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RUSH: I wonder who’s gonna break to the news to the guy that it’s water vapor? Hi, folks. It’s Friday. Let’s get rolling. Oh, goody, goody gumdrops. We’re wrapping up the week as the GDP numbers are being manipulated showing a 5.7% growth in the last quarter of 2009, but the real money doesn’t seem to be believing this. The Dow Jones Industrial Average is down ten points. It’s been flirting between up 5 to 15. Now it’s down ten. Oh, NASDAQ is down 11. Somehow I don’t think people are buying that. The reason why, folks, is because most of the GDP reported growth is in inventories, and those are not a reliable thing. You can’t stake a recovery (at least from what I’m reading) on inventories, because they can just as easily take a day or take a month off as well. If there are no customers to buy what their inventorying up, then you’re not going to keep inventory — and there aren’t going to be new customers because there isn’t any employment growth. So I think that’s what the smart money knows. You’ve got record profits at Microsoft. You got Apple with that iTampon that they released that’s going to be a big popular thing, and still stocks are not going through the roof — and that’s where the real money in the US economy is going right now. It’s the only place real money is going.

Anyway, it’s Open Line Friday. Great to have you here, Rush Limbaugh and the EIB Network.

We are in Las Vegas and we have one more day to go for the Miss America 2010 pageant. The finals are tomorrow at eight o’clock eastern on the TLC cable network. Us judges have a big day tomorrow. It’s such a big day tomorrow that we have today off. We meet tomorrow morning to pare down to the final 15. But even we won’t know who they are until the program starts. We don’t know anything. We find out who wins when you do, and we’re not allowed to speak with each other about what we’ve seen or how we’re scoring. We’re just as in the dark as you are. I mean, we’re determining what happens but we’re still as in the dark about the outcome as you are until the program airs and the new Miss America is crowned.

Open Line Friday again, 800-282-2882 if you want to be on the program. This is the day where pretty much whatever you want to talk about is fair game. If I haven’t talked about it and you want to talk about it, this is the day to go for it. (interruption) No, it’s not really called the Apple iTampon, but it’s the iPad. I made the remark when I first saw it named the iPad, ‘It sounds like a menstrual device,’ and then a bunch of bloggers actually gave it the name ‘iTampon’ and they’ve even created a graphic with a retail package of tampons that says ‘iPad’ on them with the Apple logo — and it’s too late to change the name. I mean, here they’ve got this really great, first-of-its-kind, innovative product, and people are making fun of the name. This just doesn’t happen to Apple much. They didn’t like iSlate. They didn’t like iTablet. So they settled on iPad.

Anyway… I wonder how, ladies and gentlemen, former Vice President Algore felt today to awaken and find out that on his global warming team is none other than — Dadelut dadelut dadelut dadelut dadelut! — Osama Bin Laden. ‘Osama Bin Laden,’ on his own network, al-Jazeera, ‘Deplores Climate Change — Osama bin Laden, the al-Qaeda leader, has condemned the US and other industrial economies, holding them responsible for the phenomenon of climate change.’ (laughing) I mean, we gotta give him a Nobel Prize! (interruption) Yeah, Israel’s in there, too. We have to sign this guy up for a Nobel Peace Prize. He should be a joint recipient. I mean, he has the same view on this that Algore has and the United Nations’ IPCC, whatever the hell that group is. The Interplanetary Alien Whatever, I don’t know. It’s the fraud bunch.

Now, you would think that Bin Laden would be grateful for a warmer world because he lives in a cave. He lives in a freezing cave somewhere on the Afghanistan-Pakistan border. But every day, folks, I’m telling you… This is so rich. I love this. Every day it gets harder and harder to tell Bin Laden’s complaints from those of the average, run-of-the-mill leftists like Obama or Harry Reid or Nancy Pelosi or the entire Democrat Party. I mean, every time Osama realizes a tape it’s just Democrat talking points. Or maybe they’re getting their talking points from him. ‘In an audio tape obtained by Al Jazeera,’ it was probably hand-delivered, ‘bin Laden criticized George Bush, the former US president, for rejecting the Kyoto pact and condemned global corporations.’

(laughing) Okay: Blame Bush? Check. ”This is a message to the whole world about those responsible for climate change and its repercussions — whether intentionally or unintentionally — and about the action we must take,’ bin Laden said.’ (laughing) We! Must! Take! (laughing) ‘Speaking about climate change…’ This is a guy who lives in the seventh century! ”Speaking about climate change is not a matter of intellectual luxury — the phenomenon is an actual fact.” Okay: Global warming is settled science? Check. ‘In the new recording, bin Laden says ‘all the industrial states’ are to blame for climate change, ‘yet the majority of those states have signed the Kyoto Protocol and agreed to curb the emission of harmful gases’.

‘He continued: ‘However, George Bush junior,’ (laughing) ‘preceded by (the US) [C]ongress, dismissed the agreement to placate giant corporations. And they are themselves standing behind speculation, monopoly and soaring living costs.’ (laughing) Does this not sound like an average Democrat? It sounds like this could easily be Russ Feingold, the Senator from Wisconsin. ”They are also behind ‘globalization and its tragic implications’. And whenever the perpetrators are found guilty, the heads of state rush to rescue them using public money.” Okay: Blame the US and greedy, evil corporations? Check. Check. This is right off the Democrat Party playbook. Bin Laden has become an environmentalist! ‘In the new recording, bin Laden said: ‘Noam Chomsky (the US academic and political commentator) was correct when he compared the US policies to those of the Mafia.’

Okay: Cites Noam Chomsky? Check. The only thing I’d ask is: Why didn’t he cite Saul Alinsky? I mean, more people probably know who Saul Alinsky is now than Chomsky. Anyway, ‘They are the true terrorists and therefore we should refrain from dealing in the US dollar and should try to get rid of this currency as early as possible. ‘I am certain that such actions will have grave repercussions and huge impact.” So: Calls America ‘the true terrorists’ and wants a boycott against the US dollar? Check. Check. It’s right off the Democrat Party talking points. ‘While continuing to attack America, bin Laden’s comments mark a shift from his earlier, more regionally focused commentary. In his previous tape, bin Laden warned that there would be further attacks on the US unless Barack Obama … took steps to resolve the Palestinian conflict.’

Oh, Palestinian conflict? Yes. Forget that. That’s passe because Obama said: I can’t fix it; that’s too ‘hard.’ So: Now climate change is where it’s at? Check. Maybe Osama wants a government grant. That’s right. Why not, since we’re about to put a chicken in every pot and a car bomb in every garage in Afghanistan? (chuckling) Don’t you remember, folks, we told you the other day that the administration is studying very seriously an idea put forward by Hamid Karzai to float $100 million to the Taliban, under the theory that they’re poor and if we just give ’em some money that they’ll abandon their terrorist activities? And Gordon Brown, the prime minister of the UK, is already in line to do this. So if we join here, we have a new way to fight our enemy. So we’ll put a chicken in every pot and a car bomb in every garage in Afghanistan, plus build the garages to put the cars and car bombs in. Then they’ve love us for sure, right?

Now, ‘The Obama administration dismissed bin Laden’s comments on the earlier tape and said intelligence analysts had not confirmed that the voice was that of bin Laden.’ Wait a minute, now. This can’t be. This is the piece de resistance! Is Obama actually now starting to throw doubts on whether bin Laden is alive? ‘The Obama…’ (muttering) Obama ‘analysts had not confirmed the voice was that of bin Laden.’ What’s that? What’s that? Bin Laden may be dead? Is that going to be the lame excuse now for not finding him after more than a year? Do you realize, ladies and gentlemen, that every time we learn something — every time something happens with global warming — I just eat it up because it’s a hoax? There’s nothing better than the world’s foremost terrorist citing almost verbatim the talking points of Algore, the UN climate change organization, that stupid bunch at the East Anglia University, and every liberal Democrat and activist in this country!

I say, I wonder how…? See, even Bin Laden realizes that global warming is about destroying the US economy — and along with it, capitalism and Western civilization in general. So our #1 enemy is actually urging us to do the same thing the American left is doing, from the White House on down. So Bin Laden promotes ‘decapitate’ and trade, which we conservatives also oppose. This is another reason that we think Obama — Osama! Osama! If I have said ‘Obama’ meaning ‘Osama,’ you know what I meant. How many times have I done that? (interruption) A lot? (interruption) Okay. Well, you know what I meant. It’s one consonant in there that’s confusing me a little bit. Now, along the lines here of this, there are two stories today. A bunch of scientists are panicked over why the temperature of the globe is cooling as much as 25%.

They have discovered it now: Up there at a certain level of the atmosphere, there’s water vapor depreciation. There’s not as much water vapor. Now, for those of you who are regular listeners to this program, you know that the number one contributor to the whole concept of global warming is not CO2. It is water vapor. Water vapor accounts for over 90% of that which keeps the planet warm. So there’s a decrease of it up there in the atmosphere. But they said, ‘It doesn’t matter! It just doesn’t matter because it’s still warming. But this explains it. It’s not sunspots; it’s water vapor.’ So somebody is going to have to wake up Bin Laden today. He’s got a very, very slow Internet connection, I guess. I don’t think he’s heard about the hoax at East Anglia University.

I don’t think he’s heard about the hoax involving the Himalayan glaciers. I don’t think he’s heard about the hoax. So he’s obviously working on a seventh century Internet connection as well. But somebody’s going to have to wake him up and give him this bad news about water vapor; that it’s not the US — unless somebody can make the case that we are destroying the water vapor. I wouldn’t want to be the guy to have to wake him up and tell him. And joyous Reuters today: ‘US Formally Embraces a Copenhagen Climate Deal.’ Again, I don’t think Osama’s getting the latest news updates before he puts his words to tape. Now, this is a toothless thing. ‘Washington said they’re going to embrace the Copenhagen accord, setting nonbinding goals for reducing greenhouse gas emissions that was negotiated last month.’

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