Rush Limbaugh

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RUSH: In Erie, Pennsylvania. It’s Susan. Hi, Susan. Great to have you here with us.

CALLER: Hi, Mr. Limbaugh, how are you?

RUSH: Just fine, Susan. Great to have you.

CALLER: Oh, thank you for taking my call.

RUSH: Yes.

CALLER: Why don’t you start, I don’t know if you heard everything I said to your wonderful man who answered the phone and spoke with me, but you start, because I’m so nervous now I can’t even breathe.

RUSH: Well, that happens to many people. I’ve been where you are. I used to be —


RUSH: — a caller before I became the nation’s most accomplished and achieved host. And I know what it’s like to sit out there on hold, you call in, you talk to the call screener —

CALLER: Right.

RUSH: — call screener makes you feel really good and then you go back on hold and then you’re waiting and you’re waiting and you’re waiting and finally you hear in the telephone, ‘Hi, Susan, you’re next,’ and you freeze, right?

CALLER: Of course. But you’re making me feel better already and I thank you for that.

RUSH: Now you’ve probably forgotten what you called about, in which case I could talk to you about anything I choose.

CALLER: I know, but, no, I just remembered in that moment you gave me to catch my breath and I appreciate it.

RUSH: All right.

CALLER: So what I want to say is, you know, my very best friend in the world, you know, talk about campaigns and things like that, I’ve hung up on him three times and kicked him out of my house once in the past couple weeks over politics.

RUSH: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

CALLER: Because I support Barack —

RUSH: Now, wait a second!

CALLER: — and he supports McCain, okay?

RUSH: Wait a second, now. You’re going a little bit too fast.

CALLER: Okay. I know I am. But let me get back to what’s important, because that’s not.

RUSH: Jeez. Can we go back to when you were nervous?

CALLER: I know, I was better, I was better, and I apologize.

RUSH: No, a question.

CALLER: Okay. I’ll shut up.

RUSH: Your best friend’s a guy?

CALLER: Yes, sir.

RUSH: Is it your husband?

CALLER: No, no, no, no, no.

RUSH: Your boyfriend?


RUSH: Oh, that’s a dangerous situation.

CALLER: We could go on for hours. That’s not my point here today.

RUSH: Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

CALLER: Okay. Okay.

RUSH: For communication to occur, one of us has to speak and the other has to listen. Are you married?

CALLER: Divorced.

RUSH: And your best friend is a guy?


RUSH: Do you have a boyfriend?


RUSH: That’s why.

CALLER: Well, you know, let’s not get into that right now because seriously I want to talk about the campaign. I mean it.

RUSH: Okay, okay.


RUSH: I’m just trying to help.

CALLER: I think I can go now without going crazy, okay?

RUSH: Okay. Let’s talk about the campaign.

CALLER: Okay. Now, I don’t agree with you, but I listen to you every day.

RUSH: Hm-hm.

CALLER: Because it’s important for me to hear your views, and I agree with many of your views, but many I don’t, the right issue, I’m not even going to talk about —

RUSH: Let me just warn you of one thing.


RUSH: You keep listening —

CALLER: Oh, I am! I’m never going to stop. I have turned you off when you got me mad, but I turned you back on because I gotta listen.

RUSH: There was a comma there after you keep listening, it was not a period.

CALLER: Oh, I’m sorry. I can’t listen with my mouth, thank you.

RUSH: Some women can, and that’s fine.

CALLER: Okay. You’re a nut.

RUSH: If you keep listening —


RUSH: — you are going to end up agreeing with everything. It will eventually happen.

CALLER: Oh, no.

RUSH: It does.

CALLER: No. This is why I end up calling you.

RUSH: You love Obama, this is where I think we left off —

CALLER: You know what, I feel bad for my buddy because the Republican race is over, he’s accepting McCain, and I am, too, but what I want is who’s going to be the Republican? You gotta find us a great Republican running mate, a guy that has vision, a guy that has the vision of Barack. Then we gotta great fight on our hands, and you and Sean Hannity and all you Republicans — oh, I didn’t mean to say you Republicans, I didn’t mean to give you that lump, but, boy, that’s what I want to hear from you right now. I want to have a fight with my friend and say, ‘Okay, you tell me about your guy, and I’m going to stand up and tell you about my guy.’ But I want him to have one. Okay, is that a bad idea or a good idea?

RUSH: I have no input whatsoever in Senator McCain’s choice of a vice president.

CALLER: Oh, I know, but I wish you would tell me who was great to look at, because I want —

RUSH: Okay, I’m going to give you two names, Bobby Jindal, the governor of Louisiana, and Chris Cox, a former congressman from California at the Securities and Exchange Commission. There are a lot of others. He’s gotta go with a youthful guy, and he’s gotta go with a conservative guy.

CALLER: An open-minded guy.

RUSH: Open-minded guy?

CALLER: Well, in a way.

RUSH: What does that mean?

CALLER: The principal and the vice principal of a school —

RUSH: When a liberal says you need an open-minded guy, what does that mean?

CALLER: No, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, let’s go back to —

RUSH: The last thing we need is another moderate on our ticket. It was just, what, four or five years ago that Senator McCain was toying with leaving our party. In 2001 he was toying with leaving the party and in 2004 he was toying with being Kerry’s vice president. We’re so screwed.

(playing of McCain spoof)

RUSH: I have no clue who Senator McCain is going to pick as his vice presidential running mate. In fact, we were playing some McCain parodies and going back to the archives and I found a couple last night. I can’t tell you the e-mails I got after that speech. People are talking about a third party, so depressed, so down in the dumps. We talked about the League of Democracies. Now, wait a minute. I was watching Charles Krauthammer last night on the Fox All Stars on Brit Hume’s show. Krauthammer said, ‘I like this League of Democracies idea, primarily because I proposed it six years ago,’ and what the League of Democracies is all about is eliminating or overshadowing the United Nations. But McCain can’t say that. Now, why can’t McCain say that? If he believes it, why can’t he say it? If that’s what the purpose of the League of Democracies is, why can’t he say that? At any rate, McCain is not going to pull us out of the United Nations, there’s no way. But I’ll tell you there were a lot of people that were just — you should have seen the e-mail, ‘That’s it, I’ve had it, I don’t care what happens, I’m not voting.’ It’s anecdotal evidence here, but there were literally hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of these things. Anyway, I gotta get this out of my system here… Another McCain ditty.

(playing of McCain spoof)

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