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“We need a ribbon for this new staph germ. We have ribbons for everything. If you put those ribbons on, you say, ‘I care more than you do.'”

“I remember when I learned to ride a bike: My dad took me over to the local high school and I ended up scraping the knuckles of my right hand on the brick wall of the school as I was learning to balance. But never once did I think of going to the hospital or calling a reporter.”

“Well, the Dalai Lama is getting his Congressional Medal of Honor, and the ChiComs are livid about this. That means you can look forward to more lead products being exported to us from China.”

“It was Big Oil that enabled Crosby and Nash and Stills and Young to get from concert to concert,where they may have shown up stoned and notdoneas best they could have in front ofpaying customers. Why is that not obscene?”

“If it costs almost one-third of the entire federal budget to give 54 million people $13,000 a year, what does that tell you? It tells you stop depending on these people — the government — for one thing!”

“How many songs on an album are really worth listening to? If there are twelve songs on an album and you only like two of them, you’ve been ripped off. Let’s face it: over half the songs on every album suck.”

“How about this? ‘Cussing and swearing at work boosts team morale and spirit.’ Man, we’ve known this around the EIB Network for who-knows-how-long. You would not believe the lingo that gets bandied about here behind closed doors!”

“Question: Can anyone who is smeared by Harry Reid on one issue — and smeared by Nancy Pelosi on another — be all that bad?”

“This is the kind of story thatcan really destroy your faith. ‘The sight of an old man being hit by a truck…touched off a feeding frenzy among witnesses who allegedly stole the dying victim’s groceries.’ At least the old man was able to afford groceries in America. The Democrats tell us this is not possible.”

“The only experience Hillary Clinton has with health care is giving birth to Chelsea. She’s even admitted it.”

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