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“Obama was the most unprepared and ill-informed person in that room. Our guys know more about Obama’s health care bill than he does. That was made patently obvious.”

“The whole notion of not teaching history, I know exactly what that’s about. That is about making sure that those kids don’t have slightest idea what America really is all about, what it has been, and what it can still be.”

“MSNBC cut away from Obama’s summit. They were showing hockey on the Obama network. Women’s hockey to boot!”

“This whale is a serial killer whale. It’s killed three humans so far, and in every instance they think the whales are just playing and they don’t know their own strength.”

“People have been asking me, ‘Who’s going to judge pole dancing at the Olympics?’ Easy! Eliot Spitzer, Client No. 9. Bill Clinton. Anybody who goes to strip clubs is going to have to be a judge, right? Tiger. John Edwards. There’s an endless list of people.”

“If everybody that sells insurance is screwing everybody, how many people did Senator Harkin screw when he sold insurance?”

“Oh, can we JIP this? I didn’t even know he was there. It’s Tom ‘Dung Heap’ Harkin speaking. I just want to hear a little bit. It’s gotta be good.”

“What the Democrats were hoping for in this summit is that the Republicans would look like stuffed-shirt, mean-spirited, uncompromising, hateful extremists who don’t care if people lack health insurance; who don’t care if people aren’t getting health coverage; who don’t care if people are dying.”

“The leader of this charade is the most inexperienced, unqualified guy in the room. His name is Barack Obama.”

“Have you noticed how all these Republicans sound just like the Democrats at this thing today? You missed that, Snerdley? Well, then you obviously don’t have your mind right or it’s not screwed on properly, because there’s no difference. Big difference my foot.”

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