“Henry Hyde had a grand, grand sense of humor. He was just a tremendously gracious guy and loved an adult beverage and a cigar. He was articulate, he was compassionate, and sincere, and he’s going to be missed.”
“I’m going to have to do something about my cat. Punkin head-butted me for an hour and a half today starting at 5 a.m.! This is a test of wills.”
“I warned these Republican candidates way back in July: ‘Don’t do this.’ These YouTube debates are demeaning the office, folks. I swear I thought the Unabomber got out of jail and was back in his cabin doing videos to ask these guys questions.”
“There is a pattern here, ladies and gentlemen, to the way CNN operates. It is not called the Clinton News Network simply for humor!”
“I don’t like seeing conservatism being watered down. I don’t want people who are not conservative being said to be representatives of the ‘new’ conservatism. There is no ‘new’ conservatism! There is conservatism, and you either are or you aren’t.”
“You ask Mrs. Clinton a policy question, and you better be wearing a protective cup between your legs.”
“Snerdley, are you going to be watching the Packers and Cowboys tonight? You must have satellite. Brian, are you? H.R. is going to go to a sports bar, which is not bad if you’re married.”
“You people at CNN really make people sick. You have this holier-than-thou, erudite arrogance about yourselves, but you’re a bunch of uninformed, ignoramus morons about this country and the people who live in it.”
“Part of the fun of playing golf, James, is when you cream the ball, when you hit it on the screws, it’s almost orgasmic to see the thing sail down the fairway 250 yards.”