RUSH: Seriously, folks, these astronauts, two of them flying drunk, allowed to take off in a space shuttle flying drunk. Now, I know a couple shuttle commanders. I have known them over the years, Kevin Chilton being one, he now runs missile command somewhere in Colorado, big, big, big job, great, great guy, too. I’ll tell you, the only thing I can think of is that at lift off, this rule, ‘bottle to the throttle,’ that has to go back to the Mercury days, that whole phrase. Those guys back then, you got the Gus Grissoms, the Alan Shepards, the John Glenns those were the modern day Christopher Columbus. They were going places nobody had ever been before, and not knowing if they were going to come back. So they dealt with it in their own way. They had this phrase, bottle to the throttle, 12-hour rule, bottle to the throttle, you took an adult beverage, you had to finish 12 hours before your scheduled launch. The only thing I can think of here, and I need some experts to tell me this, this is idle speculation. It doesn’t make any sense unless they’re not really flying the thing at launch. I know that the commander lands the shuttle, takes over when it’s very close to ground. But computers fly these things. Computers initiate the roll at launch. Computers handle the solid rocket booster’s detachment after they’ve spent all their fuel.
There is a point in time, though, during the launch where they have to throttle back because of turbulence at the speed they’re going through the atmosphere, they have to throttle back to like 66 or 65% if I’m correct, I think that’s right. Then mission control says, ‘Okay, you’re go for throttle up,’ and they throttle it back up all the way. I don’t know if they’re doing that by hand or if the computers are handling it. But at some point during the launch, they have to be prepared to take over in case you have to abandon or abort the mission and go to an alternative landing site. The computers can’t do that. Well, maybe they can, I don’t know. But otherwise it makes no sense. Now, these astronauts, were they named? Have these astronauts been named? Oh, NASA is still saying it’s unsubstantiated here in the press. Oh. So it’s just a report, at the same time that we’ve got this report that some subcontractor sabotaged the computer that’s headed up to the international space station. Well, if they’re ever named and if it is true or just alleged and they want to defend themselves, we here at the EIB Network, we admire NASA, and we admire astronauts, we admire these pioneers that take great, great risks. They’re going to need a defense, and we’ve been working on some things that have worked in the past, and they’re worth trying in this case should the situation eventuate.
One of the first things that these astronauts, unnamed, as of now, can say is, ‘Depends on what the meaning of the word ‘drunk’ is.’ It’s been thrown out here in the media, but what’s drunk? Obviously didn’t affect our job. We went up there, we got back down, everybody landed safely, mission was accomplished. It didn’t affect our job. This is a matter best left to the families of those concerned, would also be another defense that has worked. If they just attack the prosecutor. That always works. As an overzealous, out of control booze crazed special counsel who brought these charges, they say this guy himself he’s some kind of holy roller who hates booze, hates this, and is booze crazed. That defense has worked well before. You could also just deny it. ‘I never had a drink with that woman. I never had a drink with myself. I just want to get back to work for the American people and fly my missions.’ And you could say, ‘Everybody does it. This is nothing new, look at all the airline pilots that get nabbed flying drunk. Everybody does it. Why are you focusing in on us,’ they could say. And then, if none of this works, ‘Everybody lies about when they’ve had too much to drink. Look at Britney, look at Paris Hilton, look at Lindsay Lohan, still lying about it. Everybody lies about it. Why are you zeroing in on us?’ (Laughing.) It has worked in the past.