Would Whale Rescue Cinch Nobel Prize?

RUSH: Elizabeth in South Carolina. Nice it to have you with us.

CALLER: It is an honor Rush. I know one way you might be able to cinch this peace prize nomination.

RUSH: How is that?

CALLER: You see, there are whales having problems in Seattle. I need to know what you are going to do about it.

RUSH: Wait, wait, wait. Is it two whales I haven’t heard about? The two whales I heard about are in the Sacramento, Delta.

CALLER: I’m mistaken then. I think the problem is the dialect they are using to get the whales out.

RUSH: They are using humpback dialect. They are playing humpback whale sounds trying to attract these whales. It is a mother and calf.

CALLER: Okay.

RUSH: They are not responding. They think the whales are getting sick. They can’t live for long in a mixture of salt water and fresh water. Delta is fresh water, they need to live in salt water. They’ve named them Delta and Dawn, I think.

CALLER: You see, you have liberals trying to solve this problem. We need a conservative way of making this happen. I think you might be able to be the person to save these whales.

RUSH: That’s a good thought. I lived in out Sacramento. The people out there are good people. This has happened before. There was one whale and he was retarded. The whale had to be. They named him — oh, I’m having a mental block. It was a funny name. But he was a young male. He was swimming around out there. No matter what they did, they couldn’t get the whale to go the right direction. I figured it was a retarded whale. These two may be retarded. We always assume in the animal world, they’re all perfectly the same. Every animal is the same. They’re not. They could have Alzheimer’s, there’s a number of thing out here. That doesn’t change the nature of their plight and our hearts are breaking for them. I would do an airlift. I would go out there with giant hammocks, get some helicopters, get some divers under there. Tranquilize them first and lift them out of the water. You might need something bigger than a helicopter for the mama whale. They are trying to get them out of there on their own and, besides that, I appreciate the suggestion, Elizabeth.

You know, there is a clear route to winning the Nobel Peace Prize. That is to simply trash George W. Bush and the United States. That is why Jimmy Carter won his. That is why he keeps doing it. It’s why Algore will probably win this one. You put me and my achievements and accomplishments as host of this program, 19 years in August, you put that all side by side with Algore, what is the peace prize? What has been done to promote liberty? Who has done more to promote liberty, freedom and justice? It’s me. Or it is I? Algore is out there trying to create this new socialist world based on this hoax, fraudulent religion. It’s a bunch of religious fanatics supporting global warming. By the way, Gore has been over there lobbying. We thought about filing a complaint with the Nobel committee over this because he went over there and actually made a speech on global warming with some of the Nobel committee members in the audience. I mean, that’s clearly lobbying for the prize. That’s beneath the dignity of the Nobel Peace Prize. You don’t lobby for it. Gore clearly has. I haven’t gone over there. We probably won’t lodge our complaint, although we could. The prize is not named, the winner is not named until October, November. We have any number of things up our sleeve to try to change the outcome.