“To put this presidency in real perspective, you need a billboard with a smiling Jimmy Carter that says, ‘Miss Me Yet?'”
“This Algore story is very, very difficult for me to believe. If it’s true, the 2000 election had more of an impact on Gore than we knew. He lost his mind and his pants!”
“If you have to write a story that says Obama took command, it’s obvious that he hadn’t taken command, and I’m still not sure that he has.”
“This program doesn’t inspire violence in any way, shape, matter, or form, on anybody.”
“Governor Chris Christie of New Jersey needs a lot more attention. This guy needs a LOT more attention. People need to listen to this man and what he’s doing and how he’s going about it.”
“I think half the reason Obama leaves the White House is to go get a burger because his wife is making him eat watercress and bamboo in there. He wants to get out and have some real food, have some fries, some onion rings.”
“They get rid of McChrystal because he was insolent, disrespectful, and critical of the president’s policies. They get rid of him and hire Bush’s general, and the same people who are mad at McChrystal for criticizing the policy now say they hope Petraeus can convince Obama to change the policy. Were it not for me, my friends, your head would be spinning.”
“I want just one of them, I don’t care, CNN, Washington Post, New York Times, LA Times, USA Today, Chicago Tribune, I don’t care what paper, I want one of you to put, if not a headline, a subhead: ‘Obama Turns to Bush General.’ It’s the truth. It is precisely what’s happened out there.”
“If somebody wants to go pick up tarballs on the beach, have at it. But for every tarball you pick up today, there’s going to be another one on the beach tomorrow, and it’s not going to be from this oil leak.”
“The greatest fun I have in life, the most fun I have is sharing the great fortune I’ve had as an American.”
