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Rush’s Morning Update: Menu
May 7, 2008

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Rising food costs have put turmoil on the menu. Violence over food prices has been reported in Egypt and Haiti — and now at least two people have been killed in Somalia, where troops put down rioting over food.

The Asian Development Bank is warning that over a billion Asians may sink back into poverty because of rising food prices. The Bank, of course, wants more money; but they’re actually debating if India and China oughta foot the bill, not us for a change.

Meanwhile, the Chi-Coms have problems of their own. They’re clamping down on food exports, even as inflation rises along with food prices. North Koreans are still starving; another American mission is over there trying to find solutions to their worsening food problem.

Of course, I have the solution to all of these problems. It’s capitalism!

But things are getting bad here, as well. Hardest hit, apparently, are American students. Harvard University, the richest university in the country, is struggling to make ends meet. They stopped serving whole-grain pasta and cherry tomatoes, and substituted chicken thighs for chicken breasts-s-s-s-s — until outraged students had a temper tantrum. So now the whole grains and breasts-s-s-s-s are back, as are the tomatoes.

But other colleges have stopped using trays! They’re forcing students to carry their menu choices by hand, in hopes they’ll eat less. Others are serving smaller portions. Now, all of this may be hard to believe but students, in severe cases, are resorting to bringing affordable food from home! Stealing it from their parents!

I tell you, folks, it’s getting tough out there — very, very tough.

Man up.

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