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“I love keeping an eye on Hugo Chavez because I think it’s informative and educational.”

“My friend Andy McCarthy has a great way to describe Obama. To Obama, there are two Americas: the America that began upon his ascension to the throne, and then there’s the America prior to that. And the America prior to January 20th was an immoral, unjust, imperfect mess.”

“Okay, so follow me on this. If false promises are a concern, and if we’re going to get our underwear in a wad over misleading claims, well, then, I am here to tell you that Cheerios are the least of our problems.”

“Imagine if somebody were to put sugar on their Cheerios: oh, my God, what would the FDA do then? Actually, General Mills does: they’re called Honey Nut Cheerios. That’s a gateway drug here, folks.”

“I was just watching Fox, and they had their cameras trained on Robert Gibbs at the White House, and they made his face look as pink as his tie. I mean, it looked like a 14th degree sunburn.”

“If you start calling Obama a dictator, people are just going to tune you out. And if you call him a Marxist, depending on their education level, they might be happy about that.”

“Obama told these guys on Wall Street, ‘I’m the one thing standing between you and the pitchforks.’ But what you have to understand is that Obama is putting the pitchforks in the hands of the people who are ready to storm the castle.”

“I can’t imagine what it would be like to get up every day and face the world as filled with rage as liberals do. I really don’t know what it’s like to go through the day that mad.”

“Maybe we ought to start encouraging the legalization of marijuana in California. I mean, do you know how many Obama supporters would then flock there to live? Then we’d have 49 states left full of hardworking, responsible, motivated Americans, while all the potheads are all in California. Just thinking about it.”

“We’re going to have to add another option in the mix to explain Obama on foreign policy, and that is pure, unadulterated incompetence.”

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