RUSH: All right, environmentalist wacko pick time for Sunday’s Super Bowl, the Pittsburgh Steelers versus the Arizona Cardinals. The Cardinals are the home team in the rotating theory they use. They get to wear the red jerseys; the Steelers will be the white. Now, as I explained earlier: In the early days of this program, used to talk football a lot on Friday, pick the games coming up on Sunday, and several malcontents would send me caustic, hate-filled, mean-spirited e-mails, ‘Stop talking about sports! I hate football! Stick to the issues! We don’t listen to you to hear what you think about football or golf, and we don’t care what you do on the weekend. Stick to the issues!’
I mean, they were really vile and vicious e-mails, and of course not wanting to totally abandon the passion I have for the National Football League, I said, ‘Okay, how can I combine the issues with my game picks,’ and ingeniously I came up with the environmentalist wacko method which would look at the games and the teams that were competing against one another that weekend from the standpoint of the wacko animal rights movement, the environmental wackos, the entire left-fringe politically correct movement. How would they choose winners? So I’m going to use the environmentalist wacko method to pick the upcoming Super Bowl on Sunday afternoon.
What do we have here? We have the Steelers versus the Cardinals. What are the Steelers? The Steelers are a huge, big, polluting business that destroyed things with filth. Their tactics have led to lung disease, global warming, and general filth, the pollution of rivers; slave labor jobs, 24/7 working in insufferable conditions at the steel mills; polluting the skies so that people had to take three shirts to work every day if the shirt was white because by noon the shirt would be gray with soot! The byproduct of the work of the Steelers, the industrialists who cared not about the environment, cared not for their city, cared not a whit for the animal life surrounding the mills.
On the other hand, who are the Cardinals? The Cardinals, they’re birds! Innocent beasts of nature struggling to survive as man encroaches upon their habitat. So, if you just stop there, you would say, as the environmentalist wackos look at things in the interests of fairness, that the Cardinals — the innocent beasts of the air — will finally exact revenge against these polluting industrialists who destroyed lives and things! However, ladies and gentlemen, it’s not exactly that way anymore, because the Steelers were also union workers! The Steelers were Big Labor, ladies and gentlemen.
Just this morning at the White House, Big Labor was rewarded by President Obama and Vice President Biden. Also, these birds are no longer just innocent beasts of the sky. These birds can fly into the engines of jet aircraft, as to so happened recently with a US Air flight. They were geese, admittedly, but a bird is a bird. An innocent beast of the sky is an innocent beast of the sky. Who flies these magnificent jetliners and staffs them? Why, Big Labor! Unionized pilots, unionized flight attendants — and we now know that the federal government, along with the states and the cities where there are airports, have begun implementing programs to kill the birds.
Why? Because the birds threaten Big Labor: the pilot, the copilot, and the flight attendants who are flying the jets. We’re going to kill the birds to protect Big Labor, since they were just rewarded in the White House this morning. Therefore, the game is not to be viewed as the polluting industrialist pigs versus the innocent beasts of the air. This game is viewed as these innocent beasts of the air being killers, flying themselves into the jets being flown by union people: the pilot, the copilot, and the flight attendants. (No, the passengers don’t matter.) Therefore, ladies and gentlemen, the Steelers will kill the birds to further the Obama policy of protecting the union pilots and flight attendants. It’s 27-10. Steelers cover.