RUSH: John in southern Illinois, which is not far from southeastern Missouri where I was born and grew up. John, welcome to the program. Nice to have you.
CALLER: Semper Fidelis dittos, and happy marriage. You may or may not remember me. I called you in March of 2005 to thank you for ten years of wedded bliss with my wife. You were the catalyst that put us together. We’re going on 16 years now, and I hope you and Kathryn and Wellesley and Abbey the same kind of happiness that we have. I do have one question for you.
RUSH: Wait a minute, now. You need to explain something here. There are a lot of people listening who love me, but are still going to be scratching their heads over how it couldn’t be me behind a happy marriage for you.
CALLER: Okay. I came home from the Marine Corps and I was a cocky devil dog hanging around Carbondale. And my wife did not care for my cockiness —
RUSH: Cocky, oh, yeah, women hate that.
CALLER: Oh, yes.
RUSH: Well, that’s not true. They say they hate it, but they actually don’t.
CALLER: Exactly. And she found out that I was a Dittohead because somehow or another the word feminazi came out of my Marine lips, that was the other F-word that I used, and she bought me a bottle of Snapple and we have been going out ever since, in August of ’96 —
RUSH: So when she found out that you were a Rush Limbaugh listener because of the use of the word feminazi and Snapple and so forth, then she didn’t care that you were cocky?
CALLER: No, she loved it.
RUSH: Yeah.
CALLER: Because I was cocky and right. Now, I have a question for you.
RUSH: Yeah.
CALLER: Out of 16 years of marriage, we have not yet had a Select Comfort bed and we’re thinking about getting one when we move over into Missouri. I have a question. Which model do you have, and what is your number?
RUSH: Well, what model do you think I have?
CALLER: The best one they have.
RUSH: That’s exactly right.
CALLER: Okay.
RUSH: Top of the line is what I’d recommend, but it’s not necessary, depends on — I mean I got the best king. But the sleep number, now, that’s a personal choice. It depends on the desired firmness that you desire and your wife desires. It changes all the time. Like I have a sleep number, sometimes it’s 75, sometimes I jack it up to 90, you know, and sometimes 50. It depends what you want, that’s the great thing about it, you can change it multiple times a night or once a week or whatever you want.
CALLER: That’s awesome. Well, my dad was a World War II veteran, he turned me on to you, we lost him Memorial Day ’99, and he would be very proud that I was talking to someone he considered a great orator and a great American Statesman. And you, sir, it is an honor to speak to you, and this is the third time I’ve been fortunate enough to get through, and we love you. And we’re praying for you and Kathryn to have the same kind of happiness that we have.
RUSH: Thank you very much. I really appreciate that. That’s very kind, and God bless your dad. You know, my dad was World War II veteran as well.
RUSH: Mr. Chafets. You know, it’s interesting, I talked to Zev via e-mail the other day, and he’s been blackballed from a lot of conservative television shows and networks, he has not been invited. He’s gotten some invitations on liberal programs, but no conservative programs are taking him to interview him, which I said, ‘Zev, that should not surprise you, it shouldn’t surprise you at all.’ And he’s plugging away at it out there. You know, I participated with him in writing it. It’s a miniature biography. It’s actually a lot more than a biography, called Rush Limbaugh: An Army of One. I actually read it. I read it on my iPad, I downloaded it, where did I get it, the iBookstore or Kindle, I’m not sure which. And I don’t like reading things about me, I never have. Just like I don’t watch myself on television, I don’t listen to myself on the radio. I don’t need to. I hear it firsthand as I perform it. I’m there. I don’t read things about me, and I picked this up or downloaded it, and I read a sentence on this page and jumped a couple pages and I found myself in about an hour turning every page.
Even though I knew everything that was in it — well, he had some opinions in it about me that I didn’t know, that’s why Army of One is the title. But I had forgotten a lot of the things that he found out by trolling around Cape Girardeau and talking to people, and I’m reading these things I’d forgotten all about. (laughing) I mean, junior high school stuff. So I found myself turning the pages and reading and I thought it was interesting. It’s amazing how fast — oh, yeah, all those eBooks, they download lickety-split, exactly. I got the Barnes & Noble e-reader, Kindle, iBooks on the iPad, coming to the iPhone. Yeah, it’s fascinating to have all that content on one device instead of carrying around all the hardcover, soft covers. But anyway, I was frankly kind of surprised that I enjoyed it and by reading it I kind of lost myself turning the pages, I looked, and it had been an hour. I didn’t run across any, ‘Gee, I wish he hadn’t said that.’ I mean, maybe there were a couple things but my maturity is such that that’s a pointless attitude to have since I’m reading it. To turn and say, ‘Gee I wish it weren’t there,’ is kind of stupid, but it is what it is.
Rush Limbaugh: An Army of One, Zev Chafets the author, blackballed — (interruption) what? Snerdley asked if I was reading things I’d forgotten that surprised me. Some. I’d say a lot of it’s, ‘Oh, yeah, I actually did do that.’ I was proud of it. ‘Oh, yeah! I’d forgotten that.’ I mean, the volume of output, 15 hours a week, 25 years, you gotta throw Sacramento in there, it’s impossible to remember everything you’ve done or said. And so it all came flying back at me, and I said, ‘Dang, that was good, that was clever, that was hilarious.’ Yeah, I was surprised how fast I turned the pages. You know why I was surprised? ‘Cause I knew what was coming. I mean it’s about me. I wasn’t reading something about somebody I didn’t know anything about yet I was turning the pages pretty fast. So I’m glad he’s reading it.