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“How long will it be before Barack Obama says, ‘That’s not the Wesley Clark I know’?”

“They’re ecstatic out there in the Drive-By world because Warren Buffett has eclipsed the charitable record set by me on eBay — for now.For now.”

“Can you imagine a 6-year-old getting up and reading the paper with his mom and dad and saying, ‘Mommy, Daddy, what’s it called when a man hugs a woman?’And Mommy says, ‘Little Johnny, it’s called prostitution’?”

“Danger, thanks for the call. I appreciate it.I’ve never ever had a caller named ‘Danger’ before who was so innocent and harmless.”

“You know, I have a cousin who went to the US Military Academy at West Point and taught law there, so I know full well what it takes to get in there, what it means when you do, and how hard the work is when you’re there.”

“Which party has members that have accused Club Gitmo operatives of torture and being like Pol Pot’s regime? That would be Dick Durbin and the Democrat Party.So no wonder they feel defensive about patriotism.”

“If McCain still believes that somehow he can make this campaign honorable and on the issues as he wants it, then he’s going to have some problems.These people are out for his scalp!”

“The idea that Obama is some messianic figure who only wants the best for people is a joke. He is a thoroughly mean-spirited individual who lets other people do the attacking for him.”

“Frankly, I don’t think we need to be lectured on patriotism by Barack Obama. I mean, this isa guy who had a problem trying to figure out when and where to wear the American flag pin, for crying out loud!”

“The program never really ends — we just have a real long break at 3:00 Eastern.”

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“The Republican Party mantra is ‘we hope he succeeds,’ but, frankly, given his plans, I don’t want Obama to succeed, folks. I don’t want socialism.”

“Poll: ‘Eighty-six percent of Chicago elected officials said that they have enjoyed sex in the shower.’ The other 14% said they hadn’t been to prison yet so they couldn’t answer.”

“Hang on, ladies and gentlemen — I’m being interrupted. The staff is violating a 20-year-old rule; happy birthday to me. You know, I’m softening on this stuff. Normally, I would’ve shut the microphone off and started cursing.”

“We’re going to have a Drive-By Media that will look at Obama and say, ‘Too big to fail’, and prop him up. It’ll be the exact opposite of what they did during the last six years.”

“Somebody asked, ‘How many times a day do you gargle with alcohol?’ And I said, ‘I don’t know. Maybe you should ask Maureen Dowd.'”

“The announcement of Obama’s plans alone should be causing a huge spike in economic activity becausethe government’s the only entity that can fix this, as Obama says. But there isn’t one bit of detectable movement in our economy as a result of these bailouts, is there?”

“I got a birthday card from Punkin today. The card basically asks me to bring home some caviar so that she can celebrate this special day and I can pause to think about how lucky I am to have her. I love that little cat.”

“Successful businesses overcome the odds placed in front of them by government. Failing businesses are those that look for help from government to keep going.”

“Looking at all the infrastructure improvement plans Obama wants to implement to ‘save’ the economy, I’m led to the following realization: Ted ‘Bridge to Nowhere’ Stevens was ahead of his time.”

“Figure out what it is you really want to do, and then look into how to do it and get it done. ‘Oh, Rush, it’s so hard.’ I know it is. But everything starts with the first step.”

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“I just learned this. George W. Bush has been in the White House teaching President Obama to pronounce words.”

“When he says he’s going to focus on jobs, it doesn’t mean he’s focusing on jobs. It means he’s going to mention it. ‘Focus’ simply means ‘mention’ to Obama, because he’s obviously not focused.”

“For true football fans, there’s nothing that matters until September now. It’s bad news.”

“The Republicans have got to be very, very careful here because this invitation to talk with Obama is nothing more than a trap.”

“Have confidence, my fellow Republicans, that there is no where near a majority of people that want Obama’s health care. A clear majority of people do not want it, and they stopped it. That’s where the bipartisanship is.”

“True bipartisanship here is to say ‘no’ to Obama’s health care bill. Republicans, independents and Democrats across the country are opposed to this. That’s where the bipartisanship is, if you care about it. If you Republicans go along with this, it’s going to be squandering such an opportunity.”

“‘Bipartisanship’ simply means Republicans compromising their core beliefs to agree with Democrats. There is never talk of bipartisanship with the Democrats giving up everything. It’s always everybody joining them or caving to meet them.”

“Obama has not presented a plan. He does not have his own sheaves of paper that he can throw out and say, ‘No, right here in my plan on page 2,940 it says you can keep your insurance plan.’ There is no Obama plan.”

“For those of you Republicans in the House (and the Senate for that matter), the goal is to get our message out there and do it repeatedly and effectively right up to Election Day.”

“I’m not a hype guy. I’m not a conventional wisdom guy. I run the other way on whatever the conventional wisdom is, and the conventional wisdom was Colts by two touchdowns. I love being a maverick renegade in these things. Plus I was objectively analyzing it based on my look at the game.”

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“Is there anybody who now doubts what I meant when I said, ‘I hope he fails’?”

“The great majority of Americans are middle class, and this health care bill is the first giant step toward making them dependent on the federal government for their needs. The middle class must receive a handout but must not receive tax cuts to enable them to move up the ladder.”

“Starting today, the best health care system in the world is history. Depending on what illness or disease you have or contract, you may well not get health care. The government will ration health care — which it already does with Medicare, Medicaid, the VA and S-CHIP.”

“America is hanging by a thread, so we have to see what we can do with a thread. At the end of the day our freedom has been assaulted. This is the kind of change that people did not think they were going to get when they voted for Barack Obama. Freedom must win the day.”

“The cost of this is incalculable to our character, to the relationship citizens have to their government, to freedom, to liberty. The destruction here is totally predictable, and that’s why this is so frightening. Medicaid has essentially just been expanded, and it’s a 45-year failure.”

“How can anybody who is focused on freedom, American exceptionalism, the individual and the consent of the governed, propose a plan which the House did, their reconciliation package, that adds 16,000 new IRS agents to examine the tax returns of the American people?”

“The problems beyond our borders are of very little interest to Barack Obama compared to his desires within our borders. He will continue his crusade to forever alter this country. He has come to divide. He has come to conquer.”

Some of the Republicans on our side still don’t get it, still refuse to see this man, his presidency, his administration for what it is, and some of our own conservative so-called commentariat don’t get it. Rome is burning, and instead of putting out the fire we have too many people looking for a bag of marshmallows.”

“If you’re unemployed, get used to it. We are facing a permanent unemployment rate of nine to 10% or greater, and the passage of the health care bill, when he signs it, practically guarantees it.”

“The next big push is not going to be jobs, the next big push is going to be amnesty, and it’s coming sooner than you think. Obama can’t wait for this. He’s going to need these people as voters in 2012.”

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“The least experienced, the least accomplished, the most anti-capitalist, the most pro-regulation man ever to occupy the Oval Office has lived down to his reputation.”

“This is one of the well known secrets of the world, and that is that communist leaders and socialist leaders live like the wealthiest capitalists on earth.”

“The people who care about people are found on the right side of the aisle in this country and throughout the world.”

“They want to set up a device connected to your skin where your doctor, via the Internet, can regulate the dosages of whatever medications they have you on. Can you say, death panels, anybody?”

“Don’t doubt me. Just over a month ago, back on March 22nd, shortly after Obamacare Sunday, I said the next big push is going to be immigration. And, lo and behold, look what’s happened. They have blown off cap and trade to get to immigration. And the reason they’re doing this is votes in November, pure and simple.”

“It’s fascinating to watch our elected leaders learn months after we all figure it out that the people they’re working with on the other side are double-crossers.”

“Not everybody thinks that civil rights are the end all and be all of every single issue. But folks in Washington just cannot imagine that.”

“You got Hezbollah in Arizona, you got Mexican drug cartels operating in Arizona, you got a steady stream of illegals over the border and you’ve got people being killed in Arizona. They are at their wits’ end. Enforcing the law is the overall thing and if there are some civil rights violations, so be it. That’s how desperate the situation is.”

“Everything involving global warming, everything about climate change, make no mistake, is a hoax.”

“There are a bunch of Democrats running for reelection, members of the House who all are on record saying the reason they voted for health care is because it will reduce costs and lower premiums, and every damn one of them can nowbe accused of being wrong, uninformed, or at worse, lying to their constituents about it.”

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“Thank you all for congratulating us on our 22nd anniversary here. I will tell you that I do expect that within 50 years, August 1st will at least be a private sector national holiday, if not a holiday nationwide.”

“Now, Chelsea Clinton got married over the weekend — three to $5 million is said to be the cost — and it’s fascinating to read what Tina Brown at The Daily Beast says: ‘We needed this wedding. We needed it psychologically.’ Yeah, I guess just like we need The Bachelorette.”

“Liberals lie. Democrats lie. Once you understand that, you have basically gotten to second base — maybe even hit a triple in terms of dealing with Democrats and liberalism.”

“One of the most unfortunate things to happen when the Soviet Union stopped giving $5 billion a year to the Castros is that Cuban cigars went to hell. Yes, it’s one of the greatest shames… in addition to the human suffering, of course.”

“I don’t think it’s well known, but Andy Griffith is a well-known leftist. Oh, yeah. Andy Griffith is a well-known leftist and has a reputation for being nasty.”

“Headline of the story: ‘Democrats scatter Monday as Obama comes to town’. You know, I really wish we could all get away from this president as easily as the Democrats apparently can.”

“Look at me. I do not come on this program and say we ought to treat people differently based on race, ethnicity, age, income, or any other form of distinction you can find — but the Democrats all do. They all demand that.”

“If I can get serious with you for a second, Russell, you’re insane. You’re genuinely nuts.”

“I’m struck by all the people who actually think that Obama will extend the Bush tax cuts. Where is the evidence to suggest that Obama will do anything to grow the economy? Where is the evidence that Obama will do anything to improve the economic circumstances of average American citizens?”

“You can’t fool El Rushbo. Not after 22 years behind the Golden EIB Microphone. Not after 22 years running the Limbaugh Institute for Advanced Conservative Studies.”

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