RUSH: Dee Dee Myers was in Fairfield, Connecticut, last Wednesday night at Fairfield University. There was a forum there on the 2010 midterm elections. By the way, it’s not looking good in that Senate race for Blumenthal. What’s his first name? I can’t remember his first… (interruption) Richard, yeah. Dick Blumenthal. Richard. (doing Dick Blumenthal impression) ‘I’m proud of my service. I am proud of the time I spent in Vietnam. I’m proud of my service.’ I saw the guy over the weekend He looks like a skeleton with skin. You don’t trust people like that. ‘I’m prude of my service.’ He’s up nine points over Linda McMahon according to the latest polls and it’s about the same in California with Moonbeam over Meg Whitman.
So a lot of people are saying, ‘Well, Rush, how big is this victory going to be? If we can’t beat the Democrats in this year in California, as far gone as California is, if we can’t beat somebody like Jerry Brown…’ Those two races are not the test. Those two races are not the test and yet they’re the ones, if you read the news today, those are the two races that are being highlighted by the media as evidence here that this Republican landslide, this onslaught is not going to be exactly what it is shaking out to be. So they’re running conflicting stories, all designed to get you spinning and depressed and calling here and saying, ‘Rush, why are the Republicans doing this?’ and they’re setting up a big story next Wednesday about how: ‘Wow, you know what? The Republicans, yeah, they won, but not nearly, not nearly like everybody thought. The Tea Party, ho-hum.
‘They’re not that big a deal.’ They don’t have any substance. All they’ve got is mind games and they’re in the midst of playing… Anyway, Dee Dee Myers, former Clinton White House press secretary, I mean these people, for some reason, no matter where they go they have me on the brain. I live rent free in their heads. When was the last time we mentioned Dee Dee Myers on this program? I don’t know. It’s been years since we mentioned Dee Dee Myers on this program. I might have played an audio sound bite of Dee Dee Myers in the past six months or so but I don’t even remember that. So why in the world am I on Dee Dee Myers’ mind in Fairfield, Connecticut, at a forum on the 2010 midterm elections?
AUDIENCE: (cackling)
MYERS: It seems that Rush was visiting Washington not too long ago, and he was out jogging along the Potomac River, because he is obviously a fitness buff and —
AUDIENCE: (cackling)
MYERS: He was going along, and he came on these three girls who were riding their bikes, and they recognized him, and they waved, and he was very flattered that these young girls recognized him, and he waved back and somehow became very distracted by all this, and he slipped, and he fell into the river. Not to worry. The girls saw the whole thing, and they raced over on their bikes, and they pulled Rush out of the river, and they revived him. And he was so grateful, he said, ‘Girls, what can I do to repay you? I’m so grateful for your having saved me.’ And one of the girls looked at him and she said, ‘Mr. Limbaugh,’ she said, ‘I know this is a tall order, but you’re a powerful man.’ He said, ‘What is it?’ ‘She said, ‘I’d like to be buried at Arlington National Cemetery.’ And he said, ‘You can’t be more than ten years old. Why on earth are you thinking about where you want to be buried?’ She said, ‘When I get home and tell my mom who I just saved…’
AUDIENCE: (laughter)
RUSH: Now, we haven’t talked about Dee Dee Myers since her last DUI and I don’t remember when that was. All I remember was her husband had to go get her out of jail. But it’s been a long time.
BREAK TRANSCRIPT
RUSH: By the way, you know, Dee Dee Myers’ joke: I’m not a Washington character, and I have no say so over who gets buried in Arlington National Cemetery. Dee Dee Myers ought to know who specializes in getting people buried at Arlington National Cemetery would be Bill Clinton, especially if the price was right. Well, Snerdley, remember all the stories, you paid up, you got a burial plot at Arlington National Cemetery? And that’s right, I am Rush Limbaugh doing more for Hillary 2012 than she could do for herself in a lifetime. Reverse Operation Chaos.
BREAK TRANSCRIPT
RUSH: Here’s John in Mishawaka, Indiana. Great to have you on EIB Network, and welcome.
CALLER: Hey, Rush, I just thought I’d give you a call and let you know that the joke with, you know, buried in Arlington cemetery is not even an original joke. It was originally put out right after the election after Obama won, and it was Obama that actually fell in the river, and three boys rescued him. And basically along the same lines. She shortened it up. He gave the first two boys some stuff, and the third kid asked for a wheelchair because when his dad finds out, he’s gonna put him in a wheelchair.
RUSH: Yeah.
CALLER: So it wasn’t even an original joke on her part.
RUSH: Well, not surprised.
CALLER: Nor am I. But I just thought I’d let you know. As soon as she started telling the joke you were airing it, I was like, ‘She couldn’t even come up with something on her own.’
RUSH: Now, am I on the ballot in Connecticut?
CALLER: Connecticut?
RUSH: Yeah, am I on the ballot there? Is there a reason —
CALLER: I don’t know, are you running there?
RUSH: I don’t even live there, no —
CALLER: But, yeah, you know, they gotta attack somebody. Since you’re the leading voice of the conservatives —
RUSH: Well, you know, here’s the thing. You go back, I mean the first leadership meeting that Obama had with the congressional leadership after he was immaculated, John Boehner is in there and Mitch McConnell, and Obama says to these guys, ‘Now, look, you gotta stop listening to Rush Limbaugh. That’s not how things get done in Washington.’ That was their first attempt to demonize me as the titular head of the Republican Party. Now, I should, could, and will say to Mitch McConnell and John Boehner and any other Republican inside the Beltway, ‘Don’t listen to President Obama. That’s not how things should get done in Washington.’