“If they had polling data that suggests that the Democrats won big in Wisconsin, that would have been 90% of the content of this presser. And it didn’t even come up. Napoleon didn’t have a press conference either after Waterloo.”
“Did you hear what Obama said? Obama issued a statement where he referred to our alliance with Japan as ‘unshakable’. What a tin ear.”
“Don’t forget the pictures out of Wisconsin. Remember when you see these spittle-flecked, red-faced crazily-ranting protesters that these are the same people who can normally be found in classrooms indoctrinating your crumb crunchers.”
“What are people in the community doing standing around waiting for somebody to show up and organize them? Well, you just saw what community organizing is. You saw it for weeks in Wisconsin. It’s seven and a half million dollars in damage to the state capitol.”
“You people at Mediaite, do not misquote me on this. If you want to misquote me, wait until what I said is on my website so you can misquote me accurately.”
“Obama said he’s tired of people using the budget to advance ideological and political objectives. Can you believe the outrage that somebody would do that? Of course, every dime of his whole budget that he spends that we don’t have is about advancing his totalitarian agenda.”
“Well, apparently President Obama just said that US actions are slowly ‘tightening the noose’ on Moammar Khadafy. The noose — isn’t that racist?”
“Obama said the United States has to stop funding programs that don’t work. Now, that is truly radical, because if he meant it, what would be left? And I’m only 10% joking here.”
“From the UK Daily Mail: ‘Monica Lewinsky: I’m Still in Love With Bill.’ Now, some of you might be saying, ‘What’s so sad about this?’ Folks, you have a 22-year-old intern who was dragged in carrying a pizza box — we know what happened in there.”
“For the last time, folks: public sector unions have nothing to do with the National Football League. If the NFL doesn’t get people voluntarily attending their games, it ends. But if you don’t pay your taxes, you lose your house.”
