“I like this idea: Turn Julian Assange over to the ChiComs and tell them he’s part of Falun Gong.”
“I don’t know how you feel, but I just spent four absolutely wonderful, fabulous days at what I call pre-Obama America. From Wednesday night until about nine o’clock last night, I thought not one thought of Barack Obama — and it was bliss!”
“Obama busted his lip out there playing basketball? Did his teleprompter say ouch?”
“So I’m sitting here watching Hillary remarking on the theft of our top secret documents, and is it just me, or is she starting to look more and more like Mao Tse-tung? Or is it her wardrobe? I can’t tell.”
“Roger Ailes knows where Julian Assange is. Give Ailes the order, and there is no Assange, I guarantee you — and there will be no fingerprints.”
“There have been eight attempted terror attacks on US soil since Obama has been president. Now, imagine what the number would be if Obama hadn’t improved our relations with the Muslim world.”
“Folks, my forearms are larger than Obama’s calves. In fact, the only body part that Obama has that’s larger than mine are his ears, all right?”
“One more little note here to Steve Johnson, the Buffalo Bills wide receiver: Steve, I love you, man,but you don’t go blaming God when you fail at a hail Mary pass — that’s just not good politics.”
“Somebody just sent me a note: ‘If you’re having trouble getting your arms around what a home attendant is, just think of a Ukrainian blonde nurse working for Moammar Khadafy.’ Okay, that kind of like crystallizes it for me.”
“I hate the word ‘Wiki’; it does not sound like a manly word. ‘Wiki’… I think of candles.”
