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“I think it’s safe to say, ladies and gentlemen, that houses for people who cannot afford houses is a failed experiment.”
“Joe Biden is on the campaign trail, equating himself and Barack Obama to people the American people would like to have a sleepover with. Where do they come up with this stuff? It’s the gift that keeps on giving.”
“Central planning does not work. Central planning gave us the Soviet Union. Central planning gave us North Korea. Central planning gave us Cuba. Tell me if you want to replicate that.”
“I eat a lot of meat. Actually, a lot of liver and onions, too. My brain’s huge. Which is why, folks, I would suggest that you buy Allen Brothers. I’m one of their biggest customers!”
“How about Lindsey Lohan, ladies and gentlemen? Heard about this? I think it’s safe to say that this woman’s brain is, at best, a fried egg. Okay, maybe a scrambled egg.”
“So Obama wanted defeat of the US militarylast year, but now, all of a sudden, he wants a delay in the withdrawal of troops so that he can say he did it as president, and fulfill a campaign pledge to the kook fringe? What a slimeball!”
“I was out on the field before the Steelers-Browns game on Sunday, and the wind was blowing like a mother-in-law convention out there!”
“I went to Cleveland over the weekend with friends, and they said, ‘You need to go to the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame.’ But I got confused and went to the Hard Rock Cafe.”
“The whole point of Social Security with FDR was to ensure never-ending power for the Democrat Party by identifying it as the party that cares more about you and is going to make sure you never have to suffer at all at any time for any reason — and people bought it.”
“Folks, it breaks my heart to see capitalism get the blame here by people on our side. We need more ‘regulation’? That’s just code language for ‘the free market can’t handle itself.'”