RUSH: Ralph in the Bronx, thank you for waiting, sir.
CALLER: Rush, mega dittos from NYC, my bru-thuh!
RUSH: Thank you, sir, very much.
CALLER: Okay, listen, I’m very livid about something, but I want to make a point, then I have a formal request of the man that has talent on loan from God.
RUSH: Fine and dandy.
CALLER: Okay. I want to talk about Mayor Bloomberg because a lot of people that are from New York don’t understand. First and foremost, this is a liberal Democrat who ran as a Republican for political expediency —
RUSH: Right.
CALLER: — which is mendacious to begin with, and now he wants to have what he calls ‘congestion pricing,’ which is basically a commuter tax.
RUSH: Yeah, but wait a minute. The New York Assembly threw that out, and he’s livid, right?
CALLER: Right, and now he’s threatening, in typical liberal Democrat fashion, ‘I can’t get my way, so I’m going to…’ Now he’s threatened that if he doesn’t get this, he’s going to raise prices on tolls, on tickets, on parking, so basically stomping his feet like a little baby, like a typical liberal: ‘I can’t get my way so I’m going to do something,’ and I’m telling you, and a lot of New Yorkers are against this, man, he just doesn’t see the light, and I don’t know how the guy got into office anyway, but it’s really, really f’ustrating.
RUSH: Well, I think you better get ready. This guy is making serious noises about running for president as an independent, and he may do it.
CALLER: Well, not while I’m on this planet. Not while I’m in the voter box.
RUSH: (laughing)
CALLER: Listen, I have a formal request for the man with talent on loan from God.
RUSH: And what would that be?
CALLER: Okay, listen, listen. I’ve had a tumultuous life — I’m not going to get into it; it will take too long — but I’ve been dying to get into radio and I’m trying to get into broadcasting school, and I would like to request on Open Line Friday if I could be your man behind enemy lines in liberal trenches of New York City to call in for five or ten minutes a week to give you the updates on what’s going on behind liberal enemy lines.
RUSH: My heart is warmed by the fact here, Ralph, that you want to participate. I can totally understand. Everybody wants to be part of the biggest radio program in the country, and I’m honored.
CALLER: Of course.
RUSH: I’m honored that you actually would want to get into this business and serve humanity in your own way. The thing is, we do not have foreign correspondents.
CALLER: (Laughing.)
RUSH: (Laughing.) Look, Ralph, here’s the way I’ll deal with that. If I accede to this request, it’s going to be difficult to say no to others that do this. Just keep trying to call in. Whenever you’ve accumulated your research and your undercover work has produced results, head for the phones and let us hear from you.
CALLER: Okay. You got it, because I call into the sports stations, and I have a little bit of a following here.
RUSH: Yeah.
CALLER: Well, I appreciate it.
RUSH: Your best bet may be to call the program director and say, ‘Hey, hire me!’ I mean, it’s happened, Ralph. (laughing)
CALLER: All right, listen, it’s 20 million people listening right now. ‘Hire me, because I have expertise!’ (Laughing.)
RUSH: (Laughing.)
CALLER: You know what it is, Rush? You know what it is? I do have a lot of experience and expertise in a lot of issues facing our times because I’ve been through a lot, and I don’t want to get into it.
RUSH: Well, you said you’d had a tumultuous life.
CALLER: Yeah, I spent a lot of time in prison, drugs, homelessness, pennilessness, and through the grace of God I’ve turned my life around.
RUSH: So you’ve seen it all and now you’ve gotten out of that and you’re doing well?
CALLER: Yeah. Well, I used to use my powers for diabolical reasons. I now use it for goodness and humanity and for the American way. Conservative American way.
RUSH: And I’m sure you feel much better having made that choice.
CALLER: (Laughing.) Absolutely!
RUSH: Absolutely.
CALLER: Absolutely.
RUSH: Well, you just keep a sharp eye on Bloomberg for us.
CALLER: You got it, Rush.
RUSH: All right. All right. Don’t start shadowing the guy. You’ll get in trouble. Just keep a sharp eye on what he’s doing.
CALLER: All right, enjoy your weekend, bro! I’ll call in and let me on.
RUSH: (Laughing.) Thank you very much, Ralph, great to hear from you.