“This notion that I was nothing — that I was just wandering aimlessly in the radio muck field — until Bill Clinton came along is frankly absurd. Clinton had nothing to do with building this radio show, and I was miserable during those eight years!”
“I went to dinner with a woman — just a friend, hadn’t seen her in a while — and when they brought the bill, I saw a credit card on the table. I looked at the credit card, I looked at the woman, and then I said, ‘What is that? What the hell is that?'”
“This is the typical way that — That is the worst toupee I have ever seen on anybody! No, I have not lost my place.”
“ABC News: ‘Clinton Launches Obama Attack Websites.’ You know what went through my mind? That cackle, and then Hillary saying, ‘I’ll get you, my pretty! And your little lapdog Oprah, too! Ha, ha, ha!'”
“I care more about the future of this country than anything else because I have this awe, this respect, and this utter appreciation for what this country is and what it affords the people — not only of this country — but of the world.”
“People ask me, ‘What do you get for Christmas?’ Nothing! I have fun by giving.”
“Whoever Hillary chooses as her veep is going to have to recognize and accept the fact that he’sa doormat. Do you think her vice president will even be given an office? I’m only halfway joking about this.”
“There’s no question there is a double standard on gender in our culture. I mean, look it: John Edwards has been accused of having a love child. He’s a guy. Has anyone accused Mrs. Clinton of having a love child? No.”
“To those of you in the Drive-By Media, it’s time to learn something: It’s my world — you just live in it.”