Rush Limbaugh

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RUSH: So basically what we had today in terms of the FOIA request on presidential records executive orders, we basically had an executive order to the media, ‘Okay, get in gear! Start demanding stuff. Our attorney general will let you have whatever you want on the Bush administration and go to town — and I’m out of it. You guys can handle it.’ That was the message today. Of course, the same thing goes to fellow Democrats, the radical ones (which is most of them) up on Capitol Hill. Now, ladies and gentlemen, I myself — during the commercial break, those of you watching on the Dittocam may have seen me turn to my computer, my Mac Pro. I mean the latest Mac Pro with a 30-inch cinema display. I turned right to it and I issued my own executive order to my marketing people at the EIB Store.

Because I have a thriving merchandise business down there, the Club Gitmo T-shirt, cap, and other assorted things like soap-on-a-rope and other things, little gifts and ideas people can have and walk around. Obama’s executive order today has threatened my thriving merchandise business. This is an example of the kind of stimulus that we’re going to get from the new president, putting one of my businesses out of business? I have one year, supposedly. I have one year left. Therefore, I have issued an executive order to my marketing people at the EIB Store: a brand-new line of Club Gitmo merchandise! We’ll work on the individual designs, but every item — be it the soap-on-a-rope, be it the T-shirts, be it the Club Gitmo caps — will have a phrase: ‘When America Was Safe.’

‘Club Gitmo: When America was safe,’ and we’re going to get this merchandise in the pipeline here. We’re also, ladies and gentlemen, going to have a new logo for Club Gitmo. We’re going to have a swimming pool (which is water) with a diving board, which allows people to ‘waterboard’ at Club Gitmo by diving into the recreational pool via our diving board. That will be one of the new logos. That executive order has gone out from me to the marketing managers at the EIB Store. Here is, ladies and gentlemen, ‘When America Was Safe.’ Now, I can imagine school teachers all over America are pulling their hair out about now. ‘What do you mean, ‘When America Was Safe’?’ There goes Limbaugh again. Well, maybe only one. You wouldn’t believe the audio sound bites I got out of Green Bay today. It wasn’t just Green Bay. I mean, it made other networks. It made Fox.

You know, it was all over the place. Here I’m just minding my own business. You know, I’m the last guy to blame for what happened up there. I don’t have access to the school’s PA system. I don’t have access to the local radio station. They chose to carry our feed, which I am eternally grateful for. I love my affiliates. I love every one of the stations that carry this program. They have made me who I am. I am as loyal to them as I am to anybody else in this whole chain of related links. But I didn’t choose to dial in that station at that school — and, by the way, we let everybody know in advance what we were going to do. This was not a surprise to our affiliates. In fact, let me give you a dirty little secret. You know, folks, I’ll tell you what. We sit here and we take a lot of grief — and, of course, the pioneers take the arrows and I’m used to taking the hits.

I’m used to being the focus of this. Fine and dandy. I know how to deal with it, but I just want you people to know — and H.R. will back me up on this ’cause he got the phone calls. Starting two weeks prior to the election, our affiliates began to call us asking what our plans were for Inauguration Day. They wanted us, a lot of people that called said, ‘Would you carry it and do the commentary during the speech that you usually do?’ They pleaded to us to do this. Many of our affiliates pleaded for that because there was no other show that does this, and it was going to be the same thing was going to be available on thousands of media outlets, but only one media outlet — every EIB station — would have me, analyzing it, at the moment, as it happens, which we are known for here. So they asked us for this. And they asked us to stick with it for as long as necessary without commercial breaks, and we said, ‘Okay. We will do it.’

So in responding to a request from my business partners, I now am the focus of blame, when I had no control whatsoever over what happened up there in Green Bay. I don’t mean to sound like I’m whining. I’m not, ’cause I think this is a teachable moment. I think that is a great educational exercise. It’s another illustration of how the Drive-By Media loves to take things out of context with me and get them all wrong, for the express purpose of trying to discredit and destroy me because they can’t beat me on ideas.


RUSH: A teachable moment. Yesterday, ladies and gentlemen, we had three telephone calls from people, and of course one of them really stood out: the woman Marie from Discovery Bay. She was very sympathetic. She was very emotional, very passionate, and she aroused the concerns of many of you in this audience when she described her situation and her circumstances. Her small business is on the last legs. People don’t have enough money to spend. She wants them to open up their pocketbooks and start spending. Bring the economy back. ‘Give Obama a chance,’ blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It was a very impassioned moment here, but I said, ‘I only know what to say. If you’re going to sit around and wait, you’re going to be waiting. There’s action to be taken.’

It’s a teachable moment here. I have a thriving merchandise business at a resort run by the US Navy, Guantanamo Bay. It’s called the Club Gitmo line, and the government has just thrown me a curve. The government is getting in my way. They’re going to close this resort where I have my thriving merchandise business. What am I doing? (mock crying) Am I whining? Did I go to a lawyer? Did I try to file a lawsuit? No, ladies and gentlemen. As the epitome of capitalism, I have quickly adapted my product line to take advantage of the new and different market! I ought to be teaching marketing at Harvard. I ought to be teaching economics at this middle school in Green Bay. We’re going to have a brand-new Club Gitmo line since they’re closing it down there and the tagline on each piece of merchandise will be ‘When America Was Safe.’

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