“This is the problem, ladies and gentlemen, with central planning: It only takes a handful of people to be wrong to destroy an economy.”
“Would you all stand up, please? Thank you. I have entered the room. When I enter the room, everybody stands up. Now sit down, please. As soon as I begin, of course, that’s the signal to sit down.”
“Snerdley reminded me of something earlier, and it’s true: This is the first time I went to New York and did not get sick. Zicam, baby, Zicam.”
“‘The potential cost for the government’s efforts to contain the financial crisis now tops $6 trillion.’ Now, the way I interpret this is, we have pumped $6 trillion into somewhere, and it hasn’t mattered, has it?”
“We hear all the time that cigarettes kill, tobacco kills, we can’t advertise it, we have to get Joe Camel out of there. Well, if it’s so bad, ban the product, then! But they won’t ban the product because they won’t do without the tax revenues.”
“If we really want to harm the pirates, we should unionize them. Then they’ll go to their bosses and say, ‘We’re not hijacking more than one ship a week!'”
“You can attach all kinds of conditions you want to things once you hand out money. This is why I don’t accept freebies. I mean, somebody can give me a piece of gum, don’t misunderstand, but I don’t take anything because I don’t want to be obligated, I don’t want the strings.”
“So Obama chose Hillary as secretary of state. It was Hillary who exchanged spit with Yasser Arafat’s wife some years ago, remember that? I mean, that was a wet one!”
“Obama thinks having two-and-a-half million new jobs for the government is going to be very instrumental in reviving the US economy. But if it’s such a good idea, why stop at two-and-a-half million new jobs? Why not just hire every American to work for the government?”
“Ben Bernanke and Hank Paulson — these two guys are the Donovan McNabb of Wall Street.”
