RUSH: To Dunn, North Carolina. Christopher, hello, and welcome.
CALLER: Hello, Rush. Dittos from Dunn, North Carolina, in Harnett County.
RUSH: Thank you.
CALLER: Yes, sir. We are here. Bill Clinton is actually talking right now. (Clinton talking in the background.)
RUSH: You are at a Clinton rally?
CALLER: Yes, sir. We are here at a Bill Clinton rally for Hillary Clinton, and we are wearing —
RUSH: Yeah, because she’s at a gas station in South Bend.
CALLER: Right. But Bill is here, and I am in an Operation Chaos T-shirt and I’ve got a friend here I just met who has got a hat on. So we are here representing Operation Chaos.
RUSH: See, this is another great thing about Operation Chaos. Our operatives don’t have to hide.
CALLER: Right.
RUSH: Our operatives are fearless. Our operatives can show up in uniform on the battlefield in the camp of the enemy.
CALLER: Yes, sir.
RUSH: Quasi-enemy. I’m sure that the Hillary camp actually likes seeing you guys there today.
CALLER: Actually, we haven’t been… We’ve been pretty much ignored.
RUSH: Could you hold your phone up? You’re on a cell phone, right?
CALLER: Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
RUSH: I want to hear what Clinton is saying, if I can, if we can make it out. Hold that up a little bit.
CALLER: Let me put on speaker.
RUSH: Twenty seconds.
CLINTON: — if it’s true. Because I grew up in the car business, and when I was five or six years old, I knew how to change the oil in the car and get under the car and figure out what’s going on. That’s back when real people could still repair their cars. (laughs) You can’t do that anymore. But, anyway, I called this fellow, and we had this talk. He said, ‘Yeah?’ He said, ‘I’m one of 50 Americans driving to test (garbled) technology manufactured in Massachusetts. And for the last —
RUSH: All right, Christopher, that’s enough. He’s dreaming of the old days with the AstroTurf in the back of the El Camino.
CALLER: Yes, sir.
RUSH: That’s exactly what he’s doing. All right. Look, I’m glad you called, Christopher. Thanks very much. Operation Chaos operatives on the ground, doing reconnaissance, reconnoitering; prior to the actual day of battle next Tuesday in North Carolina. They’re wearing Operation Chaos gear, which you can see, by the way, at RushLimbaugh.com.
BREAK TRANSCRIPT
RUSH: You would not believe, ladies and gentlemen, the grief that I, the commander-in-chief of US Operation Chaos have been getting from my staff during the commercial break here. If you were with us mere moments ago, we had an Operation Chaos operative on the ground having infiltrated a Clinton-for-President rally that was being hosted by Bill Clinton. He was doing the speaking, and we could hear Clinton in the background on the Operation Chaos operative’s cell phone. So after getting the details of the Operation Chaos operative’s presence at the rally I asked him to hold the cell phone up for 20 or 30 seconds so we could hear what Clinton was talking about. And Clinton was talking about how he used to change oil in the car when he was five or six years old and all this, and I forget some of the other things, but basically, (doing Clinton impression) ‘That’s right, Limbaugh, you got it. I changed the oil at five or six years old. I had to be able to make sure the car that I was driving when I was six years old got me to those church fires that I put out when I got there. But, Limbaugh, you understand, when I have a chance to talk to these people of North Carolina, I’m going to make it about me.
‘They understand one thing down there, that’s the dipstick. And I was talking to them about the dipstick. I knew how to do the dipstick. I knew what to do with the dipstick. I don’t care if it was an El Camino with the AstroTurf that you know about or these other junkers that I was driving, but I’ll tell you something else. I know these old boys down there. These are the guys, the people I’m talking to, these are the guys that run away from the revenuers, the IRS. The IRS is chasing ’em down trying to catch ’em at their stills. I know who I’m talking to down here.’ Now, Dawn said to me during the break, ‘I can’t believe that you let it go by, he’s changing oil at age five or six.’ I said I thought he had a pretty good line, he’s dreaming of the old days with his El Camino and the AstroTurf in the back. Of course, nobody’s changing oil when they’re five or six, but I’m sure he was doing it to get ready to help drive the junkers that his dad had who beat his mama, by the way, to put out the church fires in Arkansas.
BREAK TRANSCRIPT
RUSH: Here’s Jeanine in Etna Green, Indiana. Nice to have you on the EIB Network. Hello.
CALLER: Hello. So nice to talk to you. I consider myself your big sister. I adopted you as my little brother a long time ago.
RUSH: Thank you. Appreciate that.
CALLER: I just wondered what you’re going to do to help me get through this election, and you have not failed me at all. So I am a covert operative here in Indiana, and I have called my county registration office and talked with them about asking for a Democratic ballot when I am a Republican, and this is a pretty strong Republican county. And she told me that the workers at the desk could not call you down. Only a voter that was in line could ask you your intention and cause the worker to then give you a paper to sign saying that —
RUSH: Wait a minute. That’s not what we heard yesterday on Indianapolis TV. Indianapolis TV, Democrat head honchos, some guy named Parker, said they were going to have workers at the polls, not other voters, you know, they’re going to check out. And if you are registering from Republican to Democrat, they’re going to see if you’ve voted Democrat. They’re going to try to identify you. The problem is, there’s nothing they can do because after you go in and vote, how you vote is private. The only way you could get in trouble — this is what they said yesterday on Indianapolis TV — was if you turn yourself in.
CALLER: Well, that’s true. I agree with you, but I was asking the lady and she told me that there (baby crying in background) whoops, somebody just took a tumble here. But she told me that the workers at the office could not ask you to sign the paper; that you had to be challenged by another voter.
RUSH: What in the world is that? It sounds like screaming little babies in your house.
CALLER: Yes, my little grandson just bumped his head. He’d been sitting on my lap all this time while I’ve been waiting for you to call —
RUSH: What did he bump his head on?
CALLER: Oh, on the chair as he was getting up.
RUSH: Does he need any attention out there, Jeanine?
CALLER: No. He’s fine and taken care of now. Thank you. (laughing.)
RUSH: Oh, gosh, if I could have a kid like that, bumps his head and fixes it himself, man, I could handle that.
CALLER: I just gave it a little rub and he’s okay now.
RUSH: Oh, a hug did it? Yeah right, I’ve seen that, yeah.
CALLER: He bumped it because he was trying to stand up underneath the chair.
RUSH: Right. I know these babies are stupid. That’s why if they’re not socialized by human beings they grow up to be little savages. That’s why child rearing is so important, why the only people that really care about it ought to be doing it. Look, I don’t want to use your name anymore because if child services were listening, they’ll come remove the chairs from your house because obviously they pose a threat to the little grandkid there. If he stands up and hits his head on the chair you got a dangerous chair, it’s in violation of federal regulations.
CALLER: Okay, well, I just wanted those people who (unintelligible) asking for a Democratic ballot. So that’s what I was calling about.
RUSH: I’ll tell ’em, I’ll pass it on. Operation Chaos operatives, do not answer any questions you are asked by people in line to vote next Tuesday. There. We handled it.
BREAK TRANSCRIPT
RUSH: I need to issue an apology, ladies and gentlemen, to our last caller, the delightful and thrilled to speak to us here on the program, Jeanine from Indiana. I have been told by both Dawn and Cookie that I scared that woman very badly teasing her about her grandson bumping his head and social services people might be coming by to take the chairs out of there. I was just trying to make fun of social services and be funny, but Jeanine, I do wish to apologize, because one of the things that we don’t do here is treat callers with disrespect, and we certainly don’t want to scare callers on this program. The Democrats in the media do a good enough job of that. So please accept my heartfelt apologies, Jeanine. And if Jeanine has fled the house with her grandson after this call to escape social services, and any of you know her, please tell her I was just teasing and please pass on my heartfelt apologies. 
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