“To pull off the notion that he’s sick, Mr. Snerdley has a surgical mask on today and latex gloves. I can just barely see your eyes over that surgical mask! I have never seen somebody go to such lengths to convince me that they are sick.”
“Let’s put it in perspective, folks. One day, a tree was cut down, and it was processed into paper. The paper was then turned into stationery. That stationery then became a four-page letter with 41 signatures that the free market has now valued at $2,100,100.”
“Look at you, Bridget. Your son is in Iraq, all of his buddies are over there, and he admits he’s scared but felt a calling — a sense of duty — to go do it. That is honor.”
“We have great graphics — Michaele’s great graphics — up there at RushLimbaugh.com. This is a great eBay page you guys put together. That’s one of the best-looking eBay pages that there’s ever been.”
“There’s a way to translate Harry Reid’s Senate floor speech today: ‘Rush, you win.'”
“This whole episode this week has been a great illustration of how America is great. The private sector has a heart; the government does not.”
“Mr. Snerdley, you’ve been paying attention to this while faking being sick all week — have Harry Reid and I buried the hatchet? I didn’t think so, either, but I wanted to get an outside opinion on this so as not to be too judgmental.”
“We broke eBay! And as such, we have heard from south Florida lawyers who suspect that there might be a hanging chad scenario here. We are, of course, going to just flick that away as we would a Lake Erie midge during a New York Yankees game in the American League divisional series playoffs.”
“Harry Reid said, ‘We didn’t have time, or we could have gotten every senator to sign the letter.’ Just write another letter and have the remaining senators sign it — we’ll put it back on eBay and do it all over again!”
