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“The first contingent of over 60 members of my family arrives today for the Thanksgiving week. It’s going to be an interesting week here, folks.”

“The Wall Street Journal today has a special section on ’50 Women to Watch,’ and none of the ’50 Women to Watch’ married a former president in order to get their job at the top of the heap. Mrs. Clinton will never be able to say that.”

“I have great trust and faith that the damage we’ve incurred against Al-Qaeda is far greater than anybody really knows; it just hasn’t been reported. I’m an optimistic guy.”

“The first time my father saw me on television I was debating Algore, and during the first commercial break he turned to my mother and said, ‘Where did he learn this? He didn’t go toschool.’ My mother said, ‘From you, silly.’ He was a brilliant man.”

“I don’t know how to milk a rat. And even if I knew how to milk a rat, I don’t know that I would want to do it.”

“Mrs. Clinton is strictly there as a candidate because she didn’t divorce her husband. In fact, if her last name weren’t Clinton, she’d be the dean of some all-girls’ school in Albania.”

“What is so funny in there, Snerdley? You have some idiot on the phone? Well, it’s Thanksgiving week. You have to figure this is not a period of normalcy, Mr. Snerdley. Go with it.”

“I don’t mean this to sound perverse, but I actually thank God that I became addicted to pain pills, because the process of going through rehab taught me more about myself than I had ever known.”

“I’m getting loads of e-mails about our simulcast with Martha MacCallum: ‘Hey, Rush, I noticed that you and Martha didn’t chat during the breaks. What gives? Don’t you like her?’ You know, I am stunned at the image you people must have of me.”

“I’ve made this claim very public: I am not retiring until every American agrees with me — and there’s work still to be done on this.”

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