Rush Limbaugh

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RUSH: I just saw this one up on MessNBC, so I had to go get it. Here’s the headline: ‘Rove, GOP Plot Vast Network to Reclaim Power — The Republican Party’s best-connected political operatives have quietly built a massive fundraising, organizing and advertising machine based on the model assembled by Democrats early in the decade, and with the same ambitious goal — to recapture Congress and the White House.’ Who knew? Who knew? Well, yeah, since I am Republican leader Rush Limbaugh, I must have known about this. We were hoping to keep the fact that we want to reclaim power secret. I don’t know how it leaked. Can you imagine? We did everything we could to keep the fact that we want to try to win back the House and the White House! We didn’t want anybody to know that and somehow it’s leaked out and now the whole plan’s blown to smithereens because they know that’s what we want to do.
The Politico, they’re really on the case. The Politico’s discovered it. I don’t know who’s leaking, it might have been Rove; it could have been Gillespie. I don’t know who is leaking this. Doesn’t everybody know that the only way that you can get the White House back is to make sure nobody knows that’s what you’re trying to do? Doesn’t everybody know the only way we can win the House back is to make sure that nobody has any idea that that’s our objective? But somebody in our group is talking! (interruption) Well, I will deal with them harshly when I find out who it is. I mean, imagine, folks! We’ve been working on this — I myself — for 20 years. I’ve been working for 20 years on amassing power at the highest levels of the government, and somebody has blown the scheme now by saying this is what we want to do! (sigh) Let’s see what else this story says.

What else am I going to have to deal with here? ‘The new groups could give Republicans and their allies a powerful campaign apparatus separate from the Republican National Committee. Karl Rove, political architect of the Bush presidency, and Ed Gillespie, former Republican Party chairman, are the most prominent forces behind what is, in effect, a network of five overlapping groups, three of which were started in the past few months. The operating assumption of Rove, Gillespie and the other organizers is that despite the historical dominance of Republican fundraising and organizing, the GOP has been outmaneuvered by Democrats and their allies in recent years, and it is time to strike back. ‘Where they have a chess piece on the board, we need a chess piece on the board,’ said Gillespie,’ who’s talking; tisk, tisk.

”Where they have a queen, we shouldn’t have three pawns.’ The network, which doesn’t have a name, attempts to replicate the Democracy Alliance, an umbrella group — founded in 2005 and funded by George Soros and other billionaires — and to borrow tactics from liberal groups established to help Democrats regain power after eight years of the Bush administration. … Rove, currently on a book tour,’ to disguise his movements ‘has provided ‘a laying-on of hands’ for the groups — as one organizer put it — by encouraging major Republican donors to support them as part of the GOP’s path to revival. ‘Karl has always said: People call us a vast right-wing conspiracy, but we’re really a half-[baked] right-wing conspiracy,’ he said. ‘Now, he wants to get more serious.” Well, I’ve read the whole story, and my name has not surfaced, nor has the time of our next meeting, nor has the location of our next meeting been leaked.

If it’s been leaked, The Politico didn’t publish that. (sigh) Man I don’t know, folks. I told you this day started off strange, that everything that everybody else thought was interesting was boring to me and I didn’t quite understand what the relevance was. Now my life’s work, defeating Democrats, has leaked. For 20 years, I’ve managed to keep that a secret. For 20 years, my plot to regain political power has been a secret that nobody knew. But now somebody in our group is talking, and here it is right in the headline: ‘Rove, GOP Plot Vast Network to Reclaim Power.’ We wanted them to think we were happy, you know, being chump change. (tearing up article) Now they know that what we want to do is win elections. I don’t know how this happened, but I’m going to have to really work on it. I’m going to have to go back to the drawing board on this, because when that kind of stuff leaks out — when somebody as powerful as The Politico realizes that our objective here is to win elections — we got a problem.


RUSH: You know, it’s a shame that the producers, the owners of the rights to the movie Downfall, where Hitler discovers that it’s all falling apart on him, what a great Hitler Downfall tape this would be, the discovery by the Politico of a sinister plan hatched by me and Rove and Gillespie to win elections. Can you imagine Hitler going berserk when his aides tell him that instead of just sitting idly by and accepting defeat we were actually going to try to win an election or two, and Hitler blowing up. Oh, yes, my friends, it was a sinister plot that we had concocted. We kept it secret here for a number of years, but those intrepid reporters at The Politico have uncovered our master plan, our secret plot.

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