“I think it’s safe to say, ladies and gentlemen, that houses for people who cannot afford houses is a failed experiment.”
“Joe Biden is on the campaign trail, equating himself and Barack Obama to people the American people would like to have a sleepover with. Where do they come up with this stuff? It’s the gift that keeps on giving.”
“Central planning does not work. Central planning gave us the Soviet Union. Central planning gave us North Korea. Central planning gave us Cuba. Tell me if you want to replicate that.”
“I eat a lot of meat. Actually, a lot of liver and onions, too. My brain’s huge. Which is why, folks, I would suggest that you buy Allen Brothers. I’m one of their biggest customers!”
“How about Lindsey Lohan, ladies and gentlemen? Heard about this? I think it’s safe to say that this woman’s brain is, at best, a fried egg. Okay, maybe a scrambled egg.”
“So Obama wanted defeat of the US militarylast year, but now, all of a sudden, he wants a delay in the withdrawal of troops so that he can say he did it as president, and fulfill a campaign pledge to the kook fringe? What a slimeball!”
“I was out on the field before the Steelers-Browns game on Sunday, and the wind was blowing like a mother-in-law convention out there!”
“I went to Cleveland over the weekend with friends, and they said, ‘You need to go to the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame.’ But I got confused and went to the Hard Rock Cafe.”
“The whole point of Social Security with FDR was to ensure never-ending power for the Democrat Party by identifying it as the party that cares more about you and is going to make sure you never have to suffer at all at any time for any reason — and people bought it.”
“Folks, it breaks my heart to see capitalism get the blame here by people on our side. We need more ‘regulation’? That’s just code language for ‘the free market can’t handle itself.'”
“When the government fails to pass a socialism bill and the market goes south, let it go south.”
“Regardless how the vote turns out, I am not going to quit today until everybody listening to this program understands who’s responsible for what is going on, and it’s the very same people who screwed up.”
“Here’s what we’re dealing with, folks: Senator McCain is doing a rally right now in Ohio, and he’s promising to end pork barrel spending. The Democrats are in the process of stealing the country, and he’s out there talking about earmarks!”
“For every person you hear saying this bailout is going to strengthen the market, it’s the exact opposite. The market’s not being allowed to work here because the losers haven’t been flushed out.”
“The Democrats say we face Armageddon, we face a depression, but don’t you find it curious that all this is taking place 35 days before a presidential election — with the Democrat candidate’s mantra being ‘change’?”
“This is a political ploy right out of the left-wing Democrat playbook: crisis is the easiest way to manage the behavior of a frightened citizenry. That’s exactly what’s going on here.”
“It is a waste of time for all of us to sit around and wait to be inspired by somebody in our party to turn out and vote — we’re going to have to do that on our own.”
“Understand what’s going on, here: liberalism is liberalism, and the liberals are in the process of stealing the country. If they succeed in this, folks, it’s going to take a generation to roll this back.”
“‘These assets are so riskless,’ said Franklin Raines… who will be in Obama’s cabinet. Franklin Raines, who gives Obama advice on housing. Franklin Raines, who had to give back the gazillions of dollars he stole from Fannie Mae.”
“So there’s Obama, running around at the debate talking about how we’ve lost our esteem. That aggravates me like you cannot believe.”
“My offer for the president to bring his teleprompter to the EIB Network so I can debate the teleprompter still stands.”
“The dirty little secret is that all these people getting all these bonuses are friends of Barack. They’re filthy-rich Democrats, and a lot of this money is going straight to people who will end up kicking it back to Obama in the form of campaign contributions.”
“You know who Barney Frank reminds me of? The Looney Tunes cartoon character, Sylvester the Cat: ‘I thought I saw a puddy tat!'”
“I just saw it reported on Fox News that traffic — traffic — can lead you to being three times more likely to have a heart attack. Traffic. Traffic! What a bunch of wusses!”
“Where are the real businessmen who actually create jobs and wealth? You will not find one in the Obama administration. They’re just a bunch of eggheads and Ivy League elites who have never managed a thing.”
“I’m Paul Revere here shouting, ‘The British coming!’ The only difference is nobody believes me.”
“Nathan, you say you want to earn $250,000. Do you know what? And I mean this from the bottom of my heart, Nathan: the only person stopping you is you. He hung up, damn it.”
“By the way, Chuck Barkley, if you want to compare ‘fat asses’, it’s close. I mean, Chuck, you’re not exactly Slim Whitman out there.”
“I am all for the AIG bailouts and bonuses. You see, I have most of my insurance policies with AIG, and I figure, ‘Why shouldn’t taxpayers bail out the company that underwrites my insurance?’ I mean, I’m paying a bunch of people’s mortgages out there. Fair’s fair, folks.”
“Andrew Cuomo is Eliot Spitzer, Jr. –minus the call girls.”
“There’s always been a line over which no president would cross with respect to the distinction between the public and private sectors. Obama has crossed that line.”
“GM’s not going to be working with the government. They’re going to be taking orders from the government. It’s what happens when you run around with your hand out and take freebies, loans, whatever. You become obligated.”
“I cringe when I see so many people mindlessly, blamelessly, turn off the lights for a meaningless, symbolic act that will change nothing other than empower the people who want to usurp our freedom and liberty.”
“Obama is taking 500-plus people on his trip to the G20. Out of 500 people, 200 of them are Secret Service and other security. But 500-plus people, that’s a little excessive, I am told, from what previous presidents took with them on international trips like this.”
“One of the things that I value most is my personal liberty and freedom, enshrined by our founding documents, Declaration of Independence and the Constitution of the United States.”
“Angela Merkel of Germany said to Gordon Brown she’s not raising taxes and we’re not going to commit to a whole bunch of new spending around the world on some global New Deal. Our partners in Europe are well aware of the problems of spending and spending and spending money that you don’t have.”
“Obama can go anywhere he wants and all he’s gotta do is tell the peasants with the pitchforks he’s ‘fighting for them.'”
“I don’t think Obama wants to save the auto industry; I think he wants it changed, I think he wants to take it over. He wants to refocus it. He wants it to become another industry doing his bidding, same thing with the financial industry and so forth.”
“In some places going dark for an hour and then firing everything back up actually increased the output of CO2, the carbon footprint, because the surge in powering back up at 9:30 after this thing wiped out any gain — and even the organizers know it’s just symbolism.”
“They’re going to raise taxes on all these people — dramatically, 31% in New York State — who earn over $500,000 a year. At the same time, the Obama administration is moving directly against one of the industries that pays people that much to limit their bonuses, to limit their salaries, to limit how much they can be paid, and to limit how they can run their businesses.”
“While Bernie Madoff gets 150 years, Waxman and Markey weren’t even cited in their scheme, their rip-off: this climate bill.”
“Andy Stern of the Service Employees International Union admits that he has a weekly meeting with Obama. A union thug has a weekly audience with the pope! They spent $60 million getting Obama elected, and what Obama is doing is trying to make union membership more attractive as a payback.”
“You can’t mandate the creation of new technologies from Washington. There’s nobody there that knows how to do it. It happens in the private sector when there’s a market need for it.”
“Conservatives are far more widely informed than liberals are. Liberals have a narrow little focus and they don’t allow anything that contradicts their little cocoon to enter it.”
“Can I share with you a dirty little secret? We don’t have an energy shortage. There is not an energy crisis. All of this has been trumped up.”
“JFK makes a piker out of Mark Sanford, Bill Clinton, and Eliot Spitzer combined when it comes to adultery while in office.”
“The media in this Michael Jackson episode is a horrible disgrace. It is so bad that the only guy making sense on any of this is Al Sharpton. That’s how bad the media coverage is.”
“Obama’s approval index at the Rasmussen poll is now at zero. The approval index is the difference between the strongly approve and strongly disapprove in the poll. That’s zero. Normally he’s been a plus-ten. He was plus-nine after his Cairo speech; plus-ten after the Sotomayor nomination. But after this infomercial on ABC, after all these television appearances, it’s down to zero.”
“Wait ’til you hear what is happening. How about dental work for the homeless as part of the stimulus package — and, believe me, the stimulus package was not passed to help dentists.”
“In a contest of intellectuals between Sotomayor and Scalia, they would cancel the game before it began or they’d have to spot her 50 or 75 IQ points.”
“Greece is not a business story. Greece is a story about liberals and liberalism.”
“If you pursue the dollar and only the dollar, you probably aren’t going to be happy no matter how much of it you earn.”
“Elena Kagan is not the next Harriet Miers. She’s the next Barack Obama. This is what everybody’s gotta realize: He’s simply picking mirror images of himself.”
“I don’t care where you go, folks: If liberals are in charge of it (with the rare exception of Goldman Sachs) it’s in trouble.”
“Liberal elitist theoreticians have no clue how real Americans live. They think they know how Americans ought to live, and that is what they want to use the judiciary for.”
“Until the world comes to grips with the exact nature of the economic problem, nothing will be solved beyond a short-term bailout of public sector leeches — who are themselves equally to blame for this mess and who will, at some point, continue sucking the life out of those who actually produce something.”
“These bailouts are a bottomless pit. Nothing is real. Nobody has any money.”
“California is screwed if liberals are left in charge. Greece has no hope if the socialists continue to run it. Ditto the UK, ditto Spain, ditto Portugal, ditto us in the United States of America.”
“Newsweek (on the market, for sale) lost $28 million after a revamp to make it more relevant to the average American. They don’t have a clue at Newsweek who average Americans are.”
“What ought to be a proverb, if it isn’t already, is: ‘Never lend to spendthrifts.'”
“Castro knows that there’s an opening at CNN. Larry King is gonna leave this fall. If CNN will hire Client No. 9, Eliot Spitzer, then Castro’s got to think he has a chance.”
“Barack Obama has proved the truth of what we were all told when we were growing up. Anybody can be president.”
“No society has ever taxed itself to prosperity. No society has ever taxed away debt and all you have to do is look at Great Britain or any of the European socialist democracies. They’ve been taxing and taxing and taxing and their debt has been rising and rising and rising.”
“The Republicans are gonna have a challenge. They had better run in this election cycle on agenda items featuring pro-growth so that when the victory happens in November they have a mandate. It’s not enough just to sit there and be against Obama or be the recipient of an anti-Obama, anti-Democrat vote. It’s a golden opportunity and it has been for a year and a half, and we will see how they utilize it.”
“There has never been a group or a collection of people who whine more than the American left. They are the most hyphenated Americans that we have, and first and foremost they are whiner-Americans.”
“The Limbaugh Institute for Advanced Conservative Studies isthe largest free education institution known to exist in either the free or oppressed worlds. There are no graduates; there are no degrees, because the learning never stops.”
“I’m not denying what Mel Gibson said was raunchy, but what’s the bigger story here? What’s really more important: an audiotape rant of Mel Gibson, or the Department of Justice politicizing justice on the basis of race?”
“It appears that Obama would love to have the Republicans in power in the House to blame, because that would set him up for reelection in 2012.”
“Obama’s always in it for Obama. He’s always about him.”
“We have every reason to be upbeat here about the future. Look at Europe. If Europe can rise up against socialism, so can we. In fact, it’s inevitable.”
“One thing that history has taught over and over again: If you ignore your rights, they will go away.”
“We’re being good cop/bad copped here. The bad cops are the pat-downs. The good cop is gonna be the scanning. ‘Come on over here. We’ll treat you right,’ blah, blah, blah, blah. You wait and see. I got this nailed.”
“Newsweek’s latest cover depicts Obama as Lord Shiva, the god of practically everything. It has really upset some Indian-Americans — but only a few people really seem bothered by it.”
“You need to be a little more compassionate. Joy Behar is just not happy. She’s unhappy with a lot of things. I know Maude, and she’s one of these people who is happily miserable.”
“As soon as we can announce the availability of our iPad and iPhone software apps for the Dittocam and Rush 24/7, believe me, you will be the second to know. I will be the first, because if I didn’t know nobody else would know.”
“What if I said I was in Selma? I mean, who could say I wasn’t? In 1965 I was 14 years old, just up north a little bit in Missouri. I could say I was in Selma. Imagine how things would change if I said I was in Selma.”
“I’m routinely getting e-mails from guys who say they wouldn’t put up with these invasive airport searches, but I don’t see anybody doing anything about it.”
“Middle America exemplifies the can-do attitude that saved the world from tyranny. It was middle class America climbing the ropes at Pointe-Du-Hoc and winning the Battle of the Bulge and flying the airplanes at Nagasaki. It wasn’t the Harvard faculty. It wasn’t the Yale volleyball team.”
“Do you realize 90% of the country, according to the Washington Post, is stupid — and that’s why Bristol Palin might win Dancing with the Stars?”
“The divide in this country is between those who insist on bankrupting the country for their utopian social dreams and those of us who they demand pay for it.”
“If you want to do a drinking game for the State of the Union show, two words will have you plastered inside 20 minutes: ‘Investments’ and ‘civility’.”
“Now, Obama was either deceitful in his book about how much he hated Reagan all his life, or he’s being deceitful now, and I’m going to play it safe and say that he has been both.”
“Obama has abandoned his position on Guantanamo and military trials, and he gets praised for it from you people on the left. Isn’t that odd? It took him becoming president to realize that terrorists need to be held offshore.”
“Everybody’s trying to figure out what happened to the Jets, and it’s very simple: they played the Steelers. That’s all you really need to know.”
“You know, I’m going to ban cell phones from this show, because it’s impossible to have a conversation with people on a cell phone. What, Lucas? You heard every word I said? Well, then, you’re rude.”
“I remember meeting a guy once who ate nothing but blueberries; he was an evangelical on blueberries. Anyway, he committed suicide a month after I met him.”
“Let’s check some e-mails: ‘Are you okay today? Sounding kind of cranky, El Rushbo. Two calls in a row you were kind of rude. Take a pill or a nap or whatever.'”
“If Obama had chosen to inspire people to be the best they can be, rather than painting them all as victims, he could have effectively ended the Republican Party, but I knew it wasn’t going to happen.”
“Did you know that Michelle Obama fed an entire state dinner, 200 guests, from the Michelle Obama garden? Did you know that? It’s never been done since loaves and fishes, folks.”
“You have me in shorts tomorrow night on the golf course, or Obama in a suit at the House chamber. What would you choose?”