Rush Limbaugh

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RUSH: Everybody is chatting in one way or another about Paris Hilton, the celebutard’s retort to the McCain ad that had her and Britney Spears in that commercial making fun of what happened over in Germany in front of 200,000 people. If you haven’t heard this, this is Paris Hilton’s ad, it’s at funnyordie.com, which is a website that’s been put together by a bunch of former Saturday Night Live people.

HILTON: Hey, America, I’m Paris Hilton and I’m a celebrity, too. Only I’m not from the olden days and I’m not promising change like that other guy. I’m just hot. But then that wrinkly white haired guy used me in his campaign ad, which I guess means I’m running for president. So thanks for the endorsement, white-haired dude. And I want America to know that I’m like totally ready to lead. Okay, so here’s my energy policy. Barack wants to focus on new technologies to cut foreign oil dependency, and McCain wants offshore drilling. Well, why don’t we do a hybrid of both candidates’ ideas. We can do limited offshore drilling with strict environmental oversight while creating tax incentives to get Detroit making hybrid and electric cars. That way the offshore drilling carries us until the new technologies kick in, which will then create new jobs and energy independence. Energy crisis solved. I’ll see you at the debates — (bleep) —

RUSH: She called both candidates b-i-itches there. We bleeped that out because of our standards on this program. Now, actually, when you listen to this the first thing you realize is that Paris Hilton didn’t write it, but that she delivered it pretty well. It’s pretty well done and it’s funny, and it’s a great retort. But now we’ve got Paris Hilton in the presidential campaign. I don’t know for how long, but she’s in there. Now, you just heard what she said about her own energy plan, which, on the face of it, sounds somewhat reasonable. It’s not, but it sounds reasonable. Takes elements of both sides, we keep drilling here and that will tide us over ’til all these miraculous new things come to fruition, which they won’t any time soon. Listen to Laura D’Andrea Tyson who was one of Clinton’s primary economic advisors and is now on The Messiah’s team. By the way, this again dispels the notion there’s anything new and unique, untried in the Obama camp. This was yesterday on DNCTV. The anchor, Andrea Mitchell, NBC News, asks Laura D’Andrea Tyson, Obama economic advisor, ‘Obama, who voted for the energy bill in 2005, which Democrats had long called the Cheney energy bill ’cause it came out of his task force, so isn’t [The Messiah] a little bit vulnerable on that?’

TYSON: We need a multifaceted energy policy. It includes some drilling, bringing a million electric battery vehicles onto the roadways by 2015, increasing our dependence on renewable energy and electricity, doubling it to 10% within the first term of the Obama administration.

RUSH: All right, I don’t care what she said. I want to compare the way she sounds with Paris Hilton. Now, we gotta be fair here. Paris Hilton was obviously reading from a teleprompter. I doubt that she memorized the lines, but she might have. I don’t know. In fact, Mike, why don’t you play number ten again and then a very short period of time after that we’ll play Paris Hilton, so 10 and 11 of the sound bites here, and you just compare which of these two women, the Obama economic advisor or Paris Hilton, sounds more intelligent.

(replaying of Tyson sound bite)

Here’s Paris Hilton.

(replaying of Paris Hilton sound bite)

Which woman sounds the more intelligent here? I mean, you gotta give it to Paris Hilton, don’t ya? I mean, a straight up-and-down vote, you gotta say that Paris Hilton sounds a bit more cogent, a little bit more informed, a little bit more confident, a little bit more up to speed than Laura D’Andrea Tyson, plus Paris Hilton has the added benefit of being hot. But that didn’t influence my vote, I’m just saying. Now, beyond this, beyond the fact that we have proclaimed — (interruption) What do you mean, only me? Well, I’m not trying to inflate Paris Hilton to intelligence. I’m just doing a side-by-side here, and I’m telling you how I hear it. You know, I’m a social commentator, I’m an observer and I hear these things, and it seems to me that Paris Hilton sounds a little bit brighter, more informed, more confident on the issue than Laura D’Andrea Tyson, who is Obama’s economic babe. I know it may sound funny, but it’s true. Aside from that, the policies are identical. What Laura D’Andrea Tyson said and what Paris Hilton said are identical. So is Paris Hilton actually a celebutard, or is she an Obama advisor? Or is whoever wrote it for her an Obama advisor?

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