“Mrs. Clinton — I don’t know if you’ve noticed — is looking more and more like a women’s basketball coach every day. This is not good.”
“Vote for Hillary to keep this campaign — this Uncivil War in the Democrat Party — going, folks. Of course, never in your life would you ever have believed, A, that I would be recommending you do this, and, B, that you would.”
“Chris Dodd has endorsed Obama. Can somebody tell me the last person Chris Dodd endorsed? The name was Ned ‘Lament.’ So there’s the value of a Chris Dodd endorsement.”
“Is it not obvious that the Clinton machine doesn’t have anything on Obama? They’re out there using these pictures and charges of plagiarism and so forth. It’s pathetic!”
“I’ve been thinking about this: We need Hillary. I mean, Hillary Clinton is J. R. Ewing and her husband, Bill, is Sue Ellen. We need to keep this soap opera going!”
“Okay, so his name is off limits; can’t call him Hussein. You can’t call him a liberal, too. What other facts about Obama are we not going to be allowed to talk about? Oh yeah, we can’t talk about his ears, either.”
“Use ethanol. Use it. You can starve people all over the world and feel good about yourself at the same time. Sort of like the Obama campaign.”
“There have been many who have mesmerized crowds like Obama; I myself have done it. But the difference is that when people show up to a Rush to Excellence tour, it’s all based on substance.”
“Boy, I wish I could grab a five-minute power nap here. Well, I just couldn’t go to bed last night; I just didn’t want to turn the lights out on the day. Wasn’t doing anything — just sitting there, alone, in my underwear.”
“Speaking of Obama and all these Muslim outfits and so forth, has anybody seen him wearing a Chairman Mao pantsuit? I mean, how come Mrs. Clinton doesn’t get any grief for that?”
