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“I think well-articulated, solid conservatism can mop the floor with Obama in the 2012 election; that’s what I have no doubt about. Forceful, confident conservatism wins every time it’s tried.”

“Hillary Clinton’s exhausted, she’s tired. Yep, you can tell. Have you seen the picture, folks? It’s not pretty. Well, it is what it is. You can frown at me all you want, Dawn, but the facts are the facts.”

“I just got an e-mail from somebody in Rio Linda thanking me for telling them what a ‘super moon’ is. This person in Rio Linda thought a ‘super moon’ was when a fat guy drops trou.”

“When I get home from work, I occupy my mind with my job: How could I get better at it? I don’t get the impression Barack Obama does this at all. His ego is such that his presence equals greatness.”

“I got a question last night in the e-mail: ‘Does nothing bother you? Do you care about anything? All you do is make fun of everything people are concerned about.’ I think the question was legitimate.”

“I contend that to write half of what he wrote, Shakespeare had to be stoned, but nevertheless.”

“By itself, what does sitting around caring about something accomplish? I find that most people — particularly people on the left — want plaudits because they think of themselves as superior people just because they care.”

“Cramming it down the throats of the liberals is what happens here on this program, and sometimes we do it with irreverent humor. By the way, I love you Diane Sawyer.”

“Obama doesn’t think the United States has any moral authority in places like Libya. In fact, I would venture to say that if you get Obama to be honest, he’d tell you that there have been times in our history when we have been Libya. He probably thinks, ‘Who are we telling Khadafy what to do?'”

“When a wimp seeks to prove his manhood, look out.”

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