RUSH: This is Jo in Boca Raton, great to have you on the EIB Network. Hello.
CALLER: Hi, Rush. I have a premise before I make my comment.
RUSH: Yeah.
CALLER: I belong to the Church of Scientology, and this weekend we’re gathering together at the church and we’re going to go to the beach with bags, rakes, and shovels and we’re going to collect all the oil that washes up on the shore. My question is what have you done to help protect the environment?
RUSH: What have I done to help protect the environment? I’m alive. I live a lifestyle that uses the resources of the earth as God intended them to be used. You know what? I save turtles. I turn off my lights at night. I’ve been picking up tarballs off my beach on Palm Beach since 1997, before there was an oil spill. Tarballs wash up on my beach all the time because there’s always oil in the ocean. I also have my air-conditioning in my large house set at 68 degrees so that everybody working in there is productive and they are comfortable. Inside my house at night, I have all the lights turned on, and outside in front I have all the lights turned on. I have security cameras and security beams. I’m using electricity that is plentiful; I am paying for it, for the security of myself and my family. I am paying my taxes. I am paying the full retail price for every service I acquire. That’s what I’m doing.
I also employ about 150 people. I bonus them all at holidays. I have not fired anybody and I have not sent anybody to a beach to pick up tarballs to make them think they’re doing something for the environment. My people are productive and work, and my company has not had a down year in 21 years, despite the economic cycles of our country and despite the abominable leadership that we have in the Oval Office right now. That’s what I’m doing. What are you doing? You’re gonna go out there and pick up tarballs. What are you going to do with them? I also, ladies and gentlemen, saved you from the global warming hoax. I, the largest voice in the world exposing the hoax, saving millions of people millions of dollars and saving them from reducing their lifestyle over a full-fledged lying hoax. I speak up for liberty and freedom on a daily basis. I am about optimism, achievement, good cheer, happiness and contentment and the pursuit of all of it. What are you doing? I also take a lot of vacation time every year, and I enjoy it. But I don’t overdo it. Sometimes I talk too much about golf on the program. But aside from that, you have just called Mr. Perfection compared to you and what you think you’re doing to save what you cannot save in the first place.
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RUSH: By the way, just so you know, that woman was on hold since the beginning of the program, and she said she wanted to talk about my press release today from Janet Napolitano ordering no longer is it the Gulf oil spill, it’s a BP-caused disaster. That’s what she said she wanted to talk about, so that woman, in addition to being a sophist was also a liar, attempting to trick the host. But you can’t do that. I’ve seen every trick tried. I’m a highly trained broadcast specialist. She said she’s a Scientologist, I don’t know what that has to do with anything. She’s going to go pick up tarballs, (imitating woman) ‘and what are you doing? What are you doing to help people?’
Well, I would say, Jo, what are you doing to contribute to this economy? What are you doing to grow the economy? What are you doing to ensure that we have the resources, the wealth, and the material available to help other people? You seem so devoted to helping other people, it takes resources to help other people, what are you doing to help produce them, Jo? What are you doing to produce these resources? I don’t know what you’re producing by going out and picking up tarballs, which are there every day of the week for the last gazillion years. I don’t know what in Sam Hill — and there is a Sam Hill — you are doing to help anybody by picking up tarballs. Why don’t you go get an oil soaked pelican and clean it up? See, these people, ‘What are you doing to help people?’ Class and dignity prevent me from detailing it, but it’s a hell of a lot. We’re outta time. It’s a good thing, too.
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RUSH: I would say one thing to the Church Lady who called us in the last hour. ‘What are you too good to help people? I’m going to the beach to pick up tarballs!’ What are you doing to help people?’ Well, I’m doing everything I can to expose and stop President Obama from destroying jobs and livelihoods in the Gulf of Mexico where you’re going to go pick up tarballs and everywhere else. Do you understand, Church Lady, your president is shutting down commerce? He’s going to cause the loss of a hundred thousand jobs or more in the Gulf with his stupid drilling moratorium, and I am everything I can to expose it. What’s the president doing to help anybody? That’s who you need to be calling, Church Lady. ‘What are you doing to help, Mr. Obama?’ Who’s Obama obstructing today? Who’s he undermining today? Which governor, which law is Obama ignoring today, Church Lady?
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RUSH: By the way, Church Lady, ‘What have you done to help? I’m now collecting tarballs on the beach. What have you done to help?’ I have also largely killed the newspaper business, saving untold numbers of trees. Let’s go to the phones quickly. Give me line two. We got a guy on from Staten Island, his name is Joe. Thank you for calling, sir, and welcome to the EIB Network.
CALLER: Thank you, Rush, for taking my call. You gave one of the greatest answers I’ve ever heard. I happen to work for the same kind of people like you: We work hard, we send our money on the weekends, we do everything we can do to make our boss happy and make him more money. The more he makes, the more we make, the money keeps going around in circles and the economy gets moving.
RUSH: It’s called economic stimulus.
CALLER: And when I heard you answer, I was shocked. I had to pull over and try calling you. I never tried calling anybody in my life. I called and I went through. It must be a godsend. God bless you.
RUSH: Thank you. Thank you very much.
CALLER: All right.
RUSH: That’s great.
CALLER: Bye.
RUSH: I had a friend call me — well, nobody ‘calls me’ except on this show. He e-mailed me. He said, ‘You know that, I’ve never heard that before. You keep the air-conditioning at 68 degrees so that your employers are comfortable and productive. That’s brilliant! That’s going to tick ’em off even more.’ But I do — year round, by the way. (interruption) In fact, ladies and gentlemen, here’s another thing. That’s very true, Dawn. I happen to live on the ocean. Those of us who live on the ocean face special circumstances in keeping all of our equipment running well ’cause of the salt air. So I have an air-conditioning system at home that does not use outdoor compressors because those things have to be, on the beach, replaced every five years. That would be pointless. It would be useless. It would be wasting resources. So I have a water-based tower air-conditioning system much like you would find in a commercial building, and it’s really great. Every room, if you want heat in this room, turn it on. Air-conditioning, turn it on. Set the thermostat to whatever you want, and it gets there. And it uses well water, not water from the town, depriving some people of quenching their thirst. I also air-condition my garages so that the cars are protected from the salt air — and also so that when I go out at night all dressed up I don’t destroy myself in 150-degree garage getting in the car waiting for the air conditioner to cool down. ‘Wow, aren’t you wasting money?’ No! I’m living my life. And I’m paying for every cent of it. And for every cent I pay somebody’s on the other end of it benefiting. And the piece de resistance is the earth is not being harmed, not by me.
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RUSH: So the Church Lady calls last hour: ‘I’m going to pick up tarballs on the beach. What are you doing to help people?’ I’ll tell you something else, Church Lady, I did. I traded in my G4 for a Gulfstream 550 because it costs $400 an hour less to operate, saving the planet carbon emissions. I support nuclear energy. I also offer people free rides on my airplane, those that don’t beg for them. I pretty much share my good fortune. In fact, Church Lady, the greatest fun I have in life, the most fun I have is sharing the great fortune I’ve had as an American. If somebody wants to go pick up tarballs on the beach, have at it. But for every tarball you pick up today, there’s going to be another one on the beach tomorrow, and it’s not going to be from this oil leak. And if you think you’re helping people, go have at it.
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RUSH: Gary in north Georgia, great to have you on the Excellence in Broadcasting Network.
CALLER: Rush, Rush, back to the subject of productivity. Would you like to know what I’m doing for the environment today?
RUSH: Tell me.
CALLER: I am delivering the iPhones today. I’m out here — and listen, I just want to thank you for helping me get it done.
RUSH: Are you a FedEx driver?
CALLER: Yes, sir.
RUSH: FedEx! Boy, people are never going to be happier to see you show up in the neighborhood than today.
CALLER: Oh, I’ve had people say, ‘This is not the first one you delivered yet, is it?’ I said, ‘No, I got a ton of them.’ But anyway, Rush, I’ve been trying to get through to you ever since I heard you claim credit for helping to increase worker productivity, and I can attest that is very true. I turn you on — hey, would you like to know the hours —
RUSH: Yeah.
CALLER: — in which my stops per hour are at its highest?
RUSH: Yeah, when are they?
CALLER: Twelve to 1500.
RUSH: Twelve to 1500, that’s when you get more deliveries done?
CALLER: That’s when my stops per hour skyrocket.
RUSH: I appreciate that.
CALLER: And I thank you.
RUSH: Thank you, Gary. Appreciate it. So there’s a guy, FedEx driver, more productive from noon to three than at any time in the day delivering iPhones today, and I guarantee you he’s the most liked guy in the neighborhood today, too.