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Rush Limbaugh

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RUSH: Tomorrow is Obama’s birthday. Not that we’ve seen any proof of that, but tomorrow is Obama’s birthday, and they’re trying to rally Obama’s base by sending out fundraising letters — (interruption) what? What, Snerdley, what? We haven’t seen any proof of that. They tell us August 4th is the birthday. We haven’t seen any proof of it. Sorry. It is what it is.

Maxine Waters, in a statement released yesterday, said, ‘I have not violated any House rules.’ Who the hell is she kidding? She violated the most important House ethics rule of all, she got caught. She of course has violated some House rules.

Folks, listen to some of these headlines, good afternoon, good morning, Obamaville. Good morning to all of you living in America. ‘Woman Sprayed with Human Semen at Grocery Store.’ ‘Disabled Veteran Banned After Service Dog Poops in Aisles.’ ‘False Witness: Black Church Stages Fight to See How White Police Officer Responds; Cop Injured.’ ‘Shock Video: Naked Man Beaten Outside Bar; No Charges.’ ‘Newsweek Sold for a Dollar.’ One dollar! Meanwhile, we here at the EIB Network continue to show increases. They sold for a dollar and the assumption of all the debt. One dollar. One dollar. I bid 50 cents and I was outbid. One dollar for Newsweek magazine and the partisan political operatives known as the so-called mainstream media, look at how everything around them is crumbling, they are crumbling. One dollar for Newsweek.

Here’s another one for you from the Sunday Atlanta Urinal-Constipation: ‘Unhappy Robber: Gunman Calls Restaurant to Gripe.’ This is from Sunday. The guy holds up Wendy’s, they only had 586 bucks so he called ’em back and he gave ’em grief. He said next time they better have more than 586 bucks when he comes in to hold ’em up. Is this not the entitlement mentality run fully amuck here? Guy walks into a Wendy’s and expects there to be a big haul and when there isn’t, gets ticked off and calls ’em back? ‘Frustrated Swedish Man Sews Up His Own Leg After Long Emergency Room Wait.’ That woman sprayed with human semen at grocery store. (interruption) How did it happen? Visualize it. Doesn’t matter whose semen. The question is was the guy trying to get her pregnant? What kind of level of intelligence are we dealing with here?

And then: ‘Americans Swap Passports; Desire to Avoid Tax Leads Some to Renounce Citizenship.’ This is a serious thing. There are waiting lines. There are waiting lines in the UK for Americans wanting to get rid of their passports and renounce their citizenship. I don’t know how you save on taxes doing that, but apparently you can. Apparently you do. We’ll look into it in greater detail. What is the most prized SUV among thieves? Right on. The Cadillac Escalade, the 2007, 2008, 2009 Cadillac Escalade has been stolen more than any other vehicle. Car thieves are going the extra mile to get one. The average price is 62 grand for one of these. ‘The Escalade has an antitheft ignition immobilizer that prevents it from being started without a special key. … But thieves just haul it away on a flatbed truck. One in every 100 Escalades is stolen and one in every four Escalade thefts has a claim for $40,000 or more.’

Let me put this in perspective. Here you have the Cadillac Escalade fully loaded. I mean this is a big mamma jamma, and it costs 62 grand. For only $19,000 less you can buy a lawn mower with four seats on the top and get 40 miles to a charge. How about that pricing? Forty-one thousand before the federal government tax rebate for a lawn mower. Sixty-two grand for the most popular theft item in all of motor vehicledom, the Cadillac Escalade. By the way, the Wendy’s robber called back twice. (laughing) I need to point that out. He was so ticked off, and then, look, I mean this is not even Port St. Lucie where they didn’t have McNuggets, calling 911. This is a genuine thief ticked off they didn’t have enough money in the cash register when he ripped ’em off and promised to come back and they better have more.

From Lebanon, Ohio: ‘An Ohio woman accused of posing’ welcome to Obama’s America, by the way, folks ‘as a teenage boy to have sexual relations with a 16-year-old girl has been charged with sexual imposition and other misdemeanors.’ You ever heard of that crime? Never until today have I heard of sexual imposition. I always thought that was rape. I’m not making it up. Ohio woman accused of posing as a teenage boy to have sexual relations with a 16-year-old girl, charged with sexual imposition. ‘Warren County prosecutor’s spokesman Matt Nolan said Monday that 31-year-old Patricia Dye was charged in juvenile court with sexual imposition, attempted sexual imposition and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. A grand jury in Lebanon declined to indict the Franklin woman on felony charges. Dye was arrested June 30 and remains in jail under $100,000 bond. A telephone message left at her attorney’s office hasn’t been returned.’ Now, do you want to know how weird this is? Here is a woman posing as a teenage boy to have sexual relations with a 16-year-old girl. Now, even if she had got lucky, even if she had managed to pull this off, did she not think the 16-year-old girl would figure out that she was not a boy? I mean the news, ladies and gentlemen, is just over the top today.

‘Seventy-three percent (73%) of the political class say the country is heading in the right direction.’ Eighty-four percent of us disagree.

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: We have news out of Rio Linda today, and given the other news, Rio Linda actually comes out as normal. Let’s look at some of the other headlines: ‘Woman Sprayed with Human Semen at Grocery Store,’ ‘Disabled Veteran Banned After Service Dog Poops in Aisles,’ ‘Black Church Stages Fight to See How White Police Officer Responds; Cop is Injured,’ ‘Naked Man Beaten Outside Bar; No Charges,’ ‘Gunman Calls Restaurant to Complain After Only $586 in the Cash Register After Holding Them Up,’ and, ‘A Frustrated Swedish Man Sews Up His Own Leg After a Long Emergency Room Wait.’

In the meantime in Rio Linda: ‘A Rio Linda couple were treated for non-life threatening injuries after investigators say a husband pistol-whipped his wife before she grabbed the gun and shot him in the neck Monday evening, according to a Sacramento County Sheriff’s spokesman.’ That’s quite normal. People shooting each other up is quite normal. So Rio Linda has stepped up here. Normally it’s in Rio Linda that people spray semen on each other, but not today. So, Rio Linda, you can feel good about yourselves. You’re actually superior to some of the other oddball kookiness that’s happening elsewhere in Obama’s America.

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