“Remember this: the Democrat machine candidate always wins; the upstart insurgents never do. It’s all you need to know. Forget all the polls.”
“The biggest thing for women is not that Hillary is a woman herself — it’s the comeback thing. Women love validation. They love vindication. They love revenge.”
“I’m telling you: Hillary’s emotions were magnetic to the kind of women who are going to think that she was being wronged. Also, don’t discount the fact that Clinton was practically on his knees — no pun intended — out there for his wife.”
“The big loser last night was the Drive-By Media. The only thing is, they haven’t conceded yet.”
“I went to Missouri yesterday for the funeral of my mother’s best friend, Mary Frances Kinder. She was one of the most refined and dignified women ever. And yes, she was in the blue-haired Bloody Mary group.”
“Mr. Snerdley was shouting at me and pounding his desk: ‘Who’s falling for this?’ I said, ‘Look: When you move from Nurse Ratched to human in ten seconds, that is an achievement.’ And it is!”
“The simple fact of the matter is that the Republican roster is filled with people that everybody dislikes something about. The nominee may end up being the guy that the Republicans dislike the least.”
“Back to this ‘iron my shirt’ business… Why not? Why not have the government iron our shirts? Mrs. Clinton has so many plans for us, why not universal laundry?”
“You’ve seen how everybody is whining that the Golden Globes have been canceled? I think it’s probably good news for the environment –these award shows have an incredible carbon footprint.”
“You don’t have to be sexist for a bunch of wound-tight women to think you are.”
