them — they do.”
“Obama apologized to terrorists for the past eight years. You don’t win wars on defense, and you don’t win wars with apologies.”
“Only a charismatic demagogue — highly skilled in the low art of political seduction — would try to weave his personal story into a speech about national security, as if Obama’s personal story (misguided as it is) is the foundation for everything.”
“Boy these libs on these cable shows commenting on Cheney are just foaming at the mouth! The rage and anger is palpable! And I think it’s because Cheney is effective — Cheney gets results.”
“Obama’s perceived to be smart and brilliant, but what has he ever done but organize a bunch of election fraud experts over at ACORN and pal around with some dubious characters?”
“I found Cheney’s speech to be compelling, and I found Obama’s speech to be extraordinarily defensive. Obviously you people are going to think I have a bias about this, but if I have a bias, it’s towards the truth.”
“Obama said, ‘I will not endanger US national security in any decision I make.’ Well, why do you have to say that unless there’s some doubt about it?”
“While we are going to send expertise and material to help the United Arab Emirates go nuclear with their power, what the hell are we doing? We are looking
“What were you doing at a hotel in Palm Beach Gardens? Well, I’m sorry, but the story of what you were doing at a hotel ten miles from town is far more interesting than parking spaces for hybrids, Dawn!”
“These people go into Ivy League schools arrogant, and they come out of even worse. I think they hold a deep resentment for people whom they consider to be half as smart and half as educated, but who have much more money than they have.”
“Imagine being in a car that is so noisy, it’s the equivalent of putting a dog on top of a ham slicer. This is the crap that Obama Motors is going to be putting everybody in.”
“Wouldn’t you want chaos if you wanted more people to depend on government? This is a purposeful destruction of the economy by Obama.”
“I’m taking next week off, and people are already starting to give me grief: ‘How can you leave during DEFCON 1?’ It’s already DEFCON 1, folks, from now until the end of Obama time.”
“Yeah, I know, I’m fighting a little fatigue today. I was up late last night teaching the new puppy how to go up and down stairs, which means you have to put your hands on the puppy’s butt. And of course then there’s the obligatory hissing from Punkin.”
“Can you imagine all of the Chicken McNuggets you could buy with $83 million in food stamps? You could open 25 brand-new McDonald’s in Port St. Lucie and never run out of Chicken McNuggets and have to call 911.”
“Since the beginning of this country, we have celebrated Independence Day, but now we have to ask ourselves, ‘Are we heading towards Dependence Day?’ Not if I can help it!”
“When you need to worry is when I tell you one day: ‘Live! From New Zealand! It’s the Rush Limbaugh program!’ Yeah, that would be a day that I would sanction tears. But not today. Not today.”
“One of the most often asked questions to me is, ‘How in the world did Obama get elected?’ I call your attention to the story here in Florida where a guy had a nine-foot python in the house.”
“You remember the Pee-Wee Herman story? How he was caught in the back of a darkened theater having fun with himself? I thought it would be appropriate to use Beat It as the theme song for that update, and we almost lost our Kansas City affiliate over it. It took real diplomacy to hold on.”
“The best way to answer your question, Debbie, is to tell you what my dad told me when I was a boy. He said, ‘Son, the reason the news media is so stupid is because if communists ever took over this country, they’d be the first put in jail — but they think they’ll be welcomed into the inner circle’.”
“Where do they find these brain dead people at NBC? They must have an island where they grow them, like Fox grows their blondes on Bikini Island.”
“It’s not what he says; it’s how he says it. If you take away Obama’s voice, it’s like Delilah cutting Samson’s hair. He becomes a mere mortal.”
“President Obama is so race obsessed that he wrote a book about the father he never really knew, subtitled, ‘A Story of Race and Inheritance’. Then he marries a woman, and the two of them sit in Reverend Wright’s hate temple of black liberation theology for 20 years… and
“The big beer conference is at six o’clock tonight outside on the picnic table in the playground. Do we need a mojito conference for Mideast peace and the Jell-O shots conference on global warming?”
“You know who Obama reminds me of? He’s starting to remind me of Nixon walking the beaches at San Clemente in his suit and wing tips. Remember how uncool that was?”
“It’s up to you, folks. When these local yokels come back to their communities that they supposedly represent during the August recess, it is time to make them scared to death to return to Washington in the fall and vote for this thing.”
“I have no desire to stop my diet. In fact, I might even stay on it long enough that people think I have a deadly disease.”
“I’m sure many of you are wondering, ‘Okay, Rush, what are you going to do?’ Well, what I’ve always done! If I listened to every suggestion, criticism, whatever, I would have long ago been committed into a padded cell. So the sound bites stay.”
“This flap over Gates and the cop happened as a direct result of actions and words — both Gates’ actions and Obama’s words. But that doesn’t matter a hill of beans to the Magic Honky, Joan Walsh, who see blacks as perpetual victims in need of her white protection.”
“Story: ‘Regular visitors to federal buildings may have noticed recently that the familiar photographs of Bush and Cheney have been replaced with a photograph of President Obama.’ But it’s not about him.”
“Believe me, this health care plan is a bill that would make Karl Marx smile, and if he were alive, it would add ten years to his life.”
“I am proud of you people going to these town halls; I am swelling with pride watching you in action. This is American civic activism at its best.”
“From the Wall Street Journal: ‘Detroit SchoolWoes Deepen.’ How can anything in Detroit get worse? But it just keeps getting worse, and who’s been running the place for who-knows-how-many years? See what happens when you let liberals run things unchecked?”
“Robert Gibbs just said that what’s happening in these town hall meetings is not indicative of what’s happening in America. How do you say that? The town hall meetings are America!”
“I think Obama’s sendingout the elected Democrats to take all the arrows. They’re the ones getting the grief at the town halls. He just stages his, but the Democrat Party is out there getting its ass whipped by average Americans.”
“You Democrats in New Jersey, I’m going to tell you something: You are insane. There is no rational explanation for the way you vote.”
“Obama ultimately wants to play God; this messianic complex of his is genuine. And Pelosi wants to play God, Harry Reid wants to play God, and Barney Frank wants to play Godette.”
“I wouldn’t have the chutzpah to stand up and tell 300 million people that I know what’s best for them in anything, but particularly health care. I mean, the hubris, the ego, the arrogance, and the conceit of this guy — whose career spans all of five minutes.”
“Tina Brown has a sympathetic piece about Hillary today on her website, saying she’s away from home, she ‘feels fat’. Now, why would one woman write that about another woman, particularly Hillary?”
“Wolf, it’s none of your damn business how people eat or whether they exercise or not! It’s not your business, it’s not CNN’s business, and it’s not Barack Obama’s business! It’s theirs! Land of the free, home of the brave. Life, liberty, pursuit of happiness — even if it is in a container of McNuggets.”
“No, Mr. Sanchez, it’s not racist to call Obama an idiot. It’s accurate. He’s an idiot.”
“The Bush tax ‘cuts’ happened seven years ago; they’re not existing tax ‘rates’. The notion that not raising rates ‘costs the government money’ is mathematically impossible.”
“You won’t find very many conservative scientists. ‘Mr. Limbaugh, science is not politicized!’ Right, Mr. Castrati. You know, you get stupider every time you open your mouth.”
“From the AP: ‘You think the occasional cigarette won’t hurt? Even inhaling somebody else’s secondhand smoke could be enough to block your arteries and trigger a heart attack, says the newest sturgeon general’s report.’ May I ask again why is tobacco legal?”
“Folks, remember: to liberals, government’s God, and God should never starve or be thirsty.”
“Remember back in the old days when you could smoke in restaurants? And remember all the dead people you had to climb over when you left? Those who died from your secondhand smoke? You remember that? Oh, I do.”
“All right, that house in Escondido? Just another bomb factory owned by a Serbian national; it’s no big deal. Remember, we have to celebrate diversity here.”
“Can you just imagine this? Obama gets on the phone in the Oval Office and calls China: ‘Hey, Hu, uh, Barack Obama here. Yeah, how are you? Just fine. Hu, look, I need to borrow some more money. What for? Well, we need to pay some people that are not working.’ ‘What?'”
“When I turned 16, I started putting pictures of Ford Mustangs under the glass on my dad’s desk, and then I had to buy my own first car two years later.”
“Remember, now, folks, the last thing Obama wants is for this tax plan to work. I mean, here you are, a Marxist socialist, you’re sitting there in the White House, and at the end of two years you have to say, ‘You know what? I was wrong, the supply-side theory actually does work!'”
“How out of it do you have to be to be crazier than Lawrence O’Donnell?”
“Back in the days of my youth, the coaches rubbed dirt in your open wounds, and I’m still here.”
“Nobody goes to Yankee Stadium to watch the ushers and usherettes. Well, you might have some perverts show up, but I mean, you’re not going to fill the stadium with people who want to watch the ushers and usherettes.”
“As I was watching a little bit of the Constitution being read today on the floor of the House, I said, ‘This has to be like waterboarding to these Democrats.'”
“Washington is panting breathlessly: ‘Bill Daley! New chief of staff! Oh, boy, Bill Daley!’ Who cares? He’s a leftist windbag. It doesn’t matter who the chief of staff is. Obama only has peoplework around him who think he’s God.”
“How about this homeless guy with the mellifluous voice? Have you heard about this guy? He’s a dead ringer for Geraldo.”
“Watch out for the sandbag if you tick off the stagehands. If one of those sandbags is dropped from the top while you’re playing the violin, it’ll squish your neck and compress your spine, and you’ll never know what happened. I saw it on Murder, She Wrote every other week.”
“Story: ‘Starbucks will also aim for a classic coffeehouse vibe, selling alcohol and featuring live music and poetry.’ Well, you can’t do this without Bette Midler rolling in now and then.”
“Senator Tom Coburn has a long list of programs uselessly duplicated across the government. For example, there are nine agencies that run 69 early education programs. Cut 68 of ’em!”
“My father said, ‘Son, these liberal media people, if they ever really got a communist government here, the first people they’d put in jail would be them.’ So I said, ‘Sounds almost worth trying,’ and my dad, who didn’t see humor in this kind of stuff, chastised me for the comment.”
“I have a car that gets eight miles a gallon, I’m proud of it. And I bought it.”
“When I think of the left wing, I think civil, don’t you? Code Pink, the New Black Panthers, union bosses beating up black conservatives in St. Louis, ACORN, illegal alien marches… why, it doesn’t get more civil than that!”
“Snerdley was on a Tokyo-to-Detroit flight, and the couple behind him were cursing me for ‘hijacking American politics’. So at the next natural opportunity, he stood up and just stared at them for a while.”
“I’ve actually been thinking about doingthe program the way liberals would like to hear this program done. I think it would be fun to try, you know? Do an hour of civility as they mean it. Don’t get scared, Snerdley. There’s no reason to fear this.”
“I honestly thought about going out and finding a medicine man to open the program today.”
“From Boston: ‘A solar panel manufacturer that received $58 million in state aid four years ago is closingthe plant and laying off 800 workers.’ Green jobs, baby!”
“How about the civility of liberal comedians, like Bill Maher? Now, there’s a civil man. Actually, he is a man, isn’t he? Or a troll?”
“The left in general genuinely believe the lies that they tell. They are so indoctrinated from their schooling and their cocktail parties in New York and Washington that they deeply believe that they see things objectively.”
“The White House transcript says that Obama’s remarks were interrupted by applause no less than 53 times. Now, that’s not standard fare for a memorial.”
“Let me ask you some questions here. Was Saul Alinsky civil? Did he preach civility? Was Reverend Wright’s church civil? Bill Ayers, Obama’s buddy — was he civil?”
“I deserve combat pay. You know, I really do.”
“In Egypt it’s a gut level economic protest as much as anything else. This incessant spending, printing under the guise of stimulus is wreaking havoc all over the world.”
“There hasn’t been a genuinely free republican form of government in most of history for most of the world. We’re the first, and that’s why those of us who love the Constitution genuinely love it. Call it a fetish — I don’t care.”
“You know, I know Texans. I have a lot of friends who are Texans. And this story out there that Mexico is having to provide electricity for Texas — particularly in Dallas during Super Bowl week — is not sitting well with Texans.”
“‘Mr. Limbaugh, do you have to politicize everything?’ Look, Mr. New Castrati, I don’t initiate anything here. I react. You know, I’m sitting here, minding my own business, trying to enjoy life, and I could phone it in, but my professionalism wouldn’t permit me.”
“Every time I listen to Dingy Harry and his anemic voice, I want to clear my throat. I feel like I have phlegm in there.”
“So we’re now getting the daily drumbeat that the only choice we have is to reconcile with the Muslim Brotherhood. They’re not so bad after all — that’s what we’re being told. It’s the same tune we heard about Khomeini 30-some years ago: ‘Look at him! Cute little old cleric!'”
“You could have a bill that permits every man to rape a woman if you call it ‘The Civil Rights Act of 2012’. It would pass.”
“Liberals, in their minds, are your god, are your nanny. They bestow rights upon you. That’s why they don’t like the Constitution. The Constitution clearly says that rights come from God, and that they’re not all that complicated.”
“Snerdley wants me to tell you who we have on for the Super Bowl show tomorrow, but I’m not going to do that. You know what would happen — if I announced these guys’ names, guess who would call them up and pressure them not to appear? So you’ll just have to be patient and wait until tomorrow.”
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say it seems as though Obama is determined to give us Iran on the Nile.”