“Everybody thinks this is too good to be true: ‘All I have to do is sign up for something free and I might win an iPhone?’ Yes!”
“This is from LiveScience.com: ‘Exercise Grows New Brain Cells.’ It’s a good thing that my brain has more cells than I need. Therefore, exercise — once again — not something I need to do.”
“I think the White House is not interested in assimilating people because it’s hard work. It involves breaking down barriers that have been built up over decades to divide us as a people. And believe me, that’s what the immigration bill was about: dividing the country.”
“John McCain’s campaign is trailing top Republican rivals in money and the polls, and there are staff cuts in every department. Can you say ‘immigration,’ anyone?”
“Let me take a break here, folks, from these Edwards’ bites before I blow a gasket. I should know not to let this stuff irritate and agitate me as much as it does, but sometimes even I have my boundaries fail.”
“We are as much a part of nature as is any other living organism, and every living organism alters the environment in order to thrive. Environmental change is called destruction when man engages in it, but when a bunch of beavers chop down trees it’s: ‘Oh, look at those cute little beavers!'”
“Lizards are our little buddies down here; they eat the insects. In fact, I rescue them from my cat all the time. The cat thinks it’s bringing me a surprise and I have to say, ‘Punkie, drop the lizard.'”
“I think what annoys some people about me is that I refuse to pander to others the way the media does. I try to appeal to Americans with American principles. Pandering is fine and dandy, but it isn’t me.”
“The Men Who Risked Everything, the speech that my father wrote, was the July ’96 issue of the Limbaugh Letter. So if you are a subscriber and didn’t keep the issue, you could spank yourself.”
“I must admit to you people a problem: I don’t hawk my own stuff well. Well, I would rather spend valuable programming time on the issues and my golf game.”
