RUSH: There’s a little story here in Madison, Wisconsin. It’s by somebody named Michael James Moore: ‘Why Do Men Hate ‘Sex and the City’?’ Dawn, have you been to see Sex and the City? Never watched the show, she has no intention of going to see the movie. It did gangbusters out there in its opening weekend. I don’t know if Dr. De Cock was in the audience, but it did something like $55 million and chick flicks do not do that well. Most people don’t see them. Chicks do. But this attracted all kinds of chicks. This story, ‘Why Do Men Hate ‘Sex and the City’?’ They don’t hate Sex and the City. The reason these men don’t go to it is theorized here. Would you like to hear some of the theories from Michael James Moore?
‘Media coverage has tried to assess how and why Carrie & Co. induce such massive ‘female bonding.’ Then there’s the other question: Why are men turned off? Vast swaths of the male population will not — under any circumstances! — go see this movie.’ The theory is, ‘It’s the friendships that run so deep — that’s what the men are envious about.’ They are envious about the deep bonded relationships that these four women have. That’s what it says here. ‘Individually, each was merely interesting. Together, they were wizards,’ describing the four women. ‘That’s the guy thing in a nutshell: individual heroics as opposed to being part of a group of kindred spirits. Superman? Rocky? Rambo? Zorro? The majority of heroes in Westerns? Or in war films? Almost always, they’re solitary.’ Men do not bond. He goes on to stay in this story that the only time men get together as friends is when they’re boozing it or playing golf or basketball or some such thing, and that they just are envious of the deep bonded friendships in Sex and the City.
Do you want to know, Mr. Michael James Moore, why men don’t go see this movie? I’ll be glad to tell you. The reason men don’t go see this movie, is A, these kinds of women make them sick; the kinds of women that are always shopping for the latest high heels and sitting around in bars drinking and bitching about men all the time. People that are constantly involved in relationship analysis will drive men to the golf course, the bar, or wherever they want to go faster than anything. The last thing that a guy wants to hear about is relationship analysis. It ain’t going to happen. And there’s another reason, Mr. Michael James Moore, why men are not going to watch Sex and the City. The women in this movie are not hot. I hate to be so blatantly honest here. The only way to get a man to see a chick flick is if Cameron Diaz or Julia Roberts or somebody similar is in the damn movie. Hot women. This new movie, as well as the TV show, offers horse face, giraffe neck, skank well past her time, and that brunette who is not bad looking, but certainly not enough to make up for all the rest.
So any man considering doing his duty by accompanying a date to this movie knows beforehand that he will have nothing to distract him from the interminable relationship analysis that comprises the chick flick. You might watch Cameron Diaz or Julia Roberts or take your pick — there are lots of actresses out there talking about relationships — because you can ignore what they’re saying when you look at them, but that doesn’t work in this movie, Mr. Michael James Moore. Please pass this on to the friends at Media Matters for America and the Obama campaign, and, by the way, pass it on to the McCain campaign. They’ll be very upset with me since they’re trying to woo Hillary voters.
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RUSH: Back to Sex in the City for just a second. There’s a method here to my madness in naming the four women as I did, mere moments ago, and describing why men are not going to go see the movie or have no interest in it. And I got the usual emails, ‘How dare you refer to them that way. It’s so unnecessary.’ Okay. You’re right. It was unnecessary, except to make this point. You want to know why women are really going to see this movie? It’s precisely because of Undeniable Truth of Life #24 which states: ‘Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream.’ It is the guys who want to see Cameron Diaz, Julia Roberts and the rest of these clowns discussing relationships. But women want to see Horse Face, Over-the-Hill Sex Kitten, Grand Canyon Neck, whatever. So they can relate to them. This De Cock guy, this guy from the World Health Organization. This De Cock guy… What, are you still shocked that I’m talking about this, Dawn? Mmm-hmm. Uh… Dawn is telling me that I’m out of touch if I think that Kim Cattrall at 51-years-old is no longer a sex kitten or whatever. She says, ‘You need to look at other 51-year-olds.’ No, I don’t. See, that’s the point. I want to look at 31-year-olds. You have to suspend… What did Hillary say? You have to suspend disbelief to accept the fact that what’s going on with that bunch is actually happening to them in real life. In their dreams.