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RUSH: Now NOCIRC. Remember, we still have the audio sound bites of the Drive-By Media analyzing the G20 and the protests, and they are raucous. They are riotous. You don’t want to miss these.

Now, NOCIRC, let me explain what they are. They’re an organization that seeks to stamp out — well, that may be a bad word. Uh, they want to eliminate circumcision. They’re the National Organization of Circumcision Information Resource Centers, and they have videos. They have DVDs they will send you, and they have pamphlets, and they have a guy that runs the organization. I’ll just repeat the story. When I first heard of NOCIRC, the San Francisco group — and I forget the guy’s name that was the leader at the time — I kept thinking, ‘What did this guy tell his parents when he was a teenager when they asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up?’

‘Hey, little Johnny, what do you be when you grow up? You want to be a fireman? You want to be a lawyer, a doctor? What do you want to be?’

(child voice impression) ‘No, dad! No, dad! I want to stamp out circumcision.’

How does somebody end up as the grand pooh-bah, the head honcho (the hatchet man, if you will) of an anti-circumcision organization? Here are the details of the story. This is from Men’s Health. Now, again, you have to read all these stories within the framework that it’s April 1st today, and we still have a lot of childish, immature practical jokers out there. If you’re going to do a practical joke, don’t do it on April 1st. Every professional practical joker such as myself knows: If you really want to pull something off, don’t do it on a day where people are going to immediately doubt it. It’s absolutely silly. Car and Driver has a phony page on the website saying Obama has banned Ford, Chevy, and a bunch of others from NASCAR.

Well, now, who’s going to believe this? Well, that’s not the quite proper way to ask it. All good comedy requires an element of truth in it, and obviously there are people that believe this could come down the pike. But it hasn’t yet. Run this story tomorrow, if you want to play a practical joke on people. At any rate, this is from Men’s Health. It’s by Charles Hirshberg. ‘Should All Males be Circumcised? Some US Doctors are Reconsidering Their Position — The day your wife gives birth to a baby boy, the kind, bespectacled face of Marvin L. Wang, M.D., is one that you want to see coming through the recovery-room door. Co-director of newborn nurseries at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston, Dr. Wang has a perky, conversational bedside manner that puts everyone at ease.

‘I have to hustle to keep up with him as he strides energetically between hospital rooms. Right now he’s congratulating a pair of new parents. … Dr. Wang jokes with the new parents a bit and then says, ‘I understand you may want to have a circumcision for your baby.’ Larry and Joy don’t answer immediately. At last Larry says, ‘Well … we don’t know.’ Dr. Wang smiles. He’s familiar with the befuddled expression on Larry’s face.’ Let me read you a paragraph from the story: ‘Pain, of course, is the first question that comes to mind whenever the words cut and penis are used in the same sentence. ‘Ask Marilyn Fayre Milos about pain — or better yet, don’t. The founder of … NOCIRC.’ Oh, they got a woman now! Ooh, that’s even better. When I first heard of them, NOCIRC had a guy running the show. Now they have a woman running the National Organization of Circumcision Information Resource Centers. Marilyn Fayre Milos ‘first witnessed the procedure in 1979 while training for her nurse’s degree. The unlucky baby, she later wrote, was ‘strapped spread-eagle to a plastic board… struggling against his restraints — tugging, whimpering, and then crying helplessly’ while awaiting the knife. …’

I’m sure the baby remembers every minute of it, and was able to call NOCIRC later and describe the horrible circumstance. Just like the turtle showing up at the turtle hospital in the Keys had got tired of waiting in the emergency room in the turtle hospital; continued to hang around, and finally the dumb staff down there figured out turtle was sick and fixed it. I’m sure that this little baby has recounted the gory details to NOCIRC so that they can write this story. ‘The unlucky baby, she later wrote, was ‘strapped spread-eagle to a plastic board… struggling against his restraints — tugging, whimpering, and then crying helplessly’ while awaiting the knife. Then as the doctor, using no anesthesia, began [the procedure] ‘the baby began to gasp and choke, breathless from his shrill continuous screams…” So there you have it: NOCIRC and Dr. Marvin Wang. If you’re the parents of a newborn baby boy and you haven’t made a decision yet, I suggest you get in touch with Marvin Wang on this at Mass General.

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