“Cindy Sheehan has finally figured out she was nothing more than a pawn. She’s put Camp Crawford up for sale down there in Texas and says she’s going to accept any reasonable offer. I don’t know how much a ditch goes for in Texas. I guess it depends.”
“I don’t know if you ever watched Sex and the City; I did as a cultural survey project.”
“I can’t ignore this headline. I should ignore it — it’s fraught with danger — but I can’t ignore it: ‘Clinton Says She’s Not Blowing Off Iowa.’ You know, the name ‘Clinton’ and ‘blowing off’ in the same headline is a huge risk for someone like me. That’s all I’m going to say.”
“The liberals, leftists, and socialists have been trying to take over the world forever. Somebody has to stand up to them, and we need people like you in the fight. You just can’t throw in the towel here. I’ll tell you when it’s time to do that.”
“The Republicans didn’t lose the last election because they weren’t liberal or moderate enough. They lost it because they abandoned conservative principles — and that’s precisely what’s happening now in the immigration debate.”
“It’s going to happen some day: America’s Funniest Home Videos is going to be America’s Funniest Home Videos That Prove Global Warming. Sunday nights, 7:30, ABC. Make sure to set your TiVo!”
“The Democrats will always show up at the polls because they want more money for government or from government for a personal basis. Rank-and-file conservatives want to be left alone by the government, and they vote based on vision, principles, and solutions — not on selfishness.”
“I’m doing a yeoman’s job, by the way, of bringing new angles to this immigration debate and not sounding like a broken record. It’s tough to do.”
“I saw this headline here — ‘Residents Not Sure Two Bullets Enough to Stop Giant Lizard’ — and I thought maybe Rosie O’Donnell was visiting Janet Reno. But turns out it was an actual lizard out there.”
