Somali Pirates Thrive, Amuse

RUSH: AP, you have to love the headline: ‘Pirate Economy Thriving.’ (laughing) What, should we all join the Somali pirates? Somali pirates, by the way, hijacked another ship, folks, a Yemeni ship. They were mad that they were aced out in the Citibank bailout. They wanted to join Prince Alwaleed bin Talal, being investor in Citibank and they didn’t get a chance. They’ve done everything they can to cooperate. They started out with a $10 million ransom on the $100 million dollars of oil they hijacked from the Saudis. Then they heard me make fun of them so they upped their ransom to $25 million; now they’ve cut the ransom by 10%. They’re doing everything they can here to be friends.

‘Somalia’s increasingly brazen pirates are building sprawling stone houses, cruising in luxury cars, marrying beautiful women — even hiring caterers to prepare Western-style food for their hostages. And in an impoverished country where every public institution has crumbled, they have become heroes in the steamy coastal dens they operate from because they are the only real business in town. Sahra Sheik Dahir, a shop owner in the nearest village to Mogadishu, where the hijacked Saudi Arabian supertanker is anchored, ‘The pirates depend on us, and we benefit from them.’ These are boom towns.’ So the pirate economy is thriving. What are we to make of this? We know where the ships are. They’re bringing in catered meals. I’m sure a lot of it’s Allen Brothers. We know that the pirates are listening to me because I made fun of them for their ransom being so low, and they raised it the next day. We know the pirates are listening. They have to be. And if they’re bringing in chefs to cater ‘Western-style’ meals, there’s no doubt in my mind that they, too, have gone to ABSteaks.com and seen the website and said, ‘Whoa, not only would this be good for us but it would be good for our prisoners!’

So what are we to make of this? Luxury stone houses! They’re driving luxury cars. Let me read you the exact line. This is AP-Obama: ‘Increasingly brazen pirates are building sprawling stone houses, cruising in luxury cars, marrying beautiful women.’ Marrying beautiful women. ‘Even hiring caterers to prepare Western-style food for their hostages.’ And here: ‘Somali Pirates Cut Ransom Demands by $10 million — Somali pirates that hijacked a Saudi supertanker have reduced their ransom demand to $15 million.’ So it was ten million, then it went to 25, and now it’s down to 15. Now, ladies and gentlemen, incorporating my fertile memory, my very active little gray cells, this would be a perfect business for Obama’s brother, George Onyango Hussein Obama — who, last we heard, was still holed up in a six-by-nine-foot hut outside Nairobi, and Obama, during all of his speeches, ‘I am my brother’s keeper’ and so forth. Twenty bucks would double this guy’s annual income, almost. Here’s a chance for George Obama to get out of the hut and into a stone house. All he’s gotta do is find his way from the hut outside Nairobi over to Somalia. Join up, get a pretty wife or two, a stone house; get himself a luxury car, catered meals, running water. All of it without any bailout money.

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RUSH: John in Bloomington, Illinois, welcome to the EIB Network. Hello.

CALLER: Rush, dittos, thanks for taking my call.

RUSH: Yes, sir.

CALLER: One problem we have with the pirates is nobody wants to look for them, apparently, but I think if they get tired of waiting to get the ransom for this tanker and they sink it in the ocean and the oil leaks out, that the environmentalists will be all over them and the problem will be solved, we’ll be rid of them.

RUSH: Well, it will be a tough one for the environmentalists. The environmentalists will side with the people like the pirates. They think the pirates are doing the Lord’s work. They’re keeping the oil off the market. The pirates are a disadvantaged mob anyway and they’re just trying to make their way in an unfair world. The best way to stop the pirates — and I frankly hope we don’t. There is very little out there that’s entertaining us. I’m getting the biggest kick out of these pirates. You said nobody knows where they are. Everybody knows where they are!

CALLER: But nobody wants to get them, apparently.

RUSH: Nobody wants to get them for whatever reason. Well, there’s only one outfit that really can and we don’t have the gonads to do it right now. We’re in the midst all of presidential transition. But I mean, if you really want to harm the pirates, unionize ’em! Just somehow finagle card check among the pirate ships and make ’em members of the United Auto Workers or the teachers unions and then they’ll go to their bosses and they’ll say, ‘We’re not hijacking more than one ship a week,’ and then they’ll want to reduce it from that point, want a bigger share of the spoils. I’m actually being entertained by the pirates. (laughing) I think this is amazing. They are roaming around; everybody knows where they are; they keep hijacking ships. The people that apparently own these ships refuse to arm their crews, and these guys with nothing but ropes and little dinghies are hijacking their little tankers. It’s cute. ‘But, Rush, this is high crime on the high seas!’ I know, folks, but isn’t it sort of illustrative of how impotent we are in a whole lot of areas here? Pirates are running roughshod and nobody, apparently, wants to stop them.